Late picking up DD from nursery

[hellomynameissuzy]

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late.
The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm.
I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm.
AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

Nursery nurses are not paid usually while they wait for a late parent. She may be annoyed at yet again working for free for parents who will largely be earning much more than she will.

Seeing as you have some form of Internet access could you not have maybe sent the nursery an email to say you were running late? Even if this isn't a regular occurrence for you surely you could have found a way to inform them. I suppose at least the staff member didn't make a rude comment but they could've at least acknowledged your apology

Perhaps she then was late picking her own child up because you were late? There maybe a few reasons she was hacked off, don't be late and she won't be pissed off saying that not saying bye to your child is wrong but she might have had to rush off you just don't know what people have going on in their life

I’m not being ridiculous but how pleasant of you. Maybe re read my comment it does say this is the case for SOME nurseries and preschools, like ours.

Even if the nursery does charge a late fee, it doesn't mean the workers will get paid extra for having to stay later. Overtime has to be authorised. I haven't worked in a nursery, but this is how it worked in the care sector when I used to work there. Many "sorry I'm late..." but I didn't get paid for the times I had to stay behind because clients weren't collected on time.

You should have called ahead to tell them you are going to be late and how long they have to wait, so they can plan. It is no excuse to have a broken phone. That sounds pretty lame and irresponsible. If they tried calling your phone, they would not have got through. This is a safety issue for your child not just if you are late but in all situations.

You did not take your being late seriously. You still do not. There is no leeway on lateness. It is not a joke.

So YABU.

Don't send your kid back. The nursery workers would thank you.

I have to work late through other peoples choices or circumstances (non childcare) and I don’t get paid for the extra time I stay but I do get charged extra childcare myself for it and sometimes late fees (for 2 kids). And it’s so stressful trying to get there before it shuts.

I try to be polite but is really stressful. If I leave 15 min late, because of the traffic that makes me half an hour later to pick up, so I pay an extra half hour at least, and then pay the late fee if I go beyond that.
So I feel for the childcare person in that instance, they might now be late to pick their children up, incur fees themselves etc.
Most nurseries have late fees for this kind of thing.

Whilst is a big no no to be late, especially amongst MN, sometimes sh*t happens. And they shouldn’t have been rude and I’d complain.

I was late for after school club. Once. Once late for any kind of pick up in 10 years of them having my kids. We got charged per time slot and there’s a final time slot. I’d left work on plenty of time, so I thought. Half way home I was sat in gridlocked traffic. I tried to call the school but the office staff go home around 4pm and this was well after 5pm. I tried a mobile number I had for the school club but that didn’t answer either. We had also been told by the new head that all communication with the after school club was to be done through the office and I suspect they’d turned their mobile off. I arrived really stressed from the traffic by 10 minutes after closing time. I was greeted with a threat to call social services if I’d have been another 5 more minutes. They didn’t ask if I was ok - for all they know I could have had an accident. I calmly explained I tried calling but it’s not my fault if they don’t have anyone at the school answering calls at that time . I said I’d tried the mobile which didn’t work either. The following week we got a letter from the school club letting us know if their new mobile number for emergencies only. I’d also spoken to a contact who actually works at social services who just laughed and said social services wouldn’t do anything and would firstly ask if the school had called all 3 emergency contact details to find out who was collecting my child and to find out why I wasn’t there. They hadn’t tried any numbers. I had my phone on me connected to blue tooth. I couldn’t even phone the other 2 people listed as being allowed to collect the child from school as I knew at that particular time they would have arrived at the school at a similar time to me from their work/home.

Whilst I appreciate staff have a finish time for a reason and might need to be placed themselves etc there are sometimes genuine reasons why you’re running late.

I know there are sometimes genuine reasons. The issue is that nursery workers are low paid and often do not get paid if you are late, even if you are paying late fees. When you get just above minimum wage, having to work for free is not okay. Most nurseries are very poor employers.

Maybe she was going to miss her bus/train because you were late. I think you should accept she was okay to be annoyed, apologise the next day and try not to be late again. My husband was once 3 hours late for my then 4 year old dd2 (he forgot he was picking her up) and almost 25 years later I'm sure it still affects her. She was paranoid about me being on time and if she couldn't see me she'd have a melt down.
He never told me what they said to him but I wa upset they hadn't even given her a biscuit and she was starving when she got home. This was abroad, before mobile phones. She carried on going there.

Are you contactable?phone broken get a cheap £20 replacement put same sim in it
Unacceptable to be uncontactable. Really
Youre in the wrong being late and not notifying them. Calling ahead and explaining would really have helped and deescalated their concerns
See it from their point of view, parent fails to collect, isn’t responding to calls and hasn’t notified them

Really not the end of the world if a child is the last one to be collected. There will ALWAYS be a child who’s last to be collected unless every single parent is standing outside to pick up their kids at the exact same time.

It’s not the OP’s point but say there’s a late fee for being more than 15mins late, I’d probs give myself 5 mins leeway to be late. However I’m not very punctual so that’s just me

What’s wrong with using a laughing emoji?

Usually yes parents are lining up,arriving promptly to collect at end of day
really it’s not acceptable to just accept lateness as inevitable part of nursery day
You said you’re not a punctual person most people are where it matters and it matters at nursery
Staff need to get away to, they dont need to be hanging around for the habitually late

YANBU I've worked in nurseries and had plenty of late pick ups, some one offs and some regular ones. In either situation we would be professional and polite but no handover. We would usually jot something down about the child's day and put it in the bag. You can't expect a full conversation at that time, there's cleaning to be done and the staff aren't paid extra. Try not to make a habit of it though, it's super annoying and also upsetting for the child. Probably an overreaction to not want to take her back at all. The staff member might have had a shit day and be great from now on. Maybe give benefit of the doubt and take note of the relationship from now on.

Very unreasonable if you had a valid reason and it was a one off and u called before hand. My DP was 20 minutes late last week because a major road had been closed due to fatalities and nursery was fine. It happens

Nothing wrong with being 5 mins late in my view. OP was 10mins late and couldn’t contact the nursery. Fair enough that sounds annoying as fuck but the staff member could have been more professional

Fact that @hellomynameissuzy was Not contactable and didn’t notify of absence was unreasonable

Actually yes it is unacceptable to be 5min and then minimise it as only 5 min. Late is late. Sort it out don’t be late. It’s flaky,it’s rude To staff who have to hang back for the child whilst the hey it’s only 5 Mon parent wafts on in

Yabu !
I used to work in a nursery...a late pickup every now and then happened and parents would always phone ahead and apologise or explain. If it was regular or no explanation provoded it would be recorded and kept on file in case a safeguarding concern arose or stemmed from this.

As a parent, if I was late I would accept the member of staff was pissed off and maybe show up next time with a box of chocolates by way of an apology.

She is probably now late to pick up her own child. Don't be late! It's incredibly rude and inconsiderate

You do realise that sone mothers are just not contactable during the day? That's why other emergency numbers are provided.

I think yabu over her reaction. She can't exactly tell you she's pissed off, the silence was probs better than what she was thinking about the situation.

Let's be fair, she isn't getting paid to speak to you out of her working hours anyway. Maybe if you showed up on time she would have said something...fair play to her in my opinion.

Doesn't matter how late you are...its still past pickup time so you've still inconvenienced her and probably others too.

Yes I have a working phone and alternative contact too when I am uncontactable
demands of my role are yes I can be uncontactable for periods of time, I notify nursery of this and provide an alternative contact
I don’t fail to contact nursery or lose contact because my phone is broken