Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

Ring doorbell is a good solution to this then you know whether to answer or not. I also don’t tend to answer unless I’m expecting someone but if someone knocked lots then I would assume it was something important rather than a cold caller.

I wonder if it is a regional thing or if the weirdness is a countrywide phenomena.

There were no blue lights or ambulances, just a few knocks. No yelling, shouting, raised voices.
She was completely unaware of the incident not ignoring it.

YANBU, OP. Silly for admitting you heard the knocking, certainly. And at least you know that particular neighbour won’t bother hammering on your door again. With luck he’ll have bad-mouthed you to everyone else in your street so they won’t bother troubling you in an emergency either. But YANBU for not answering your door, entirely up to you. My friends know never to call round unexpectedly, as I won’t let them in to see the mess.

I get alot of cold callers, especially those hello fresh people, who don't just knock once they knock a few times and even if you say your not interested they come back again a few hours later!

So I only open my door if I know I have a delivery that day or I know someone is coming round. Otherwise I just check out the window (without them knowing) so I can ignore them if its obvious a cold caller and I don't know them. That might be a better compromise for you

You say someone "banged" on your door a few times. Is that how she knocked? Banging away like the clappers indicates urgency and should be answered. Answering a polite little knock is optional.

For those saying OP should defo answer the door are unreasonable

Yes its sad neighbour is having an emergency but you dont have to answer door if you dont want to I get annoying cold callers all the time

Your neighbour OP is being extremely unreasonable if theyre shouting at you for being a dopey idiot and forgetting their phone inside. If they did this to me I'd tell them to f* off

Where does it say head?

i may have invented that in my own head, I'm sure the oP said he had a bandage on his head
my bad

I wonder if it is a regional thing or if the weirdness is a countrywide phenomena.

I might say the same about the bizarre level of judgment from people on here!

To those that had never heard of this 'phenomenon' until joining MN....you didn't know because we never told you. All those times you knocked and got no answer....shock horror, we were in 😯

Not aimed at you jeepers but to the person who mentioned the burglary story

But surely banging on a neighbour and quickly shouting “help, we need help, call an ambulance” allowing her to get back to her son who at the time thought was majorly injured is better than leaving her son in the street to go into her house to phone?

but I’m another one that doesn’t get why you wouldn’t at least look to see if it’s the post man, police or anyone! Get a ring doorbell.

I often ignore my door - especially if I'm already in bed or in the bath or in the middle of something that leaving would be difficult. If i'm not then i open it - surely this is what most people do - no one is an always open the door or a never open the door person surely it depends.

For example the last time i ignored my door i knew it was the Police - i was in bed - it was 10.30 pm and heard them speak to my next door neighbour. So i knew what they were going to ask about and i had nothing to say other than i was out of the country at the time so never saw anything. If it had been 6pm or if i had something to say i would have answered but i didn't.

How would OP know it's annoying cold callers, she doesn't answer the door?

She found at by chance bumping into her neighbour that it was in fact them in an emergency situation

She's no clues who knocks on her door.

This happened to me just this morning. I opened the door a crack, let them explain who they were, said "no thank you" and closed the door before they had chance to say anything else.

I have a neighbour who doesn't answer the door so I refuse to take any parcels in for them. The last time one was left on my doorstep by mistake, apparently recorded delivery, so I took it round to them and they didn't answer, I could hear they were at home. A week later they checked their ring doorbell and came looking for it by which time I'd taken it to the post office.

No one has to open the door but I do think its odd that some people have a blanket policy of never opening the door. Several posters have given legitimate examples of when it could be to your detriment not to.

Absolutely no way I would respond to someone repeatedly banging on my door, that including people I know very well too. I would however check the spyhole, the camera footage and then maybe (an thats a big maybe) shout through the door to find out what they want. In emergency I would still not open the door but i would ring 999 for them.

It's a trauma response as a result of an attack 20 years ago. My reaction to unexpected callers happens even if other family members are home who could answer the door and although isn't as severe as it used to be i've come to accept I will always react in some way. Im aware it isn't normal behaviour for most people, that the chances of something similar happening again are pretty much zero and yes ive had alot of therapy before anyone asks. It is what it is.

This thread has made me very appreciative of my neighbours - despite being MONSTERS who don’t answer every knock IMMEDIATELY at the behest of the door police, we are a very friendly, helpful, supportive street without having to keep 24/7 watch out the windows and doors in case someone somewhere is having an emergency or living their lives to suit themselves.

Anyone rational - normal even - would understand that not answering every knock is not the same as being unneighbourly or sitting inside burning to death to prove a point.

But that wouldn’t make the frothers feel better about being so neighbourly.
I would bet my life some of you here are considered about as neighbourly as Hyacinth Bucket by the people who live round you.

Same here. Honestly, no wonder so many people think MN users are neurotic.

It's plain weird for adults not to answer the door.

@Girlgift97 she wouldn't know theyre cold callers if they didn't answer the door, but they say they get a lot. either way you dont have to answer your own door if you dont want to because you are doing something else. I often don't for the same reason and I dont want to spend money on a ring door bell.

The neighbour calling OP selfish is unreasonable. Its sad the emergency happened but the OP isnt at fault because they wasn't aware. They bumped in to them but you dont call someone selfish if they didnt respond to your emergency because they didnt know

I agree with OP neighbour unreasonable and Id ignore them.

isnt it awful the way people conduct themselves. He has no idea how to approach you. Fancy going in all guns blazing and aggresive.
Now he has ruined it for himself for the future now he cant ask you anything. What a fool. YANBU not answering the door but he is definetly unreasonable and so is his wife for acting this way. Leave them too it, they have shown you what they are like?

I find it interesting that a lot of people feel doors should always be opened on the off chance that someone needs help eg first aid. The implication is it's selfish to ignore. What about driving passed a road accident, or a dead cat in the road, or passing a bleeding drunk or a homeless beggar? All these people need help too. Not might, but do. Why are crisis door knockers a special case?

I do answer the door, but let's be honest - very rarely is it someone telling you the house is on fire. Its invariably a delivery for someone else or a neighbour asking you to take charge of something they don't want to deal with!

Do the 'always answer your door' people also always answer their phones? Again, this is something I struggle to ignore but wish I could.

If people are at home, minding their own business, they are allowed to resist attempts to draw them into communication and activity they don't want. There's a risk they might miss out on important information to their benefit, but it's still their choice to make, without being called weird or anxious.

It's your door and you are under no obligation to answer it. And of course it's my time and body, and of I choose to step over the person passed out in the street rather than calling and ambulance, or if I choose to ignore the woman being attacked rather than calling the police, that's my right.

(I'm being sarcastic, for those who don't get it.)

@ImAvingOops to be honest I dont always answer phones or door knockers unless it's something Im expecting or know. Its because too many scams fake callers cold callers ads etc sick of all that stuff

Wtaf? If I'm the first to arrive at the scene of a car accident then of course I stop, and help them in calling for anambulance if needed.

Are you seriously giving that as an example of an occasion where you'd just merrily drive by?

I've also stopped and called ambulances for people who've collapsed in the street etc. Because I'm a decent human.