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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Late picking up DD from nursery

511 replies

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 16:59

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late.
The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm.
I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm.
AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

OP posts:
ThirtysomethingF · 30/01/2023 20:01

She was unprofessional IMO. I've never been late to pick up my child in 3 years, so if I was 10m late on one occasion due to something out of my hands, I would be annoyed if I was treated like this by staff.

She was probably stressing as you didn't call to let her know how late you would be, so I can understand why she was annoyed but she shouldn't have acted like that in front of the child. The decent thing to do is call and tell them so you need to get a phone sorted.

Swannning · 30/01/2023 20:01

If the nursery worker works in a setting that closes at 3pm, it is probably because she has her own children to collect from school and was made late for that - I can understand her annoyance, although she could have acted in a more professional way.

slashlover · 30/01/2023 20:07

TiddleyWink · 30/01/2023 18:13

I think all the people laying into the OP for being late are missing the point. She’s fully admitting she was in the wrong to be late and would have accepted a fine and a reprimand as very fair. Her question was whether it’s an acceptable reaction from the staff member to basically sulk at her and give her the silent treatment.

All the people ranting about the unpaid overtime it adds up to etc are absolutely right but the OP seems fully in agreement with that so it’s not really helpful to keep pointing that out, or the subject of the thread.

Would those posters say that a reasonable, adult, professional response would be sulky silent treatment as opposed to administering a fine and dishing out any consequences in a polite and calm way as per the terms of the contract?! If so, they need to grow up or get out of the workplace!

What part of I was definitely only 10 minutes late! Not 20 or 30 otherwise I’d understand why she was so annoyed! makes you think OP admits she was in the wrong or seems in agreement about being late?

SeeYouNextTLol · 30/01/2023 20:08

😂😂😂

SeeYouNextTLol · 30/01/2023 20:09

The fact they posted on MN instead of feeling embarrassed about it! 🤣🤣🤣

Kanaloa · 30/01/2023 20:10

She probably didn’t want to chat to you and be pleasant and smiley - you’re eating into her personal time. If you disliked the treatment then you really don’t need to worry because it obviously won’t happen again because you’ll presumably be on time.

Kanaloa · 30/01/2023 20:14

Tellmeimcrazy · 30/01/2023 18:54

Ex nursery manager here. Picking up late is a no-no, but I would be really annoyed with my staff if they had been rude to a parent. It's unprofessional. Some nurseries charge a late fee, and this fee is something like x per 5 mins late. This charge then goes to the member of staff that stays behind. She was rude OP.

Your staff would be doing you a favour by staying. I mean if they all said no we can’t stay over our contracted hours with no notice and walked out the door, presumably you’d be feeling pretty rude. It’s infuriating to be constantly expected to give above and beyond for NMW and no benefits. It would make anyone rude.

Kanaloa · 30/01/2023 20:19

BungleandGeorge · 30/01/2023 17:25

They can’t possibly be open and charging people until 6 and all leave at 6. That’s impossible

Show quote history

@BungleandGeorge

Every nursery I have ever worked in does this. Last shift ends at 6pm, nursery closes at 6pm. You spend the last 30 minutes trying to clean and organise round the kids so you can hopefully leave as close to your shift ending as possible. It’s horrible - that’s why the majority of people I’ve worked with are moving out of the field. I still do a little bit of agency work but I don’t work full time in nurseries anymore because the environment is just so shit. You get treated like crap and work really hard and over your hours constantly to be paid less than I get stacking shelves and listening to an audiobook in a store.

surreygirl1987 · 30/01/2023 20:20

Yeh, I agree. I'm surprised a nursery manager would condone the lateness of a parent like that rather than supporting the member of staff...

Sherrystrull · 30/01/2023 20:20

Op, why were you late?

Sunsetred · 30/01/2023 20:21

I'm sorry but in real life you can't expect to be able to leave work bang on time every single day - I often get phone calls or meetings which run late. I factor this in so that I'm not in a predicament as others have mentioned missing buses etc. It's ridiculous. You were ten mins late and should really have called ahead but her response was unprofessional. I would complain.

Macaroni46 · 30/01/2023 20:24

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 19:47

My child wasn’t upset at all 😆she was just happy and excited to see me, a member of staff has a daughter who’s in her room so her child waits until closing time with her mum so she wasn’t the only child left.

You're coming across as flippant OP. Can see why the nursery worker was annoyed.

