Late picking up DD from nursery

[hellomynameissuzy]

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late.
The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm.
I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm.
AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

Wow, what an absolute waste of social work time when they're already overstretched 🙄

You are still not getting it OP. You are still moaning about the childminder not being nice to you. When are you going to admit you were in the wrong? "Sorry I'm late" is hardly an excuse, and you being so airy about it at pickup probably gave the impression you didn't really mind very much - and so it could easily happen again. Staff at daycare is underpaid and works long days. They have the right to leave when they're done. But then you are late and breeze in and expect her to say "oh it's fine to be late, I don't have a real life after my working hours anyway"?

No I’m not, I agree it’s a waste of services I’m unsure whether they do it for a rare late pick up or repeat offenders but it’s in our school hand book so everybody is aware that’s what will happen if you don’t show up on time

@Thatboymum sounds like a ludicrous idle threat to me.

Well that's on the people who don't collect their kids on time and are uncommunicative. They're the ones wasting social work time. Don't be blaming childminders/nursery staff.

Contacting police/social services would only happen after the emergency numbers had failed to be answered so perhaps take a moment to consider the scenarios where that might happen. If it was a genuine mistake and a parent had just lost track of time, they would almost certainly answer the phone, so there are two likely scenarios remaining. One is the parent has had some sort of accident and is unable to collect their child, make calls, or answer calls in which case calling the police would probably be the right thing to do. The other is that the parent just doesn't care that their child is left somewhere and/or can't be bothered to make sure someone is contactable in which case social services ought to be alerted.

Of course it is on the nursery to have a blanket rule that a person is one off 10 minutes late and they report to SS, it is their choice and they are using it as a threat. Introduce fines, stop allowing the child access to the nursery if needs be, but don't involve SS, which is what the PP was actually saying,

No one would dispute contacting SS if no one turned up for the child and all emergency numbers failed, otherwise what would they do with the child, leave her alone?

Two completely different scenarios, one is totally different to the other!

"Sorry I'm late" isn't an explanation or excuse for either 1. not arriving on time and 2. not pre-warning them.

The staff member was entirely justified in blanking you IMO. Was probably biting her tongue.

Your time is not more valuable than theirs. Be more respectul.

@hellomynameissuzy often the people who work until 3 at nursery then have to go and pick up their own children from school at 3.30. So you could have made them late to collect their own child from school

As we can see from the thread people have 101 excuses. Plan and make sure absolutely nothing hinders you from picking up your child.
No traffic, breakdowns, clients, illness, etc, etc.

You are being way, way, too literal about these nursery rules, especially as they were paraphrased by a member of staff rather than quoted from the handbook! Surely to goodness you didn't actually read that and assume staff wouldn't try the emergency numbers first? Surely not?! Really?

Obviously the '10 minute' rule isn't genuinely 10 minutes. Surely you understood that part? No? It's a policy that they reserve the right to follow if they choose, not something they would do every time. They deliberately have a policy with a cut off time shorter than that which they would operate in practice to allow for some leeway.

It's not a threat. It's a required policy for their risk assessment that has to be communicated to parents. Or would you prefer a childcare setting who, when asked what they would do about a child not being picked up, said "Dunno, mate! Not really thought about it"?

I can completely understand how you feel. It was unacceptable childcare practice for the carer not to say goodbye to your child! She might have already been fretting for you to arrive and needed extra positivity. I’m not surprised you don’t want to take her back. If it ends at 3pm it sounds like it’s school nursery, and I found them to be more rigid and not such good childcare practice than good daycare. The school nursery used to prise my son’s fingers off me when he wouldn’t leave me, whereas the daycare would enthusiastically show him a bird in the garden to distract him, then get him to wave me goodbye. Every busy parent is late sometimes, and it must be stressful if your phone’s broken. So don’t beat yourself up about it. They should have been a little more sensitive and kind, even if you did delay them. Parents need support too and an understanding carer when you’ve been anxiously rushing makes all the difference to both parent and child. But if your child generally seems happy there, that’s a good sign to keep her there.

Also, I haven’t read the whole thread, but some people have said you should have a working phone. Comes across a bit unaware and “let them eat cake”. I’ve been so broke at times I haven’t been able to afford even a £20 burner phone or to top it up. We’re in a cost-of-living crisis FFS.

Omg I remember being last to be collected from school, it's scary! (and that was 50 years ago!)
If the pass agg educator doesn't make you rock up on time, think about your poor little one.
It's fine to eff up but it's also fine for others to have an opinion about it.
Maybe just go in and have a word, smooth the waters a bit, apologise, explain, and hope it wasn't too inconvenient etc etc, see what that does.

I am a teacher and would not be annoyed if a parent was late as a one off, it could happen to anyone, however it gets very frustrating if it's a regular thing. The parent of one boy in my class is 5-10 mins late every day so adding at least half an hour onto my week and never seems in a rush or apologetic. I still would never be rude though, I would have an honest conversation and say it isn't acceptable and if it continued then escalate to management to deal with.

Sorry but as someone who works in a nursery, yes it's only 10 mins, but we don't get paid to stay late. My work closes at 6, when parents come after 6, they will get the briefest of handovers and that'll be it, we have homes to go to too. I get its frustrating if you felt the staff were short with you but they weren't made aware you were going to be late.

If it was the first time it happened, she was wrong to be rude to you especially if you apologised. I would have walked up and said the reason straight away (got held up at work/traffic etc). If it was a regular thing being late, then I would understand a nursery teacher being abit funny with you, although she should still have handled it professionally. I would put it down to her having a bad day. I would get your phone fixed asap with a child in nursery though!

You do really need a working phone, it’s not a great excuse that you couldn’t call them and let them know you were running late because your phone is broken. You do also sound a bit blasé about the whole situation.

However, if she did literally ignore/blank you when tried to talk to her then she was unacceptably rude, and she should have said goodbye to your child. That’s not how professional adults should behave.

Borrow a phone if possible from friends/family (alot of people have old phones lying around). If OP has a partner, use his phone if she is on pick up duty. Sods law tomorrow will be the day she is caught in traffic and cant call again. If I go to work and leave my phone at home by accident, the only thing im bothered about is the school needing to get hold of me.

What if she had to pick her own child up from school? What if that child gets really distressed if its mum is late? Do you actually care about her situation OP? Or do you think she should be some robot who smiles at you and is polite no matter what? Why do you think your time is more important than hers? YABVU

I might be wrong in this instance but I know the insurance only covers children in the building between certain hours at some nurseries and preschools. I don’t think she should have been rude to you but she was probably thinking about what she had to do next, potentially being late herself now. I would apologise again and insist it won’t happen again and you hope it didn’t disrupt her afternoon too much. Keep it friendly and try to move on.

Yes.

And you might not be dense but you’re coming across as entitled and unpleasant. I’d ignore you too if I was her.

This is ridiculous, she’s totally ignored you so definitely complain. It’s not good role modelling for a child is it?
Sometimes parents are late and you apologised. No excuse not to speak to you with civility. Totally passive aggressive, no wonder your upset.

This

Don't be ridiculous as if a nursery would have insurance that stopped cover on the exact time they were due to be collected? Like if they were on the toilet or if they had a call a minute before home time, couldn't find their shoes or cost. They'd foist the child outside because "insurance"!

did you make the staff member late for picking up her chid?