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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Late picking up DD from nursery

511 replies

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 16:59

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late.
The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm.
I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm.
AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

OP posts:
JemimaTiggywinkles · 30/01/2023 20:34

I'm sorry but in real life you can't expect to be able to leave work bang on time every single day - I often get phone calls or meetings which run late.

Employers are breaking the law if minimum wage staff work beyond their hours, unless the pay for the extra time.

My job can rarely guarantee a set leaving time, but I’m paid a lot more than someone who works in a nursery.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:34

I wasn’t expecting a friendly chat, even when I’m on time I don’t get that! All the children come out at the same time to the court yard so it’s hectic. Just didn’t expect to be ignored

OP posts:
StanFransDisco · 30/01/2023 20:34

@hellomynameissuzy you're coming across as more unpleasant with every update and laughing emoji. I bet you're a joy to deal with at that nursery.

Bellsbeachwaves · 30/01/2023 20:35

No yanbu I don't think I wouldn't be happy as a parent either. I'm late sometimes. Unforseen circumstances - major ones. The nursery are excellent about it tbh and staff would never give me the silent treatment in front of my child.

Kanaloa · 30/01/2023 20:35

SarahAndQuack · 30/01/2023 20:31

Nurseries should pay staff after the nursery closes to allow for jobs that need to be done and parents who think it is ‘no big deal’ to show up whenever they like despite the service they pay for being closed.

Lots of them do, though - DD's nursery shut at 6, but staff were on a rota to stay after to do what needed doing.

Doesn't make it ok for the OP to expect a friendly chat when she's been late - whether that worker expects to leave at 3 or 3.30 or whatever, she still deserves to finish on time.

Some might - in my experience it’s the tiny minority that pay after closing time. But I was responding to a poster talking about how it’s unreasonable to expect to leave work on time. Of course when you’re paid to the very tightest of time limits you won’t be able to leave in time. And it’s unfair.

Wetblanket78 · 30/01/2023 20:35

I was late once picking DS up from nursery. I got stuck in a lift with dd. I was about to leave the shop and walk the 10 minuit walk from town to get him. This was 2001 before most of us were glued to our phones. So not a lot I could do about it. I got there about 12 minuits late.

Eyerollcentral · 30/01/2023 20:36

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:32

Why would I worry if she was the last child collected? It’s not that deep 😂

Indeed, seems like the only thing you are bothered about is your own feelings

Kanaloa · 30/01/2023 20:38

Why would you worry about someone who isn’t even being paid to provide a service ignoring you 😂 it’s not that deep 😂

SarahAndQuack · 30/01/2023 20:39

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:34

I wasn’t expecting a friendly chat, even when I’m on time I don’t get that! All the children come out at the same time to the court yard so it’s hectic. Just didn’t expect to be ignored

I'm finding it really hard to picture what actually happened here TBH.

You say you didn't want a friendly chat.

You say that - for some inexplicable reason - you didn't actually explain to her what had happened, not because she interrupted you or slammed the door in your face, but because she didn't say anything.

Generally, in human communication, when one person doesn't say anything, that's when the other one can talk. But you didn't?

It sounds to me as, when you said 'sorry I'm late' or whatever you say, you feel she should have said something in reply, rather than waiting silently to hear you explain. But she didn't - and you didn't explain - and you seem really fixated on the fact she should have provided some verbiage to make it easier on you.

Gymnopedie · 30/01/2023 20:39

Just didn’t expect to be ignored

And given that you didn't phone, maybe she thought you were ignoring her? In effect, by not calling, you gave her the silent treatment.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:41

Facts lol

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 30/01/2023 20:41

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:41

Facts lol

You don’t seem that upset lol

Girlgift97 · 30/01/2023 20:42

Wetblanket78 · 30/01/2023 20:35

I was late once picking DS up from nursery. I got stuck in a lift with dd. I was about to leave the shop and walk the 10 minuit walk from town to get him. This was 2001 before most of us were glued to our phones. So not a lot I could do about it. I got there about 12 minuits late.

Had your DC recovered from being the last child there? Has it led to lots of issues for them?

Exactly, shit happens and sometimes we're late.

I'm an early bird, sit round the corner type, but I've still be caught out (clutch went on car).

amonsteronthehill · 30/01/2023 20:43

Have you even considered the fact that perhaps you have now made her late to collect her own child(ren) or late for a second job or late to help someone?

She has a life of her own; you were late and cutting into it at her expense.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:43

Nope, she’s definitely going to need some therapy after this 😢

OP posts:
CrazyLadie · 30/01/2023 20:44

sunnydayhereandnow · 30/01/2023 17:03

YABU. Late to pickup is a big no-no. It’s up to you to update them (surely someone around you had a phone!), and also, at least in the daycares and preschool I’ve used, parents make arrangements with another parent to wait with their kid if they are running late.

It happens and not everyone has a support system to do that, after we moved I didnt have anyone at wee mans school to wait if I was late, so a member of staff had to, aye we are talking like twice in 4 years

Eyerollcentral · 30/01/2023 20:45

Have you no homework tonight?

Girlgift97 · 30/01/2023 20:46

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 20:43

Nope, she’s definitely going to need some therapy after this 😢

The next Mums netter with "anxiety"! 🙄

adriftabroad · 30/01/2023 20:46

Stop wasting everyones time.

Blueflag22 · 30/01/2023 20:47

10 mins late? given the amount of 4 way traffic lights around my way, and hideous roadworks everywhere I leave early and still find myse!d running few minutes late. You were 10 mins late!! Not 1 he late! She was rude.

niugboo · 30/01/2023 20:47

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 19:47

My child wasn’t upset at all 😆she was just happy and excited to see me, a member of staff has a daughter who’s in her room so her child waits until closing time with her mum so she wasn’t the only child left.

Can you really not see the issue with making everyone stay late just for you? Suppose every parent had that. You want to sort this asap because longer term it will not be tolerated.

Sherrystrull · 30/01/2023 20:48

Op, why were you late?

Prettydress · 30/01/2023 20:49

No, however angry she was with you she should have been civil. But she's human. She could have had a bad day, had bad news etc. I'd let it slide this once. Perhaps when you drop your LO in the morning, mention you were sorry you were late, may be take some biscuits or chocolates and gage their reaction. Then you can consider your options.

IsItThough · 30/01/2023 20:54

You were late AND you couldn't call. Really unreasonable.

Kanaloa · 30/01/2023 20:55

I would love to see some of these parents’ faces if they showed up to drop their kid off at 8 and the doors were locked, only for the workers to wander in at 8.10 saying ‘it’s only 10 minutes, what’s the big deal?’