Eyerollcentral · 30/01/2023 20:25

Sunsetred · 30/01/2023 20:21

I'm sorry but in real life you can't expect to be able to leave work bang on time every single day - I often get phone calls or meetings which run late. I factor this in so that I'm not in a predicament as others have mentioned missing buses etc. It's ridiculous. You were ten mins late and should really have called ahead but her response was unprofessional. I would complain.

Complain because she was 10 mins late and wasn’t greeted with a smile? Clearly you aren’t the one in the real world

SarahAndQuack · 30/01/2023 20:26

Sunsetred · 30/01/2023 20:21

I'm sorry but in real life you can't expect to be able to leave work bang on time every single day - I often get phone calls or meetings which run late. I factor this in so that I'm not in a predicament as others have mentioned missing buses etc. It's ridiculous. You were ten mins late and should really have called ahead but her response was unprofessional. I would complain.

Actually, you can. Generally in jobs where you are paid very precisely for your time. I work in a job where, in theory, there is absolutely nothing to stop me from leaving in the middle of a job because it is leaving time, and not staying thirty seconds more. I do it quite often, too, because I have a very tight window to pick up my DD. My boss knows this and this is what he is paying me for.

It is perfectly possible this nursery worker was also told when she started that she'd have very precise hours, and she may feel quite cross to be put in a position by the OP where she's working for free.

Whinge · 30/01/2023 20:27

Sunsetred · 30/01/2023 20:21

I'm sorry but in real life you can't expect to be able to leave work bang on time every single day - I often get phone calls or meetings which run late. I factor this in so that I'm not in a predicament as others have mentioned missing buses etc. It's ridiculous. You were ten mins late and should really have called ahead but her response was unprofessional. I would complain.

Are you paid by the hour?

If the staff are only paid until 6pm, then I can understand why they would be annoyed to still be working.I don't think the silent treatment was professional, but it must be frustrating if they're always staying late and working for free.

Kanaloa · 30/01/2023 20:27

Sunsetred · 30/01/2023 20:21

I'm sorry but in real life you can't expect to be able to leave work bang on time every single day - I often get phone calls or meetings which run late. I factor this in so that I'm not in a predicament as others have mentioned missing buses etc. It's ridiculous. You were ten mins late and should really have called ahead but her response was unprofessional. I would complain.

This actually isn’t true. I mean in childcare I never left work on time. Now I leave work on time every single day. Just walk right out the door. Partly helped by the fact that my shift ends after the store closes, rather than cheaply trying to have staff shifts end when the business is just closing, not allowing them any time to close up properly. Nurseries should pay staff after the nursery closes to allow for jobs that need to be done and parents who think it is ‘no big deal’ to show up whenever they like despite the service they pay for being closed.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:29

this!! Of course I know I am in the wrong being late, I’m not dense. My question was AIBU for being upset at their response to me being late 😩

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 30/01/2023 20:30

Maybe you’re unreasonable for being upset, maybe you’re not. The point is that you can prevent this reaction entirely by not abusing the service and forcing staff to work unpaid past closing time with no notice or contact.

StanFransDisco · 30/01/2023 20:30

@hellomynameissuzy don't be disingenuous. She was the last child to be collected and you know it.

Eyerollcentral · 30/01/2023 20:30

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:29

this!! Of course I know I am in the wrong being late, I’m not dense. My question was AIBU for being upset at their response to me being late 😩

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

SarahAndQuack · 30/01/2023 20:31

Nurseries should pay staff after the nursery closes to allow for jobs that need to be done and parents who think it is ‘no big deal’ to show up whenever they like despite the service they pay for being closed.

Lots of them do, though - DD's nursery shut at 6, but staff were on a rota to stay after to do what needed doing.

Doesn't make it ok for the OP to expect a friendly chat when she's been late - whether that worker expects to leave at 3 or 3.30 or whatever, she still deserves to finish on time.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:32

Why would I worry if she was the last child collected? It’s not that deep 😂

OP posts:
amyneedssleep · 30/01/2023 20:33

Her reaction was unprofessional but I can see what she's trying to do: set boundaries by letting you know her time is her own after 3pm, not yours.

Being late is worse to me, on balance. 3pm is the final time you should be there, not the time you're aiming to get there for.

Girlgift97 · 30/01/2023 20:33

StanFransDisco · 30/01/2023 20:30

@hellomynameissuzy don't be disingenuous. She was the last child to be collected and you know it.

Well I would assume that every single day one child is the last being collected?

GreetingsToTheNewBrunette · 30/01/2023 20:34

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:32

Why would I worry if she was the last child collected? It’s not that deep 😂

The way you come across on this thread is exactly why the nursery worker behaved like they did - YABU

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