To think I could meet up with friends and their children at weekends?

[PeachesMcLean]

I work full time these days. All my friends with children work part time or at home full time. I'm very envious of this in several respects, this isn't a SAHM v WOHM thread, but why is it so effin hard to arrange to meet up?

I don't have this half term off work, so that's out. Try arranging a get together? Ha! Not a hope. Unless of course I can call round during a week day. I suggest weekends and it's all, "oh I'll have to see what DH is doing"... What? So, every weekend is so amazingly full of lovely family activities you can't possibly drag yourself away to meet up with a friend? No, I suspect not.

Now, my weekend is as precious as the next person's. Yes, it's my only real time with DS and DH but that doesn't mean we need to cling to each other like limpets.

Am I really being unreasonable? Grrrr...

Hmm, so if I included the DHs all would be well? I don't exclude their DH. Just that my DH hates socialising, except with his own friends, none of whom have kids and it tends to revolve around pubs. So I try to ignore him and just make my own way with this kind of thing. But it's not working very well, is it?

And I don't care whether it's meet up with kids or meet up in the evening. I really don't care. Either!

op
can't you persuade her to let her DH have sole charge and you and her have a girly time?

call it "bonding",
her dh and his kiddies.

and call it her "me" time,
dress it up

Tell her you're going somewhere with excellent food, nice booze and waiters with nice bottoms.

I know Slarty. I'm just getting a bit fed up with making all the effort. And it's a couple of friends I'm talking about. I used to see them a lot when I was part time. Oh those were the days!

Need to make new friends I think. The only solution. Easier said than done.

I would far prefer not having to drag an anti-social DH along to be honest .. girlie night sounds fab

Well, I agree with twiglett. DP works shifts so the time he has off is precious, for us all to spend time together and for me to chillout.
I socialise all week, see friends for lunch, playdates, school run, playgroups with dc2 and on DP's days off I just want to relax, or go on a day out together.
Nothings as easy as just the four of us being together!

I rather like spending my precious time off with people other than my fellow inmates of the Inferiority Complex

Thanks mrsruffalo. "I socialise all week, see friends for lunch, playdates, school run, playgroups with dc2" You just rub it in, why don't you. I argue about budgets, try to manage staff, fail to meet unreasonable targets... bugger.

That was mostly meant humourously by the way. I made my own bed. And DS is at school so quite how I'd take him to playgroups I'm not quite sure...

Lol, Peaches, didn't mean to sound smug. I'll be going back to work once ds starts school next year so yes, I am enjoying this sahm malarky!!!

Peaches - do you think that could be it? Maybe your friends don't feel you have anything in common with them anymore? They could think you see them as boring, as they don't have demanding target to meet & staff to manage..?

So basically you are miffed that you can't have a full time job and the time with your friends that you need.

World and revolving comes to mind

Good. Hope you'll hate work too. Don't know why I do it. And I've just had a promotion godammit. Grrr...

it is a bugger - i work during the week - but get the holidays off.

occaisionally - we'll meet up with mums etc on a saturday morning, play have an early lunch - then spend rest of weekend with DH - generally doing bloody jobs.

Bit harsh beeper

Actually I can see the Ops point and think a lot of you are thinking in rather a narrow way. If it is a good enough friend who you can't see except at weekends are you happy to never see that friend again?

I also have friends that live too far away for DS (school age) to be involved in visits during the week, same applies to meeting up with my sis/SIL and nephews.

Peaches come be my friend, my DH plays golf most Saturday afternoons.

And if I take the DC somewhere on my own at the weekend (eg birthday party) I always leave DH with a list of jobs.

But demanding targets and staff to manage really isn't that interesting in the grand scheme of things. Yes, I'll talk about that, and I want to hear about nappies and weaning and all that stuff (I'm on MN aren't I???) There is sooo much more to life than work and at the moment I feel that's all I do.

bozza - I think there's a HUGE difference between meeting up with a friend at the weekend minus children.

And meeting up with a friend at the weekend with children - especially if your DH ONLY gets to see his children at the weekends!

and one day their DC's will be off with their friends, their DH's will bore them then your friends will wonder where you are when they need you.

how about work friends?

or just new friends i spose

MI - I was just about to say the same thing. TBH too much time spent just dh, ds and me gets a bit claustophoic for me. I like to meet up with other people for socialising with or without children is fine with me. However I also find that a lot of my friends are very difficult to meet up with at weekends.

Peaches- I know its hard in many workplaces but you sound like you could do with going part time for a while

Message withdrawn

peaches, sympathies. From the excuses you are getting, it does not sound like your friends are valuing your friendship - I mean, can't they even come up with something better?

I would give it a rest and move on.