To feel disgusting without makeup?

[PandaFox]

I realise this may sound a little dramatic, however, it would be nice to know if anyone else feels the same and what you have done to overcome it.

I wear makeup 365 days per year.
I will not leave the house without it on.
I've worn it since I was 15 and I am now 35.
I try to avoid my DH seeing me without makeup as much as possible.
I have thought about situations like a house fire/ if we had to evacuate in the middle of the night and all I can think about is the fear of being seen without makeup on. Which I know is utterly ridiculous.
I wear makeup when I'm at home alone (concealer, foundation, powder, blusher, mascara, and eyeliner).
I don't feel "myself" or "fully awake" without it. Similar to having a shower in the morning. It's just something I NEED to do.

Now that I'm mid thirties and TTC, I really don't want to have to worry about this anymore. And one day if I have a daughter I absolutely never want her to feel the way I do.

I think trying to wear a bit less over time is a good start. A few other things to consider trying, OP.

1. One morning, before you put on your make up, take a photo of yourself. Try to make it as flattering as you can in terms of lighting, angle etc. this isn’t supposed to be a “before” shot.

Take the photo. Leave it a few days and then at some point when you have some time and are in a good mood, take a look at it. Try and look at it as though it’s someone different and deliberately think about nice things you could say about how they look. If this is successful, look at that picture everyday, reminding yourself of all those good points.

2. Drive somewhere where there’s unlikely to be anyone, and if there is, they won’t be anyone you know, Countryside is probably a good idea. Take your make up and whatever you need to take your make up off with you. When you’re sure the coast is clear, take your make up off. Get out of the car and walk around. Go back to the car. Put your makeup back on and go home. When you’ve done this somewhere no one will see you, try going somewhere there will be one or two people (maybe somewhere dog walkers go?), again, far enough away that you can be confident you won’t know anyone. And do it there. Get used to people you don’t know seeing you without makeup.

3. Take/leave your make up off at home when you’re on your own. Start off just doing it for 10 minutes and then build that up. If you can get more comfortable with that, confide in a friend who doesn’t wear makeup themselves but is an empathetic person and ask them round while you aren’t wearing any.

I hear you !!

I wear make up all the time too ! I wouldn’t be seen dead without it ! I’ve developed rosace over the last 3 or so years . Which makes be more self conscious. I also have a good skin routine .

Babies don't care how they look, and are beautiful without the need for multi coloured gunge smeared all over them!

I'm so jealous of women with freckles. I have some, but they're not noticeable unless you're super close.

I only wear makeup if I am going to my office or out someplace like a date or to church. And sometimes I don't even wear it to church because I figure God knows what I look like without it. 😁 I used to never leave the house without mascara on because my eyelashes are really short and pathetic but now I get eyelash extensions so I don't even do that anymore. The only thing I wear is lip gloss 99% of the time.

I agree with the others that you should start small but also maybe look into counseling your opinion of yourself is really not typical. I'm sure you look lovely without makeup, but you need to learn to be sure of that, too.

I used to be like this OP but now I’m my 30s, I’m not. Try just round the house at first. Also try just putting on a light foundation / but of bronzer and not doing the eyes. Then try just going for a walk with DH woth that. I still always wear lighter makeup to work but haven’t put any on today and been out with the family. I realised, my DH doesn’t actually notice that much and when I do my full makeup now for dinner, I feel extra nice.

I'm very similar but in my 40s and have gradually come to not give a shit. I posted makeup free selfies every day for the whole month of December on my social media for a challenge (the challenge was a sports thing, nothing to do with makeup, but I didn't wear makeup to do the sport) and I wouldn't have dreamed of that even a few years ago.

One thing that has made a huge difference was getting my eyebrows tattooed. It was very very expensive, i went to the best person I could find in my city, but it was worth every penny. I just look more groomed all the time.

Also ask yourself why the postman would give a shit? I was so self conscious for years, but nobody is even looking at me most of the time. My husband and my own kids don't seem to even notice if I don't put makeup on.

I’d be interested to know what you think would happen if someone saw you without a full face on? I think there’s something rather brittle about a full face of make up in certain settings - especially with foundation which looks ok in photos but very artificial in the daytime. I’m not actually a person who looks great without it naturally but the older I’ve got the less bothered I am about being seen without it. I’d start reducing what I wear - switch out the foundation for a BB cream or tinted moisturiser, add some concealer where you need it and let your skin be seen.

I've worn make up since I was 14/15 and see it as part of getting ready daily. I do it in less than 5 mins and always wore it when ds was a baby too. I think the difference is it wouldn't upset me going out without it .

I used to wear at least some make up everyday, wouldn't be seen dead without mascara, but I largely stopped when we were in lockdown / WFH and just never got back in the habit unless I'm going 'out out'. Sometimes I'll pop a bit of mascara and/or blusher on for work, and I do have my eyebrows tinted as they're nearly blonde and often appear absent in daylight, but that's it.

I initially got some 'are you tired / ill?' questions but only from people who were only accustomed to seeing me in full makeup, those questions have completely stopped now because they're used to what I actually look like, and when I actually do look tired or ill.

I don't think I'm especially pretty, but my Husband does and I came to the realisation that I literally couldn't care less what anyone but he thinks I look like, in the same way I don't give a toss what anyone else looks like. I have friends who I think look lovely in full make-up, but I don't think they look any less lovely without it, just different.

Can you take some small steps OP as suggested? Either drop one product until you get used to that, then drop another? Or use tinted moisturiser/fake tan drops instead of foundation? Or do small errands without any make-up, and then extend that?

