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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband labelling HIS OWN FOOD

334 replies

MrsWestox · 28/01/2023 18:37

Hi all
Now, am I being old fashioned here? Husband since 2014 has taken to labelling ALL the food he buys with a sharpie pen..which ironically I bought.. expecting no one to touch it. But when it comes to the food I buy..plus literally everything else from loo roll to bin bags to washing powder that I buy..is fair game for him to use or eat as he sees fit. So much for a shared household eh? Sharing is caring..( lol)! Has anyone else experienced this..? Am I being unreasonable to be totally razzed off by this?

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 28/01/2023 23:54

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/01/2023 18:44

Label the Sharpie. <meta>

You've always been my favourite poster.

GoldilockMom · 28/01/2023 23:54

What are you getting from this marriage?
Seriously, have a word with yourself!

Cannottryasp00 · 29/01/2023 00:00

I get very annoyed when husband cannot be bothered to top up the food he likes and doesn’t chuck out food that is beyond sell by dates

Original poster
MrsWestox · 29/01/2023 00:04

Yes..he cooks ( for himself).does ( his ) washing and puts it out to dry. Nothing is properly shared except utility bills. In the past a 50% contribution has sometimes not been forthcoming either.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 29/01/2023 00:04

Awwww @JassyRadlett Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/01/2023 00:05

MrsWestox · 29/01/2023 00:04

Yes..he cooks ( for himself).does ( his ) washing and puts it out to dry. Nothing is properly shared except utility bills. In the past a 50% contribution has sometimes not been forthcoming either.

Nothing is shared except utilities? Sad

Duckingella · 29/01/2023 00:07

MrsWestox · 28/01/2023 19:09

Yes..mostly seperate finances and seperate rooms. Shared utilities and car insurance.

Is he your partner or lodger?;what is the actual point of him?;sounds as though you're not really in a relationship.

sunnydaytoday0 · 29/01/2023 00:10

I won't give any advice but this thread reminded me of an episode of that American show Extreme Cheapskates - a couple that featured would label their initials in pen on 6 eggs each in their weekly box of a dozen. The guy said that one week his partner bought the eggs without checking and two were cracked, so those two had to come out of her eggs 😂

Pixiedust1234 · 29/01/2023 00:10

MrsWestox · 29/01/2023 00:04

Yes..he cooks ( for himself).does ( his ) washing and puts it out to dry. Nothing is properly shared except utility bills. In the past a 50% contribution has sometimes not been forthcoming either.

Its time OP. Actually it is past time. He needs to go as he isn't in a relationship with you at all, you are just a roof over his head.

Original poster
MrsWestox · 29/01/2023 00:15

It totally is real. No messing about. I kid you not...etc..

OP posts:
Therealjudgejudy · 29/01/2023 00:15

This man is a total know...but you must know that op.

The level of bizarreness of this situation has completely baffled me...😳

Therealjudgejudy · 29/01/2023 00:16

Sorry that should have said knob...

Duckingella · 29/01/2023 00:16

Soothsayer1 · 28/01/2023 21:41

this is a manifestation of the 'what's yours is mine & what's mine's my own' mindset.
I'd do it back to him, or just cut to the chase & get rid?

Except in the case of a divorce where legally half of everything goes to the OP;I have visions of him frankly running around with the precious sharpie labelling all the external bricks with his name in a misguided attempt to claim the house as "his".

Soothsayer1 · 29/01/2023 00:18

I think I would meticulously insist on separate and very precisely measured division of everything, NO way would I let him eat food I'd paid for, I'd fit a padlock on my cupboard if he did, he doesnt see you as a partner at all, I'd not want to live with him it'd feel too awkward!
I think it's all a protest about the fact that your children are in the household OP?

Original poster
MrsWestox · 29/01/2023 00:23

Soothsayer1 · 29/01/2023 00:18

I think I would meticulously insist on separate and very precisely measured division of everything, NO way would I let him eat food I'd paid for, I'd fit a padlock on my cupboard if he did, he doesnt see you as a partner at all, I'd not want to live with him it'd feel too awkward!
I think it's all a protest about the fact that your children are in the household OP?

I think you're right actually. Not that I condone or excuse the behaviour. I have got used to the dysfunction of it and it has become a standing joke as it is now happening almost every day. I take the attitude that I am not going to retaliate as it is super petty. I genuinely wondered if anyone else out there had or was experiencing similar. It seems 97% of you think I am not being unreasonable, so for that, I thank you guys.

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 29/01/2023 00:28

Why are you with this miserable git?

BornBlonde · 29/01/2023 00:29

This is bizarre

Boxerdogbillie · 29/01/2023 00:37

LeapingCat · 28/01/2023 18:48

Is he financially abusive generally?

Bit of a jump that isn't it?

AdoraBell · 29/01/2023 00:46

That sounds like my late father, the cooking his own food and nothing for his family rather than the labelling. The best thing my mother did was divorcing him.

I would not tolerate this bloody childish attitude.

Original poster
MrsWestox · 29/01/2023 00:48

Thank you Adorabell.🙏

OP posts:
OldFan · 29/01/2023 00:52

@MrsWestox Were the post it notes also about food? Or something else?

It sounds like you (understandably) want to separate from him. He virtually lives like he's single anyway. Start your plan to separate from him when you're ready.

Original poster
MrsWestox · 29/01/2023 00:56

Thanks OldFan
He is also moaning on about my kids making too much noise and bangs on the walls and floor in protest..

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 29/01/2023 01:00

Just a thought (and I could be totally wrong) but is he trying to do legal separation without telling you. Before the divorce criteria was changed to no fault last April it was adultery, 2 yrs separation/consent or 5yrs separation/no consent. He is acting as though you are in the process of divorce but forced to live under one roof until house sells.

Please start getting your financial documents sorted while you potentially have access to his Flowers

WickedStepmomNOT · 29/01/2023 01:03

Passthechocolatesplease · 28/01/2023 22:25

What a horrible thing to say!

Show quote history

Well, maybe not! Kids are thoughtless and selfish, its in their job description, they just are, unless taught otherwise. Maybe he's making a point about OPs kids behaviour in the house?! The thing is, it is bizarre as its not just his personal treats which would be understandable but weird stuff like celeriac which no sane person would want to steal. Until OP manages to talk to him she wont know whats triggered this

OldFan · 29/01/2023 01:06

bangs on the walls and floor in protest..

wow @MrsWestox . It all sounds like having an annoying housemate or neighbour. Not relaxing at all. What's your plan?