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Original poster

To feel disgusting without makeup?

141 replies

PandaFox · 28/01/2023 16:32

I realise this may sound a little dramatic, however, it would be nice to know if anyone else feels the same and what you have done to overcome it.

I wear makeup 365 days per year.
I will not leave the house without it on.
I've worn it since I was 15 and I am now 35.
I try to avoid my DH seeing me without makeup as much as possible.
I have thought about situations like a house fire/ if we had to evacuate in the middle of the night and all I can think about is the fear of being seen without makeup on. Which I know is utterly ridiculous.
I wear makeup when I'm at home alone (concealer, foundation, powder, blusher, mascara, and eyeliner).
I don't feel "myself" or "fully awake" without it. Similar to having a shower in the morning. It's just something I NEED to do.

Now that I'm mid thirties and TTC, I really don't want to have to worry about this anymore. And one day if I have a daughter I absolutely never want her to feel the way I do.

OP posts:
123rd · 28/01/2023 16:36

I feel weird and disgusting if I ever wear make up. I don't actually own any myself
We are all different. Can you start to wean yourself off? Go without eye liner in the house for example ? Just a little less every so often, then maybe in a few months it wouldn't be the big deal it is now.
You have my sympathy as it must be very controlling

6ft1minimum · 28/01/2023 16:38

I agree with PP maybe try and do a lighter makeup one day and see how you feel. I'm 37 and only wear makeup on a night out. Saves me so much time in a morning:

JamSandle · 28/01/2023 16:38

You probably look fine without it. You just aren't used to seeing yourself without it.

Original poster
PandaFox · 28/01/2023 16:44

123rd · 28/01/2023 16:36

I feel weird and disgusting if I ever wear make up. I don't actually own any myself
We are all different. Can you start to wean yourself off? Go without eye liner in the house for example ? Just a little less every so often, then maybe in a few months it wouldn't be the big deal it is now.
You have my sympathy as it must be very controlling

Thank you, I wish I could do this.

I did try a few months ago, however, without eyeliner I feel like I look tired/ drained and honestly ugly.

OP posts:
Mayalinaballerina · 28/01/2023 16:46

If its something that will distress you if youre not able to do it and you're trying to have a baby, then now is the time to address it as you won't always have time to do make up with a child. Or be able to do it exactly when you want to.

(It may be that you naturally relax about it once you have a child as you will have a whole new focus)

Good luck, start small maybe and don't do mascara say, for a few days and build from there.

doadeer · 28/01/2023 16:47

I trained myself to not see my unmade up face as not ready. Now I love not wearing make up. I take a lot of pleasure in skincare and when I had my son it was a few moments to myself each day. When I had a baby I didn't like the idea of foundation rubbing off on his little head! It's so lovely and liberating to.learn to like my natural face. It's worth persevering with.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 28/01/2023 16:48

I'm 42 and only wear make up when I go into my office. Not sure why, I mean, everyone sees me on Teams every day with no make up on.

I enjoy doing my make up, I like how I look with it on. But if I wear it a few days in a row my skin suffers and I break out in very sore spots. I always wash it off properly etc, but my skin is sensitive.

aSpanielintheworks · 28/01/2023 16:50

Maybe not to the extent that I'd worry about a middle of the night evacuation - but I wear makeup every single day too, I feel bare, undressed and really unattractive without it. I'd love to have been blessed with skin like my two daughters, who don't wear it at all, but the truth is I wasn't, and if I ever even try to cut down, I get told all day long I look tired/ill.
It's nothing to do with being vain. For me it's everything to do with self confidence.

UmmmBopDeeDooWhop · 28/01/2023 16:52

Gosh. I wear make up but not if I'm not leaving the house. I've found as I get older that I'm wearing less but I think that's because wearing heavy make up when your skin isn't young and fresh can look aging.

I think that it's a positive sign that you've made the decision yourself that you don't want to do it anymore but on the other hand I don't think you should beat yourself up about it either.

Effortlesslyaverage · 28/01/2023 16:52

I completely know what you mean. I used to be like this and I started using home eyebrow and eyelash dye once every few weeks as I'm really fair and a drop of tanning oil in my face moisturiser every few days and now I'm confident 'without makeup' some days and am always barefaced eg at home or swimming. Might be worth a try as a way of reducing what you feel you need. I bet you look lovely as you are but it takes adjustment if you're used to wearing makeup all the time.

