is it unacceptable to take 3 kids under ten

[billybonbon]

to a pub from 2pm in the afternoon till about 8 at night and drink hard spirits

The fact that the child felt scared in the evening, is the concern.

That’s the important bit. And yet you left that out of the Op. that’s very strange. Almost like it was added in to add to the effect.

Why does it matter exactly what was ordered from the bar?

Even if the adult wasn't drunk and was drinking naice drinks, dragging children to a pub for 6 hours so you can sip a couple of fancy, expensive gins with artisan tonic waters is still inconsiderate and shows no concern for the children.

OP If the children felt scared and have expressed concern about the alcohol consumption then that's where I'd start. They have the right to feel safe.

If the children were scared then obviously it was unreasonable, regardless of whether they’d spent 6 hours in the pub.

maybe because I was trying to give basic infirmation about the situation first to ascertain the situation. If I need to ‘add affect’ to any situation It wouldn’t be whilst I am trying to gain a neutral opinion on this would it?
the blaming replies on here are ridiculous they really are - why would I want to
convince a bunch of strangers something I have no need

So, the children said he was drunk?
That isn't great.

I think you would have had more advice if you had put all of your concerns in your first post instead of everyone having to interrogate you to get the full picture.

I would say it depends.
I have done this a couple of times over the years when the kids were small. However we met up with at least two other families who had children similar age,it was in summer and at a family pub place with an outdoor adventure playground. We would have a meal there and afterwards the children would play. No one got smashed as we were looking after kids and a couple had no alcohol as they were driving. It wasn’t something we did every week or even month, just now and again as some parents from school who had become friends.

It's not normal. 2 hours for a family meal, yes. 6 hours, absolutely not.

And if the children don't live with them full time they should be making the most of their time together, not taking them to the pub for hours on end. It's so lazy.

Yes it's fine. I live in Spain. Kids are out with their parents all afternoon in bars. Meeting friends and other families

Obviously it’s unacceptable if the child saw fit to tell an adult that this happened, that the drinking continued after leaving the pub and that the child was scared. If the child found it so unacceptable that they wanted someone else to know they were upset by it, it was patently unacceptable.

I realise you've posted on the wrong thread, but your first sentence did make me laugh in the context of the opening post 😆

why is it ok in Spain?

If there are genuine safeguarding concerns, you need to file an emergency court order, preferably without notice if he is a flight risk with the children. The court will order a cafcass review.

If it’s not a genuine safeguarding concern, the judge will tell you that what your ex does during his time with the kids is his business.

i dont think the fact that lots of people do it in Spain is a reasonable argument

it doesnt sound ok to me

Obviously a child cannot keep record of that but said a lot
I didn’t want to question any further than that
also reports carried on drinking in to the night at home which made them feel scared
How much interrogation did the child have to submit to OP?

Was there much coaching? "How did you feel?" "Did you feel scared?"
I can't imagine a child coming home and volunteering that "dad/mum/whoever had a lot of 'gin and tonics with a twist of lemon' or whatever. lol

Clearly you don't like the person you are making a case against so that's going to drive whatever it is you are doing here?

6 hours at the pub? Depends on the occasion/company/situation.

It isn't a big deal for kids to be bored for a bit but usually 3 kids of that age will start to squabble amongst themselves, start roaming about, get restless and grumpy and be unenjoyable to be around after a couple hours of boredom.

The big issue for me is just safety. If the adult was too intoxicated to be a safe guardian, that is an issue. Would they have noticed if one of the kids wandered off, could they react to catch them if the darted out in the parking lot, etc

It isn't clear if or why the child disclosed all these details or what came out in questioning or what the motive is.

Probably not on a school night.
Depends on quantity consumed and level of supervision of kids.

Depends on the pub, our local you could spend 2 days in and the kids would still not want to leave. They have a pool, huge indoor softplay, outdoor play area bigger than any park I've ever seen. In the actual bar area they have off rooms with skittles, squash courts etc and then a pool table with a jukebox. I struggle to get my kids out of that pub 🤣!

Depends on the pub/company/what was going on at the time. Without knowing the full circs it is impossible to say.

No landlord would risk their licence allowing an adult to get bladdered with young kids present.

And yes, I've ordered a gin when in the pub and my kids are present.

I have 3 under 10, no fucking way would I do this! I'd be totally wasted.

Depends. What you described could quite easily be a christening or a wedding so lots of family and friends there, people drinking. I have 3 young children much younger than 10, we'd drink at christenings or weddings, we wouldn't get drunk but we'd have quite a few over the course of the day. We wouldn't randomly go and sit in the pub for 6 hours drinking with the kids though. There isn't really much difference between the 2 situations except one is socially acceptable the other isn't.

Depends on how much “hard spirits”. Better two (single) gin and tonics/whisky and cokes than a whole bottle or even half a bottle of wine.

The post is too lacking in info to make any judgement. How much alcohol was consumed? “Hard spirits” tell us nothing. Were there any other kids there to keep company or did the kid just literally have one crossword to keep them occupied and then another 5 hours staring into space? And then wider context, eg was it a one off/emergency situation, or celebration etc.

The child felt unsafe, is the main bit. So not OK.

The OP could be describing various scenarios which could be Ok or not OK.

”8 at night” is a funny thing to say though. 8 pm is in the evening.

6 hours in a pub for 3 young children is a big no from me, even without the alcohol consumption of the adult in charge of them.

It's not a healthy environment for children to be in, imo.

No. It's not okay. What a fucking waste of life spending your weekend in a pub while your parents get pissed. Bloody miserable.