Aggressive school mum

[OhWhatNowYouFish]

Our two sons, both KS2 are usually friends but sometimes fall out. Yesterday they fell out and pushed each other and ended up with a graze each. I spoke to my son (again) saying that since he only falls out with this boy, it might be better to just play with his other friends instead, and move on from this friendship. The other mum is very angry, doesn't acknowledge her son's responsibility in any of this, and every time it happens sends me angry texts. She started texting me last night about it and most of today, including trying to get mutual friends involved.

When she text, I said that I think they're equally to blame, but she went on and on and in the end I said that we're just repeatng ourselves and I have nothing further to add. She, however, continued to send angry texts last night and on and off today, which I haven't acknowledged. I'm due to pick my son up soon and am dreading her marching across the playground causing an argument. She's naturally quite loud and aggressive whereas I find any confrontation absolutely mortifying. I don't know what to do.

Wow, OP, from your nonchalant tone about the boys pushing one another I assumed they were tiny 7 year olds.

Now that I know they’re 10 year olds, I do have shades of doubt about whether this is truly the lighthearted roughhousing that got blown out of proportion that you’re making it out to be.

Maybe the other mother really does have reason to be upset with you brushing her and the incident off.

Ignore completely and walk away as soon as you've collected your son.

And, in the future, ignore or block her texts. DO NOT ENGAGE. No one can argue with themselves indefinitely.

Not worth getting into rows with the boys parent. Your doing right thing by not responding to her. Kids are kids whilst parents are rowing the kids will be playing together. Block her number.

It's awful, but could be a wonderful life lesson for your son. Let him see how to calmly and politely interact and set boundaries with someone who is hostile,aggressive and loud.

In the future if you have any issues like this. Then ask the school for a meeting with them and the other mom at the end of the school day.

That way the school can relay exactly what happened, and it can be dealt with there and then.

It sounds as though she is of the belief that your boys bullying hers and she’s had enough! If it’s true you can take action, or it might be hers bullying yours and she needs to take action or it could be as you say a silly squabble, but at least the school can give you that facts and a misunderstanding about what happened wouldn’t be escalating things out of proportion

Block her from youre phone dont engage and if she does come up to you and harass you. Just say stop any more of this harrassement and im going to inform the police Kids fall out but shes acting like a bully and bullies need taking down a peg or 2

Gobby mums, who needs them? I'd block her, avoid and move on. The boys will have to sort things out. They will.

The thing is, the other mum is aggressive and clearly thinks her DS is a perfect. I've met many of these types and it's best to ignore as they thrive on attention.

What would make me annoyed is the second teacher.

Why has this one become involved way after the event? The first teacher who witnessed the incident dealt with it at the time. This should have been logged and relayed back to the second teacher.

Why on earth has she taken the word of one pupil and his whiny mother over the actual teacher who saw it, over your DS and now presume from the generic email response you got, your word too?

To have a go at your son days later and leave him upset after school is disgusting and smacks of favouritism towards the other boy and potentially his parent too.

At this stage I would flag the teachers behaviour and show the headteacher the texts from the mother too. Suggest the headteacher speaks to the first teacher who witnessed and quite rightly told both boys off. And that your DS wants an apology from this second teacher as do you and reassurance she won't let personal favourites or connections to a parent cloud her judgement again.

What a horrible person!

@ReformedWaywardTeen
The thing is, the other mum is aggressive and clearly thinks her DS is a perfect. I've met many of these types and it's best to ignore as they thrive on attention.

where the heck do you live?! I have never met an aggressive mum
mind you… I’m an outlier on mumsnet as never aware of cliques at school and continue to enjoy friendships I made during primary school years 😂

There was a fight at my sons school the teachers dropped the blinds so the kids couldn't see and kept them inside until they were separated and removed from the playground this was at school pick up time

I used to volunteer with two different children's groups and trust me, you meet all the crazies and the aggressives and the "my child is perfect and would never so much as look at someone in a bad way" parents.

It's one of the reasons I used to volunteer and don't continue to

I also had one particular mum whose child latched onto my far less at the time forthright DD in primary. The child was pretty well known for being a terror. But their mum would not believe it and would always blame the poor kid or teacher or assistant who her kid had terrorised. She picked on DD constantly and DD was pretty timid and accomodating until one afternoon I think she had enough and told her to go away and leave her alone. Queue aggressive mum going batshit at me and telling me to discipline DD severely. I felt for the kid because parenting where you are never wrong teaches them fuck all but a sense of entitlement. It also doesn't wash at secondary where this poor kid struggled to make friends.

I agree, the fact that she hasn't been able to have a proper adult conversation with her & is doing bullying tactics but trying to get the other mum's involved (ganging up mentality) says it all & probably her kid gets it from. Inform the school, one to separate the children, two incase she kicks off in the playground. Tell her you are no longer entertaining the conversation & block her. I had a similar situation with a mum like this & if I'm being totally honest, I wanted to let her know that I am not that B* she can bully & wanted to knock her out 🤣 especially as there had been many occasions where I'd witnessed her kid being a bully right in front of her, yet she didn't have s** to say because she was too busy chatting to the other mums. (The thought soon passed & I ended up feeling really sorry for her). Bullies will be bullies.