My mum died today, please help me

[thisblankspace]

I feel blank. I loved her so much and I miss her already but it's like all my thoughts and emotions have just gone to a blank space. It doesn't feel right. I have lost another close family member before and it wasn't like this, though perhaps I'm not remembering right?

Mum's illness was intense and the last six weeks in hospital were really tough on her. I've not had enough sleep during all that time and only a couple of hours in last two days so maybe it's that?

I feel like my brain and emotions are sort of far away and I'm not attached to them, so it's a huge effort to even know what I'm thinking (not much) or feeling (I don't know)?

Am finding it hard to do any sort of task however simple. Struggling with talking with loved ones.

I just want to lie in bed and read or watch mindless stuff.

I'm so sorry for your loss x

❤️

❤❤❤

So sorry for your loss. My mum died in November, I still can't believe she's gone. I miss her so very much 😪

You poor thing 💐

If you just want to lie in bed and read I think you should do just that. Be very gentle with yourself.

I'm so sorry OP. xx

Then please take yourself off to bed and read/ watch mindless things. Every thing and everyone else can wait.

Sorry for your terrible loss x

I’m so sorry for your loss. Everything you have described is completely normal. My mum always used to say that grieving was the one time when you could be completely selfish. You have to do whatever you have to do to get through each day.

My mum died 20 years ago. I miss her, of course, but it’s not the raw, burning pain or the cavernous void I veered between in the early weeks and months.

Please take it easy on yourself. Just do what you need to go get through tomorrow and then the next day and the next day.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

This is normal. Everything is normal when you’re in the immediate aftermath, even the things that feel extremely not normal.

If you want to be left alone, and to distract your mind with rubbish, do that. Treat yourself kindly. Be a child not a grownup. Everything can wait.

You need to give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Take it a day, an hour, at a time. Don't compare how you deal with it to how others are, or how you think you should be.
And, gently, I don't think that AIBU is the best place for this.

Sorry for your loss , if you want to just take to your bed for a few days then do that 💐

My sincere condolences on the loss of your mum. 💐

My advice would be for you to see your GP as soon as you can, so that they can prescribe you something like Xanax or similar so that your brain isn't racing and when you do need sleep, you can get some.

Take one day at a time. Contact your employer to let them know that you will need some time off.

Look after yourself (sending you very in-mumsnetty hugs)

I am so sorry for your loss. I haven’t been in your shoes so I don’t know what it’s like but do you think you might be in shock? Have you had anything to eat and drink to try to keep yourself going? Do you have any friends or family with you? I will keep you in my thoughts

You're exhausted and processing what's just happened.

so your mind, body and thoughts aren't connected, no.

You will need to spend some time just doing nothing I expect.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I experienced the blankness after I lost my beloved father- all I did was sit on my bed and play the same game my phone obsessively.
I think it's the body's way of protecting you from all the pain overwhelming you at once. Be kind to yourself, talk to people when you want to but put your needs first x

So sorry for your loss.

You’ve had a tough time. You need to rest and take time for yourself - read / watch something mindless / comfortable. For me that was lots of Georgette Heyer. That’s fine.

You will have so much to do that emotions can stay buried for a while but just try to take a day at a time and do what works for you.

❤️❤️

So sorry for your loss. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to feel so please just do whatever it takes to get yourself through the next hour, the next day and so on

I’m so sorry for your loss. Whatever you are feeling right now is ok so don’t worry about that. There is no right or wrong way to react. I hope you have people to talk to if and/or when you need it or to just be close to. If writing on here helps keep that up too.
Please look after yourself as this is an extremely emotional time for you. Lots of love to you xxx

I remember this feeling. You are gong through an enormous adjustment: I remember relief, guilt, terror, sadness, exhaustion and lots more besides when my own Mum died. Everything you have described I have learned is 100% normal. Please be gentle with yourself and don’t try and fit “expectations” of how you are supposed to behave. Sorry you are going though this. No matter what, you will always be your Mums daughter 🌻

💐 I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. Remember to eat and rest xx

I’m so very sorry for your loss op. I think it’s such a shock when your mum passes, even if you knew it was coming, you haven’t begun to process what’s happened. I think this is normal and to be expected. I certainly remember feeling like this when my mum died. It’s ok to feel like this, your emotions will change day by day, minute by minute, and anything and everything you feel or don’t feel is ok.
Sending big hugs your way x

Shock is a big thing, my parents were killed unexpectedly,took my brain ages to adjust.
Take care, no rules be kind to yourself, a big loss is very tough

It's a hard life at times. Sorry for your loss

So so sorry @thisblankspace ❤️❤️❤️ cant imagine what you're going through and I often think of this day and I get emotional even thinking about it so I truly dread to think how you're feeling right now 😢
I just want to give you a virtual hug OP xxx