to ask school to replace shoes

[NCshoess]

4 year old ds is in reception, he got shoes for Christmas that he loves and has been wearing them every day. they are light up superhero shoes which is allowed, many kids have them.

Friday he comes home crying in his gym shoes saying he was kicking his feet to make the shoes flash so the teacher took them away. I was going to ask about it yesterday but my sister picked him up.

Today I asked his teacher she said she took them away, but then looking in the classroom she can't find them. I asked where they were and she said they might turn up.

am I being unreasonable to ask them to replace his shoes if they can't find them...these were shoes he was asking for for ages, was so happy when he got them for Christmas and has been crying about having them taken away. I can't afford to buy him new ones atm...I understand taking them away for the day but not to give them back and then lose them is too far.

If they won't drink water as a factor of ARFID then they will definitely dehydrate rather than drink water. So yes, some children do need squash at school.

Or Pepparami instead of fruit.

No wonder teachers are striking if they have to put up with sht like this.

My boybused to wear flashing shoes when he was this age and to school, never ever even had the teacher have a word about them.

Rubbish!! My boy used to wear them all the time and not once have they caused an issue,

@SophieCook oh yeah that's exactly why they're striking, you best let the PM know how to sort it, he seems fucking clueless but you've got it totally sussed 🙄!

Actually light up shoes are very helpful with kids walking home from school in the half dark, and parents often on phones, and with buggies, not noticing that their small children are jumping on and off kerbs into narrow, traffic-filled roads, sometimes forced to do so as parents do not instruct them to walk single file. Also there is often very dangerous, inconsiderate parking outside schools which compoinds the problem.
High school kids also walk home or from bus drop offs with brains totally disengaged from the traffic, large groups, all on phones, chatting, 6, 8 abreast ... lethal!

People who criticise the op in this thread are being very unfair, such shoes are not against uniform policy in this school and she completely understood the teacher's frustration at her ds' behaviour on this occasion.

It sounds like the teacher has stolen them for her own child. Happens a lot

I beg your pardon? So because YOU have decided that they’re against a random school’s uniform policy (without even seeing it!!) you’re declaring it perfectly fine for the teacher to effectively steal this child’s shoes off his feet???? My god, the entitlement these days continues to astound me 😳

Most kids school shoes seem to have flashing lights at this age. Useful for walking to/ from school and being more visible.

How is this not bullying? One of the reasons i home ed my kids is the ridiculous uniform policies in the british education system, anyone who has grown up in Scandinavia or mainland Europe is like wth.. british kids uniforms are fit fot funerals,no sign of them belonging to young people with personalities.

How is it possibly bullying?

How is it not, a 4 year old gets punished by having her shoes removed because they had lights on them? Besides, a small child likes to see blinking lights=punishment? What if this is the only pair child can tolerate wearing,maybe sensory or hypermobility issue or maybe thats the pair parents could afford? Not exactly the first story where a child has been put into isolation,sent home etc over their clothes.

School should replace. I’m a teacher and she was right to confiscate them, lights flashing on and off could be annoying or even dangerous to other children (unexpected lights could cause meltdown in sensory sensitive autistic for example who could then hurt themselves or others.) However, what you confiscate you look after and return at 3! I’d replace them for you in her shoes.

Not if they have ARFID they won’t.

Their shoes weren't removed because of lights - they were removed because of behaviour @Bloopsie. There's nothing at all to suggest bullying.

What if the blinking lights set off sensory issues or epilepsy in another child? Teacher might have been protecting another child. And anything that flashes isn’t really suitable school wear is it?

(Not that that’s an excuse for losing them; I’ve said in another post that teacher should 100% replace. But it’s not bullying.)

Even if you had the money you should not need to pay to replace something that someone else took and then lost. YANBU

It could be a concern if they sat in a dark room and epileptic child would sit and stare at the shoes but surely since its a school its well lit and these shoes on the way home might save a childs life,since reflectors are not even mandatory in the UK. What about bikers with blinking head lights,police cars etc where do you want to start banning things?

Why isnt anything that flashes suitable for school wear if the child enjoys wearing it, because the school says so?

Uniforms were a thing in Europe when there was communism and nazism, and it was one of the firsts things that got thrown out when the new goverments came in power. If you like communism you sure will do uniforms, dont want your child showing any signs of having a personality or that he has independent thinking do you.

What behaviour, child tapping feet to see lights come on the shows that his parents bought and sent him school in, he is only 4 years old, the shoes were intended for his age for this purpose. Dont see these shoes in size adult 6 do you?

If she had an issue with them and since seems there were no epileptic fits or sensory meltdowns (i have autistic and epileptic child myself who wears twinkle lights shoes)she should have talked to the parents that it is against the law? to wear twinkle lights shoes. But hey its easier to power play on a 4 year old than talk to another adult especially if the schools has not made it clear any lights on shoes are banned. Half the shelves in my local Clarks are full of black, uniform approved shoes with leds.

I guess I’ll have people come at me for this, but just hear me out.

I don’t think that you’re unreasonable in being disappointed that the shoes have gone missing. HOWEVER…

That teacher has lots and lots of kids to look after and also teach. Let’s be real, many children of this age cannot use the toilet themselves or even dress themselves (a sad truth).

Your child has caused disruption by making their shoes flash a lot- presumably they were asked to stop and did not stop. The teacher took the shoes away so that other children’s learning was not disrupted. Tbh I don’t think I’d send my child in flashing shoes- imagine the disruption if all the children had these on?!

It’s not great that the shoes were then lost, but I think the thing here is that if you have a piece of clothing or accessory that is very special to a child then sending it to school or childcare is not the right choice. Things go missing in these settings all the time, and taking special care of shoes is not in this lady’s job description.

Children in Europe wear bright clothes,shoes with leds,make up, have bright hair styles et .. and come up with top results in PISA tables where the UK is at the bottom of the barrel. Your logic fails.

If everyone wore that they wanted no one would care, it wouldnt anything exciting but the norm.

Wouldnt be*

Thanks all, had a word with the TA this morning about what happened and to have another look for them (teacher wasn't there) if they're not returned at pickup I will send an email

(and yes, the comments that say the shoes are common are correct, this is why ds wanted them! so we made them his big christmas present)

Who can afford separate shoes for school and the weekends? Children outgrow shoes so fast.

The teacher's attitude is abysmal; "They might turn up"? I'd speak to her in the morning and tell her, "They will turn up by hometime tonight and if not, you'll be paying for a new pair."

I understand the confiscation, but she's responsible for what she confiscated and they've been lost because of her negligence. It doesn't matter of they cost £15 or £150, you're out of pocket because she was negligent.

So yes, email her and if you still get no joy, forward it to the head and tell them that you'll be claiming in the Small Claims Court (as suggested by a PP).