Original poster
PandaFox · 28/01/2023 16:53

Thank all, yes I think it's also due to the fact that I have a lot of freckles on my face. I have always completely covered them up and even now, when I try to use less foundation, if I see some freckles coming through I won't leave the house.

I need to get a grip, I know, but I don't want to spend every day feeling like an ugly mess.

OP posts:
Fernleigh22 · 28/01/2023 16:54

I feel exactly the same. I've had my children, but when they were little they knew we wasn't leaving the house until my face was on. I feel better wearing it, it's my war paint. I wear less on holiday (twice a year). I factor in time in my morning routine to do my makeup - all of 10minutes.

Precipice · 28/01/2023 16:54

Reduce quantity, reduce frequency.

If you feel you have to wear 6 products, try wearing 5 products. Skip the lipstick, skip the eyemakeup, whichever. Introduce activities you do without makeup.

Look at your DH. Is his face always covered in 6 products? Presumably it isn't. Why can he be around you and out in the world with his actual face but you can't be around him and out in the world with yours?

doadeer · 28/01/2023 16:56

Oh freckles are beautiful.

How would you feel if your daughter wanted to cover her freckles?

Original poster
PandaFox · 28/01/2023 16:57

This all makes sense, I know it does.

I see women everyday without any make up on. I don't think they look disgusting, in fact I am jealous of them! I don't know why I feel this way about myself.

OP posts:
doadeer · 28/01/2023 16:57

Erborian CC cream is really light if you want to move away gradually from foundation

savoycabbage · 28/01/2023 16:57

I've literally just finished watching a reality tv programme where in the last scene one of the women wasn't wearing make up and was all freckly and I thought to myself how lovely and much younger she looked.

Original poster
PandaFox · 28/01/2023 16:57

doadeer · 28/01/2023 16:56

Oh freckles are beautiful.

How would you feel if your daughter wanted to cover her freckles?

I'd feel really sad. I know what you mean; when I see other people with freckles I think they look beautiful. Just not me.

OP posts:
Princesspollyyy · 28/01/2023 16:59

I don't like how I look with no makeup on, but I regularly go without it, especially if I'm not leaving the house. Even if I am leaving the house I don't always bother.

I've started using a self tanning spray on my face, I do a few sprays in the evening after I've washed my face, and that really helps. The next morning I've got a lovely glow and don't need foundation or concealer.

I've never been a fan of eyeliner anyway, I think it looks really harsh, especially if people put it on the bottom of their eyes.

Original poster
PandaFox · 28/01/2023 17:00

savoycabbage · 28/01/2023 16:57

I've literally just finished watching a reality tv programme where in the last scene one of the women wasn't wearing make up and was all freckly and I thought to myself how lovely and much younger she looked.

Ahh that's nice. Yes, I think I definitely look younger without all the makeup.

I used to think I was terribly ugly in my teens, but looking back at photos, I really wasn't! I don't want to feel the same about myself now in 10/15 years time.

OP posts:
SpentDandelion · 28/01/2023 17:01

" A face without freckles is like a sky without stars"
Embrace your freckles.

ouch321 · 28/01/2023 17:01

Yes.

I'm v jealous of people who are pretty enough to go out bare faced. It must be amazing. I don't even go downstairs to reception to grab a parcel at home if I'm bare skinned. I put it off till the next day.

savoycabbage · 28/01/2023 17:06

Right, I've been back for screenshots BlushGrin

See! She looks lovely with her freckles.

To feel disgusting without makeup?
To feel disgusting without makeup?
Original poster
PandaFox · 28/01/2023 17:06

ouch321 · 28/01/2023 17:01

Yes.

I'm v jealous of people who are pretty enough to go out bare faced. It must be amazing. I don't even go downstairs to reception to grab a parcel at home if I'm bare skinned. I put it off till the next day.

Yep. There's even been times where I don't answer the door to the postman if I haven't finished my makeup.

Then I have to go and collect it from the depot the next day. Ridiculous!

OP posts:
ForestofD · 28/01/2023 17:08

I haven't worn make up for 20 years. Not to work, parties, anywhere. I do have some lovely Neal's Yard cream which I enjoy applying as it smells so lovely but that's it.

It sounds maybe like you aren't that confident in yourself. Maybe you need to think about working on that? You are right though- kids are like sponges and it's important that, if you have daughters, they don't feel an 'ugly mess' without make up.

I think maybe the issue is not really the make up but how you feel about yourself.