Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

People knock on my door to tell
me about an unexpected parcel / tell me that my car window isn’t properly shut / ask if my bins were collected because theirs weren’t / deliver a package sent to wrong address / friends who made too many cakes before they remembered their diet so bringing one to me / etc.

Plus the cold callers, obv.

But most of those can be conveyed with a quick text message too. Then you can text back and say - Thanks neighbour I'll come and get the parcel in a hour, thanks friend bring the cakes over later when I've finished my work meeting and I'll put the kettle on for us.

Not answering your door is quite unusual, outside of mumsnet world, so people might interpret it as rude.

First post has it spot on.

Weird way to behave.

I once fell awkwardly onto my hand (off a chair, long story), resulting in a dislocated finger that burstt open at one of the joints with the impact, showing the fatty layer under the skin, and dripping blood everywhere. My DH was at work, over an hour away, and I don't drive, not that I would have been able to, anyway. So I wrapped it in a teatowel and knocked next door.

Thankfully for me, our neighbours were friendly and helpful folk. The wife's father, who was visiting at the time answered, took one look at me and promptly drove me to the nearest Minor Injuries Unit where I was straightened out and stitched up. I was so grateful to have helpful neighbours like that when I needed them.

Oh, and we get unwanted cold callers - a firm "No thank you" and the door is shut in their face, job done. But I wouldn't dream of not answering the door in the first place, unless I lived somewhere where I felt unsafe, which thankfully I don't. That would just be weird.

I don't blame you for being cautious, but there are other ways you can deal with it. Might be a good idea to get a Ring doorbell.

Why didn't you look through a window to see what the commotion was?

Absolutely what struck me, something generations of young women were told to do. God help them now by the look of it.

There is a big difference between spotting a marauding chugger/JW and not answering, being vulnerable and afraid in a rough area and not answering and ignoring insistent hammering during daylight because you can't be bothered.

How do you know that? For all you know the people you assume aren't in are actually just not answering the door.

An ambulance for an injured hand? 🤔😳

Ignoring the door is not weird at all, especially now lots of people work from home.

I work from home, and unless I am expecting a delivery, if someone knocks during working hours, I ignore it because there's a 90% chance of it being a cold caller or a courier wanting to leave a neighbour's package. Only if the doorbell unexpectedly rang during my lunch break would I answer it.

I don’t answer the door when I am working to be fair I don’t often hear it or I am on the phone so can’t. If it was that urgent she could have shouted as well. You aren’t obliged to answer your door to them irrespective of the reason.

@Daisymaker AFAIK the word and concept ‘regularly’ were only just introduced in your last post. Distraction?

And yes, by answering my door in the American neighbourhood I referred to, to a confused older gentleman who had collapsed on his daily walk and staggered to my house, I may well have helped to save a life. You never know when that one time will be.

@JudgeRudy I would say that answering banging at your door or other indications of an emergency actually does make you a better person than ignoring it

I agree, not answering the door is weird and hostile and can totally see why your neighbour is royally pissed off. You want to be friendly and helpful to your community because you (like it or not) are part of it and some day you might need her help or your child might have an accident, how are you going to feel when you knock in your neighbours door with a bleeding child and they decided not to answer? Is having a couple of mormons knocking in your door every now and them such a big deal that you'd rather jeopardise relationships with your community by choosing to ignore their attempts to reach you?

You have shown them what type of neighbour you are just as you have every right too. The loud, panicked knocking of your poor neighbour will not have sounded like the a cold caller so I think you're being a bit disingenuous.

People are bloody weird. Even if you make an appointment they still ignore you.

My job involves phoning women at pre-arranged times. I always let them choose the day of the week (Mon-Fri) and the time (10am-6pm). I always say the call will probably be 20-30 minutes so they can plan their time. I can do calls outside those times but prefer not to because for nearly everyone that is do-able. Can I add that these calls are for their benefit and I always say the number will be withheld because I am calling from work where that is the policy?

You would not believe the number of people who ignore the calls. I'm so used to it that I text saying: "Hello, it's Limited. Are you there?" Of course they bloody are. They usually call straight back and say it came up as Number Withheld so they didn't answer in case it was a sales call or scammer.

It's a very minor inconvenience because like I said, we get in touch after my text. But who else do they think is going to be calling at this pre-arranged time? And if by chance someone beat me to it why don't they say: "I'd love to discuss Jesus with you but I am expecting an important call."

They had absolutely no right whatsoever to shout at you outside your house for not opening your front door.

You might have been ill in bed. You might have been working from home. Carefully applying Anusol to your piles. Up a ladder drilling into a particularly tough lintel to hang a curtain rail. I am absolutely sure if a lone male lived next door to them they would not be abusing him on the doorstep.

Whet they are saying to you is you have nothing better to be doing than answering the door to them. It’s a judgement on your life. And because they know you have nothing more important to be doing they are furious you weren’t available to them.

I would have lied and said I didn't hear it!!

I often don't answer the door because I am on a Teams call, and I am working. How on earth is it "weird and hostile", not to jump to answer the door every time it goes? There are some really bizarre attitudes on this thread.

Can you not see the huge difference between not answering because you're busy and not answering it because you never do, even when you're doing nothing?

Actually I would ignore it as well for pretty much the same reasons, seems odd they ran to OPs house to call an Ambulance instead of their own. He has a bandage on his arm, clearly not dying, so don't worry OP, they will not bother you again.

Yep, that's the (ridiculous) point being made here.

Mumsnet seems to lose its collective senses over this issue. I can't imagine making such a major deal out of a minor, unimportant issue like whether or not someone answers the door in their own home.

Some of the lectures about civic responsibility have been comedy gold, though 😂

Yet you took the time to comment 🙄

But the point is that the neighbour didn't know what the OP was doing. Also, the OP is also entitled to do "nothing" and ignore the door to her own house! Maybe she was exhausted, etc. She shouldn't have to justify it to anyone.

He has a bandage on his arm

The OP doesn't say where the bandage is.

I would have told them to fuck off. Not my fault the child had an injury or that the adult forgot their phone and keys.

I’m one of the weird people who don’t answer the door. I used to always answer using the spy hold and chain. I was shown legit ID, and attacked. Made another mistake of opening the door to a neighbour which didn’t end well either. Now unless I am expecting someone and not alone the door stays unanswered.