is it unacceptable to take 3 kids under ten

[billybonbon]

to a pub from 2pm in the afternoon till about 8 at night and drink hard spirits

A child saying they were scared is the part to focus on. From the information about the pub, it's pretty hard to decide anything. A child's perception of what is a lot is tough to measure. The amount consumed and their interactions with the child are needed to asses whether their was anything inappropriate about the outing.

What do you mean by “hard spirits”? A gin and tonic? Or shots of absinthe?

Totally depends on the pub. Nice gastro pub with play area and kids playing football in the garden? Drinking a few g&ts? Not so bad. Grubby old pub with nothing for kids to do and loads of pissed people drinking doubles. Obviously not.

Depends. If mom said, oh no baby that sounds terrible, I don't know why daddy did such an awful thing. You must have been so scared, were you scared?

The context in which a child caught between fighting and high conflict parents says something matters a lot

6 hours in a pub is not great for children, very boring.
A child saying the parent’s drinking has made them feel scared has crossed the line into involving the other parent.
The level of drinking might suggest it’s not a one off.

If my kids felt scared for some reason with anyone they wouldn't be allowed to have them overnight again.

If contact is court ordered go back and get it changed.

Agree you can’t control but …. If this parent sees these children 2 x per month, I would suggest that a pub is not an appropriate venue.

therefore, I would write a letter and say: because the children reportedly were bored at their last visit, here is a list of possible venues for the kids, (and it goes without saying, here is a list of non-suitable venues which you won’t want to take them to). These may change and I’ll update you, as their interests change.

Then if the kids go to a pub again, you can say: that’s not a kid place and I’ve got it in writing that I’ve told you this. Justify your decision, and if you continue on a third time, justify it to a judge.

A pub is not a primary place for family relationships to be maintained, whatever was being drunk.

It sounds bad. But if you're challenging it I'd advise to concentrate on the amount drunk, the time spent, the lack of interaction, and the generally unsuitable environment rather than focussing on the "hard spirits" thing, which as you've seen on the thread is neither here nor there and easy to pick holes in.

Not the ‘amount drunk’. That’s unprovable by adult standards. Only the location and its suitability for kids for a place of contact.

This

Good advice

Yes I think that's massively unacceptable

I can't vote because I'm not sure what I would be voting for.

Yes I think it is very unreasonable of a parent to do this. The only exception would be if they were drinking mostly or entirely non alcoholic drinks and if there was a play area for the children to occupy themselves.

I also agree with others that the nature of the alcoholic drinks is irrelevant. They could have a glass of wine or a g and t and both would be fine. Much more alcohol than that and it wouldn't be acceptable. It's the units that matter not the drink itself.

Was the person in charge of the children, drunk?

It’s actually a criminal offence to be drunk in public and in charge of a child.

Under the Licensing Act 1902, it is illegal to be drunk in charge of a child in a public place. The law forbids being drunk on a highway, public place or any licensed premises while in charge of a child. The crime can be punished by a fine or up to a month in prison.

Oh that's fine then as long as they do it in Spain.

I'm sure the OP can rest easy now 😂

Does a child under 10 know what hard spirits are then?

The child wouldn't have said hard spirits.

The OP decided whiskey, vodka, rum, gin or whatever was hard spirits.

@maddy68 , in Spain and elsewhere in Southern Europe, wine and beer are consumed with meals in a family atmosphere. Long leisurely meals in a family-friendly environment. That's different than a lone parent taking a child to the pub and drinking solidly for 6 hours without food.

It's quite common where I live in a village. Most people know the parents and the kids and whether they like it or not, end up babysitting other people's kids without being asked, whilst the parents sometimes wander off to another pub in the village and forget the kids. I wish I was joking.

6hrs in a pub big no no from me.

This was my childhood!!!

It was acceptable in the 80s... some driving home too, mind you they used to go to pubs with play areas and not for 6 hours.

6 hours unless it was a special event is unreasonable.

Hard spirits sounds too vague to judge. I can easily nurse a drink so my single rum and coke lasts an hour.

We're they with other kids and was there a climbing frame or similar? I can't see how they managed to stay all day. We're they on phones?

No not acceptable.
Shockingly common though.

I've been to the pub a few times when parents from the school have gone after school on a Friday or school events, rarely stayed long and was driving back home so no drinking.
Nobody is watching the kids who run riot, and pose a real danger to themselves, I'm talking kids under 6.
The other patrons are all rolling their eyes, clearly not wanting to be over run by children.
The staff are obviously p*ed off trying to deal with it all.
And the parents are all totally oblivious and having a whale of a time.

Not surprisingly the pub soon stopped doing all day food on Fridays. Nobody seemed to understand why.

Which was?