If you can afford it maybe some semi-permanent make-up like eyebrow and eyelash tint or tattoo lipstick would help? More expense initially maybe but if it'll save you an hour a day when you have a little one running round could be worth it x

I used to be a massive makeup wearer (full works every day without fail) but Covid, lockdown and working from home has been a huge turning point for me and I now have a very light daytime look but still enjoy getting made up when I go out in the evening. Start small and make gradual changes - if you’re just at home having a lazy morning at the weekend, try and wait until after breakfast before putting your face on, or days your know you won’t be seeing anyone forego the eyeliner - just little changes so you get used to seeing your real self more regularly. Not using foundation was a big change and now only wear a tinted moisturiser during the day but I’ve also weaned myself off eyeshadow and eyeliner except for night’s out.

I still look like shit when I wake up and you won’t get me outside without blusher or mascara but my family know what the real me looks like and don’t bat an eyelid.

Do you think it might help to remove or temporarily cover all the mirrors in your house, save a functional one above the bathroom sink? So you get out of the habit of checking your appearance, and judging yourself. Train yourself not to look when you're about and about - just de-emphasise how you look altogether.

I always wear makeup when I leave the house, I have a lot of acne scarring and other pigmentation. I once forgot as I was in a rush to get to work and one of the children said “What happened to your face?”! For me it’s the same as having clean, presentable hair and having a shower before I interact with others!

However, I’d not have an issue with answering the door, fleeing from a fire or being around my husband and family without it. I do it because I feel more put together - it’s not an integral part of who I am or representative of my worth.

The problem is that once you’ve started wearing it you can’t really go back 🤷‍♀️ It clogs up and ruins your skin.

Actually having my baby cured me of my self-consciousness when not wearing makeup. Still makeup most days but don’t feel I look hideous without it and not embarrassed when my husband sees me bare faced.

To the Op, try not overthink it. If anything, makeup is protecting your skin from UV and other elements.

Nonsense. Less make-up combined with a good skincare routine will quickly result in skin that's better than ever before.

It's strange that you mention this. I've had a shit eye infection/stye for the last 4 weeks and obviously haven't been able to wear any eye makeup. I look absolutely dreadful, tired and washed out. I normally wear makeup daily..... have done since I was 15, and now 68....

@Hepwo

who is smearing multi coloured gunge over themselves??

I doubt op is

I don’t

I’m sure all the women commenting on here don’t

Not having read the full thread, there are potentially deeper issues…

But, a lot of women who maybe son’t wear make up have other things done. For instance, microbladed eyebrows, tattooed lip/eye liner, Botox etc. all makes a difference, especially with confidence and not wearing/doing make up daily.

I love freckles! I used to dot them on my nose in the summer with an eyebrow pencil hoping one day I would get some real ones. I used to love wearing make-up until it hit me one day - how much younger people look without make-up on! But the cultural push on women to wear it is so strong.

I can’t say if this is true for you or not but I really am ugly without makeup. Friends seeing me bare faced for the first time have asked if I’m I’ll and that they wouldn’t have recognised me in the street.

I don’t wear a lot of make up but it makes a huge difference, I dreaded my now husband seeing me without it at the start of our relationship and now he laughs on the days I can’t be bothered (if not going anywhere) & asks where my face has gone. My neighbour saw me a few years ago in the garden not made up and asked if I was ok as I looked so different!

Still won’t go out without it but will answer the door for deliveries.

My skin tone is very sickly looking with visible open pores covering my cheeks and nose, skinny brows thanks to the fashion of the era I grew up in, sparse eyelashes & pink rimmed eyes. With make up I scrub up quite well though and it makes me feel good so why not 🤷‍♀️

I have my lashes done, my brows henna/tint & waxed, but my main achievement has been that I recently started using skin & me and my skin looks amazing. I’m 48 and my skin although the odd wrinkle and little drier it is clear, bright and my pigmentation has all but gone, meaning I can usually only just whip a bit bronzer on only some days due to the brows and lashes I feel “done”

I used to be a bit like this the I had a baby and there was no time for it! It cured my issue!

With respect @Purplepeopleeaterz your dual comments of 'I don't wear a lot of make up' and 'friends wouldn't recognise me in the street' are slightly at odds with each other.

Of course people who see you regularly notice / comment the first time they see you without make-up, but because it's so unusual, not because you look like a troll. You'd comment if a friend suddenly shaved their head or dyed their hair bright pink, but after a while that would just become how they look and you'd start to forget the 'before'.

'Why not' is perfectly fair, but please don't sit in the assumption that you look bad or wrong with a bare face, you only look different.

Everyone looks better with makeup -
its literally what it is designed to do!

OP, I adore that you're already thinking of your future daughter and not wanting her to feel as you do. That's pretty special 😍

Oddly, freckles are why I've never worn makeup. Several times in my early teens I was used as the guinea pig for makeup demos to various groups of girls.

Each time the demonstrator caked me in foundation to obliterate any trace of freckles, painted on a bright red mouth, used mascara that made my eyes water. I looked ridiculous, and it felt awful sitting on my skin. Never again since!

I've wondered if I was always the model because I obviously needed most improvement, or if my messy curls and skinned knees clued disinterest, and it made sense for the Real Girls™ to be able to see the techniques clearly 🤣

I don't even wear moisturiser, I can feel myself sweating under it, it's a horrible smothering feeling. I will wear sunscreen, though I can't wait to wash it off.