Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

Agree - I don't always answer my phone either if I'm busy or even if I'm just enjoying a good book. Similarly, I wouldn't answer the door if I didn't want to be interrupted. If it sounded urgent I might peak out to check who it was. I haven't got a Ring doorbell yet but that would be the perfect solution for me I think.

This is an enlightening thread - I'd no idea there were people who "didn't" answer to a front door knock as a matter of policy.

Personally I'm quite happy to take in neighbours parcels etc - they've done the same for me so we all benefit. Why should we all have the hassle of rearranging deliveries etc when there's a simpler solution?

Given that you used "passing a car accident" as an example of a scenario where you wouldn't feel obliged to help (and given that you must have been talking about a scenario where police not yet in attendance because you said help was needed), I've drawn my own conclusions on what kind of person you are.

Same. I WFH upstairs - pisses me off no end to stop what I'm doing to answer the door to cold-callers/deliveries for neighbours, I just cba. No social anxiety, no fear that some axe-man is out to get me - just don't like being disturbed for fuck-all.

It's entirely up to you whether you answer the door, but I can see why he was pissed off in this situation. I'd probably have tried to find out who it was if their knocking was persistent.

I'm an 'ignorer'. I've administered emergency fist aid several times including life saving. I also need a month of PEP as a consequence. I make regular financial contributions to local and international charities and do voluntary work. I am poorly paid but chose to stay in this valuable occupation.
I'm baffled by your post. Im magining your warped Venn diagram.

I only answer my door when I’m expecting someone or checked on ring I know them. Because otherwise it’s randomness wanting to sign me up to charity or a milk man service or a weekly meal box. I can’t be bothered.
The same with my phone, I know my number has been in a data leak and I can get random calls. Unless it’s someone I know or a call I’m waiting for I don’t answer.
Its not weird it’s just a response to relentless intrusive marketing!

Not answering the door is weird.

I have a ring doorbell which makes it very easy to never answer the door to anyone unless I want to. It is great! I can filter out all the crazy religious, the charity beggers and just any other uninvited callers.

Guess you better just hope that if you ever need to knock on someone's door for help that they answer it!

I also will never answer the phone if I don't know the number - if important they will leave a voicemail or message then I can decide to call them back if it is something I want to deal with.

Why would I expect to knock on a random door and receive help? How entitled is that. They aren't responsible for me.

Before I came on Mumsnet I didn’t realise not answering the door was a common thing. Personally I have lived in all sorts of places, salubrious and not, and managed to get to an advanced age without being attacked at my front door. Occasionally it means I have to speak to someone I’d rather not, but I have coped. I imagine the neighbour was panicking and looking for some sympathetic help.

I find some of the responses here so weird.

Upset in the moment that nobody answered, while they were panicking? Sure.

Actually being rude to OP because she didn't answer when they had absolutely no guarantee she was going to anyway (could have been out, working, busy, asleep, in the shower, on the toilet, etc etc etc)? Bizarre.

They're annoyed as though you broke some kind of expectation that you'd be available when there was no reason to expect that to even be likely, never mind guaranteed.

@LookingOldTheseDays
No you've misinterpreted that. I was basically saying if it's 'correct' to answer the door in case someone needs help, I'm asking if it's also 'correct' to assist in these other situations. I bet many who are frothing at the 'door ignorers' would assist in all of my examples where help is known to be needed.
Some would, some wouldn't. Ignoring your door doesn't mean you're selfish. Answering your door doesn't mean your somehow a better person than those that don't.

Lol. Someone else who'd step over an injured person in the street has joined the chat ...

Equally, many people get to an old age without anyone ever knocking on their door due to an emergency.

Also, I think some non-answerers get that way because of having lived somewhere where they were always being interrupted. For me it started when I lived in a block of flats in London - people were always buzzing all the door numbers to get someone to let them in. It was almost NEVER for me. It was constant, every day. all hours of the day.

And as another PP said, if you've just sat down for a meal, or started a movie, or in the middle of a good book why would you want to be interrupted.

You didn’t answer your door when your neighbour needed help / was asking for help.

This happens when you decide just not to answer the door.

Cross your fingers that you never need help from your neighbours.

The fact that in the end it wasn’t an emergency is irrelevant. She was distressed, her child was hurt, her phone was shut in house.

Just learn to deal firmly, briskly but calmly with cold callers.

Better to be a good neighbour than be too afraid to say “sorry not today / not what I am interested in / thank you but no, goodbye! “ Etc

YANBU. It's your door. I would have probably made up a white lie when I saw them getting outraged though, so that you were busy with baby and couldn't come to the door.

I ignore the door, especially if I'm working/ busy with something else if I'm not expecting anyone. Also, from safety perspective I wouldn't open the door if someone is banging it, the opposite, I would definitely check first who is there.

I work from home - mostly in meetings. The family next door have 4 adult children living at home. None of them answer the door or they’re never in. I could spend my life answering my door to random Amazon or Deliveroo drivers trying to drop the neighbour’s stuff at my house. I’m with you, OP. I don’t answer unless I’m expecting someone.

It doesn’t matter whether the OP is weird or not for ignoring the door. The question is are her neighbours entitled to be rude to her for ignoring their knocking.

The answer is definitely no. And anyone who says otherwise are the ones being unreasonable. I appreciate being maybe annoyed but to voice that to your neighbour is rude and entitled. Especially when for all they know she could be suffering from anxiety or something.

I had to knock On a friends parents door once when an out of control aggressive dog went mad at me. Thankfully they answered but I had no entitlement that they did so. I was only grateful that they did.

You don't need to give us your time Snarky. We're already ignoring you if you.

@TheFretfulPorpentine
what sort of stupid comment is that? How do you know shes an airhead? Id panic too if my son was in an accident, you sound lovely🙄

Yes, it’s a great mystery how things turn out.