is it unacceptable to take 3 kids under ten

[billybonbon]

to a pub from 2pm in the afternoon till about 8 at night and drink hard spirits

I think it depends how much you're drinking and who else is there.

Is it ok to be drunk in charge of three small children, no, obviously not.

Is it ok to have a couple of drinks over six hours, yeah that's fine.

Did you do this OP or was it someone you dislike having a couple of gin and tonics? Not enough detail in your post to say anything further

because i need a neutral answer
a child told someone this so limited information
historically lots of concerns around alcohol consumption

If two friends or a couple went to a family pub , had a late Sunday lunch, and three G and Ts while the children played , watched tv, drew etc and were happy that would be ok. If the children had had enough by 6pm and were bored it would not be ok.

It sounds incredibly boring and not the best choice for an afternoon with children. It doesn’t sound late. It sounds long. I’d ask what the kids were doing all that time, and why it was a destination of choice. If it was a mixed family event, possible rationale. If there was a beer garden and swings, maybe. If there was music or something, could be great. If it was ‘sit there, here’s chips, I’ll have a triple, don’t mind that old git vomiting in the corner’ - then unreasonable

It's putting an interest in drinking ahead of the children's need for care and attention.

I'd be concerned about the priorities here. Six hours is a long time to spend in a pub if you're a child. It's also a long time to spend drinking or whatever the adult was doing in the pub.

Not everything in a parent's life needs to be centered around the children, but this is a long way in a direction that's the opposite of centering the children and their interests. Too far, imo.

I don't think a landlord would watch as a parent (or parents) got hammered whilst their small children were with them and there were no other responsible adults in the party. Would they?

I genuinely don't know if they would because I tend not to go pubs/restaurants that are too family friendly. If they are too family friendly when I get there, I eat, have a couple of drinks and move on.

The alcohol drinking may or may not be an issue, depending how much was drunk, but the length of time is a long time for young children to be in one space (especially a space not really intended for children)

No, it's not appropriate

Hard spirits or beer it doesn't matter. Quantity of alcohol and quality of parenting does.

Guessing this is your ex and your children, and you want posters to say he’s a bad parent?

You really need to take it up with the adult that was looking after them then, especially if there is a history of excessive alcohol

Well that was my thought too. The child didn’t say hard spirits OP did they? What did they actually say? Did they say the person was drunk?

@Vastula I think OP isn't wrong. This isn't ok.

For a lunch or an evening meal but not for a whole afternoon, while presumably the adult(s) were getting plastered or they'dve been bored too, and gone home earlier.

Especially if he has form for getting plastered etc.

6 hours in a pub for kids will likely be boring for a start unless it’s maybe in summer, there’s a play area, other kids to play with and parents aren’t completely pissed/there’s a family vibe. Even then my kids would have wanted to go after a few hours.

If this person is drunk and can’t look after the kids properly, it’s completely unacceptable. If not, some people will think it’s ok.

It’s not something we would do. But depending on the exact circumstances (who is there to look after the kids, is someone actually watching them and available to them, how much alcohol is involved, are kids happy, what sort of pub, are they given dinner etc) it could be anything from ok to fucking awful I suppose.

Context is key. if it’s a grandparent’s birthday in a function room whilst the children are playing with their cousins and colouring in a pub with a soft play / playground / petting zoo and the adults who aren’t designated drivers have a few G&Ts then it’s fine. If they’re bored and watching their dad sink a bottle of vodka alone every Sunday then it’s not.

That depends on so much. My gut reaction was I wouldn't do it and I hope they aren't driving afterwards. But meeting up with a family member over food and one nip or something? I wouldn't get concerned. Surely the bar manager would take action if someone was being irresponsible to the point of a safety issue with kids?

I'd be highly surprised if any venue would let someone on their own with 3 under 10s sit and drink 'hard spirits' for that length of time!

Pub for late lunch and being there until 8.....ok

Pub with kids whilst knocking back the vodka or JD....not ok

Our local pub has a huge selection of pinball machines. It’s a great place to spend an afternoon with kids.

‘drink hard spirits’ could be 1 oz of liquor. It’s about total alcohol consumed, not the choice of drink.

so context does matter.

If you mean sitting getting drunk while your bored kids sit and watch, no, that is not ok.

Single parent here and I do similar once a month, maybe every 6 weeks. This Sat met a friend so we had 3,4,6 with us. We met for a 3 mile walk to the pub so the kids were ready for a sit down. Colouring, Lego, Orchard Games, ipads and a Nintendo switch. Couple of drinks, early dinner about 4:30 then I think we left about 7 and got the bus home. Kids love it. We don’t do it every weekend but it’s about balance for us but I grew up in Europe so socialising with kids is normal for me.

😬 That’s only 2.5 hours and you basically had dinner. Nothing like the situation OP is potentially describing of 6 hours whilst the adult drank vodka, although obviously more details are needed.

Is this even true? 6 hours seems not believable. The people who work there would have had an issue with 3 young kids being there for that long, I’m sure of it.

Impossible to say without more details, who said they were drinking ‘hard spirits’ that’s not a phrase a child would use.

Even so, a couple of gin & tonics over 6 hours isn’t excessive, whereas 15 pints of beer is, so the fact alone that they were drinking spirits isn’t enough information to go on.

It depends on the pub and the amount of alcohol involved. I’m sure I have done a 12 to 8 with 5 children under ten, but there was parkland around the pub, the children got along well together so they were running around, climbing trees and playing while we sat outside to keep an eye on the children, so pretty much like a picnic.

Child sitting at a pub, with an adult slowly drinking themselves to oblivion for 6 hours is a completely different scenario.