Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

It says "be on your guard" not "don't answer the door"

Two totally different things.

All the You Must Answer the Door or You're Weird crew are vindicated at last! 😆🙄

YWNBU. Their kid was fine, and you weren't the only possible source of help. I'd have asked why they hadn't shouted for help. If someone knocks on the door asking for help, even people who rarely answer the door will probably take a moment to peek out the window, if they don't recognise the voice.

What if you'd been out? Would you then be at fault for not being home when they needed you so desperately? What if you'd been on the loo and couldn't get to the door? Shame on you for suffering from IBS, I guess?

Leaving aside the door weirdness, them calling an ambulance for a minor injury suggests they're the dramatic ones. Ambulances are for serious problems that involve patients who cannot be moved any other way and/or need immediate transport to hospital.

Forgive me, but just to be clear. Sometimes people knock for help and sometimes they knock to offer help. I appreciate you’re saying that you choose to take the risk of ignoring help but you’re also ignoring a potential call for help at the same time. If you do actually knock on doors to offer help and presumably would knock on a door to ask for help, surely you should answer in case someone needs help?

It's your door, so your choice to open it or now, but your mistake was to admit you heard the knocking.. That's what annoyed them
Personally I always answer, but I don't have a baby to keep me busy

You might say you’re a bit unreasonable, but then you have every right to choose if/when to open your door. Your neighbour, however, is extremely unreasonable and rude.

One of the first conversations with first house we bought with neighbour was explaining that our garage had been broken into and Dh vehicle taken -only to be told the neighbours had witnessed people going over the fence into our back garden and thus getting to door at back of garage to break in.

Didn't warn us, actually in the front of the house but didn't hear anything -didn't shout at them or call the police. Though it was probably a recon they saw as later front garage door was broken to get out probably well after we'd gone upstairs to bed and lights were out.

DH later said it was probably not obvious something was wrong - but I thought it very off - the rest of the conversation was them trying to get us to pay for a new fence on their timetable ie right now- later found out fence was entirely their's not ours.

The neighbour got very upset we decline to pay for a new fence and that we were a bit frosty about them seeing something and doing nothing leaving us out of pocket.

I usually answer the door - but won't if in shower or bed and not expecting anything - but I think in context of this conversation Op had with neighbours probably not very tactful to say you could have answered and didn't and probably best to have denied you'd heard anything.

Have a look at the bottom of the picture I posted!

The police state "if you're not sure don't open the door"!

I have reasons I don't want to open my door. It's totally my decision!

Why on EARTH did you tell him you were in and heard the knock? His kid's been injured so you should be able to guess that they would have been pretty worried, and a blithe "oh I heard you but didn't bother to answer" isn't going to go down well. Just say nothing! They didn't think you were in because you didn't answer, so let them continue to think that!

I don't always answer my door if I'm not expecting anyone, whether because I'm busy or because I just can't be bothered. If there was a repeated banging I might gather it was an emergency though.

Arguably you do, @Daisymaker, but what if you or someone you love dies because someone else is exercising their reciprocal right? Or someone dies because you couldn’t be arsed to heed frantic knocking and dial 999? A glance at the news shows the possibility isn’t completely far fetched.

The UK is the only country I have ever lived in where I can imagine this happening, and that includes a wealthy and conservative American town with no great reputation for friendliness. I do make an exception for those who truly feel vulnerable in their homes

It literally says don't open the door if you're not sure.

Tbh I wouldn't open my door straight away if I heard urgent sounding banging and Im not a "never open door" person. Too many incidents of people pretending to be in trouble etc.

It's a bit of a leap from not answering the door to ignoring a burglary

OP i hope you never need someone to help you and if you do the person who's door you knock on in a blind panic is grown up enough to answer.

There's nowt as queer as folk who don't answer their knocked door 😂

If that's aimed at me, I literally originally out that I don't open the door and was going to leave it at that.

Someone responded telling me about police recommendations, so I'm just showing them what my local police recommend!

I think its' the same attitude - it's nothing to do with me.

DH said maybe it wasn't clear it was a burglary but it did make me think much less of them - as they could have done something just as OP could have opened the door or just not told me - it's not like I'd have known they saw something odd.

I wouldn't knock on a door to ask for help, personally. I know someone is likely to come and jump down my throat and say what if I got mugged etc, and no of course I can't see the future, but I wouldn't think of knocking on a person's door as a source of help unless I really didn't have any other option. I literally always have a phone on me, for various reasons. So maybe that's me being anti-community, I don't know. I like to see it as prepared!

If it did happen to me where I had no other option, I would of course be grateful for any help, but I don't think that others are obligated to help me.

For me the crux of it is that these situations are extremely rare. Emergencies are rare anyway, and it's even rarer these days for someone to have no access to a phone. I don't see my choice to not answer the door sometimes (note I haven't ever said I never answer it, just that I sometimes choose not to) as unreasonable simply because of the million to one chance that someone with no other source of help might knock on my door.

Incidentally I've also said that if someone really banged and I could tell from the volume/frequency that it was out of the ordinary, then I feel that's different and I would have a look to see who it is!

It's not always convenient for someone to answer the door and you are not responsible for their emergency.

I check the Ring camera first and I never answer the door it if it's not someone I'm expecting or want to see. My door, my choice.

@JeepersCreepersWheredYaGetThosePeepers think that was meant for me not you.

Where does it say head?

I know, @JeepersCreepersWheredYaGetThosePeepers . Presumably you can call 999 without opening the door, and offer comfort through it, if you are at least willing to investigate. Luckily I can investigate without opening the door. I would risk opening it to a lone woman or girl who appeared scared witless

Nope, lots of perfectly normal people.

OP, have you ever considered bricking up your front door, just in case someone mistakes it for...a front door?

@category12 Yes, I acknowledge there could be 'helpful knocks' but its a risk I'll take. Ive never carried an umbrella either.

Yes, I could answer the door but I'd be lieing to say I'm busy as most of the time l just don't want to be bothered.There are millions of people like me who like to come home, get 'settled' and relax. For me the doir answering would be like eg being woken in the night and then being told to just go back to sleep or maybe driving to my local Indian restaurant rather than ordering a delivery. For many people it's really irritating. It's not the norm but it's far from unique, maybe like being gay or childless.

Just out of curiosity, what's the difference between not answering you door and not answering your phone? I'd find an unknown caller less intrusive but might answer it. If it was a known caller I might decide in that moment whether to answer.

People are different but this is clearly not that unusual as MN has shown time and time again.