To feel disgusting without makeup?

[PandaFox]

I realise this may sound a little dramatic, however, it would be nice to know if anyone else feels the same and what you have done to overcome it.

I wear makeup 365 days per year.
I will not leave the house without it on.
I've worn it since I was 15 and I am now 35.
I try to avoid my DH seeing me without makeup as much as possible.
I have thought about situations like a house fire/ if we had to evacuate in the middle of the night and all I can think about is the fear of being seen without makeup on. Which I know is utterly ridiculous.
I wear makeup when I'm at home alone (concealer, foundation, powder, blusher, mascara, and eyeliner).
I don't feel "myself" or "fully awake" without it. Similar to having a shower in the morning. It's just something I NEED to do.

Now that I'm mid thirties and TTC, I really don't want to have to worry about this anymore. And one day if I have a daughter I absolutely never want her to feel the way I do.

No, not everyone. Especially when you can see all the acne and other things in their skin they’re trying to cover up because it comes through the make up.

What rubbish 😂

If your anxiety about it is getting in the way of your life ( like not being able to answer the door), you need to go to your gp.
I have suffered with anxiety for years and seeking help was the best step I ever took.

@JarOfShapes

eveyone looks better with makeup

they only don’t look better if it’s not been applied well or crap products or whatever

Wow. I can't imagine being in your situation it must be so hard living with the feeling you have to.
In my teens I decided makeup is an The , I felt bad that it is so widely expected and it played a role in my choice of profession (I am in high-skilled client facing role, no makeup, no heels. Noone ever dared to say anything to me.)
I am aware it can be a way to play with one's expression, it can be relaxing or satisfying, so I kind of miss having this simple recreational activity, but I am just alienated from the concept.

I won't say YABU, your personal preference doesn't make the life harder for anyone else than you. However fingers crossed for finding a way to be less dependent on it.

@JarOfShapes

how is it rubbish?
that poster is absolutely right!

I felt like this at 16, and had a birthday sleepover. I was so worried about what I would look like in the morning, and my friends all said they were surprised that I actually didn't look very different!

@QueSyrahSyrah I probably worded it incorrectly in as much as I don’t wear a lot of make up in comparison to the many tutorials on social media.

I don’t feel I look wrong and you are absolutely right I just look different. But nobody will ever convince me I’m very unattractive & do look sickly without it.

@Effortlesslyaverage Can you please post a link/screenshot of the eyebrow and mascara dye you use and the tanning oil you put in your moisturiser? This is what I want to cut down too now

@JarOfShapes Can you explain how my post is 'rubbish' instead of making the statement with nothing to back it up?

Less make-up, good regular skin care with anti-aging if necessary and lashings of SPF will result in better skin for 99.9999% of people.

You're correct in an earlier post that make-up clogs up your skin, but you realise that's not permanent don't you? Hell your skin itself isn't permanent, it sloughs off and renews itself constantly.

OP - that's 5 hours a week. 260 hours a year. Isn't there something you'd rather be doing with that time?

OP, I managed to wean myself down from never leaving the house without it to successfully going to the post box or the Aldi up the road with nothing on. I took it step by step, removing a product each time, and as PPs have said, discovered that no-one recoiled in horror or frankly even noticed. My preference is still to wear it if I'm heading out out, or to work, but it's reframed in my head now as want not need. It might feel very uncomfortable to start with, but it is doable and the more you do it the more you realise that ultimately 99.999999% of people don't give the slightest shit about what your face looks like!

I only ever wore make up when I got married and that felt weird to me lol

Try not wearing make up in front of your husband and see if he notices but don't say anything to prompt him

Thanks everyone. I feel better reading all of the replies.

I do think I have some other issues with the way I look which probably feeds into the makeup thing. I always thought I was fat (I wasn't) and always thought I was ugly (which looking back I can clearly see I wasn't).

Having red hair and glasses as a child probably comes into it! I wear contacts now and my hair is very dark auburn. I dyed it a lot in my twenties which has probably ruined the condition slightly too.

I had an ovarian cyst removed last may and was in no fit state to put makeup on after my operation. I still took my whole kit with me and tried not to look anyone in the eye when I was barefaced. I realise that's really sad and if any of my family/ friends felt that way I'd feel sorry for them and do my best to reassure them.

That poster is right though. Your skin is alive, the cells turn over and regenerate. It's perfectly possible to improve it.

Do you think you have exactly the same skin cells for your entire life?

I haven't worn make-up for most of my life, and I'm 63. The last time was probably on my wedding day over 30 years ago, and it was the most minimal amount possible. I've never been pretty, and find it sad that one poster envies people who are "pretty enough to go out bare faced". It's not a question of being pretty, more of being confident about yourself.

Incidentally, I had freckles as a child but they disappeared - I often wish I still had them!

Anyway, I wish you luck and think you are on the right track regarding any future daughters.

@Tiredofbeingcold

Strictly Professional Eyelash & Eyebrow Dye Tint Basic Tinting Kit Tint Lash (Eyelash Tint Brown-15g SPE7510) - Tint only, no developer amzn.eu/d/bBFF9Fi

This is the one I've been buying recently which is less than £5 that's only the tint though. I started out buying a whole kit years ago, I think the one I had was by eyelure which at the time included a mascara wand, a small glass pot to mix in, the eyebrow tint and the developer/ activator. Now I buy this tint as that runs out fastest (still only about once a year). You can buy a developer liquid separately too it comes up as suggested when you look at this. Just wipe it off if you get it on your face so it doesn't stain and don't get it in your eyes.

The tanning drops I've bought are Tan-Luxe The Face illuminating self tan drops which are currently £14.90 on Amazon. I've only started this recently and it's cheered up my winter face no end and no orange! I put a drop or two in moisturiser and moisturise my whole face and neck.

Tan Luxe THE FACE Self Tan Drops, Medium (10 ml) Add Tanning Drops to Skin Care for Custom Face Tan, Cruelty Free & Vegan amzn.eu/d/e0sAH10

OP, I’m exactly the same , and I’m now in my early 60s. I have no intention of changing, and don’t see going ‘ bare faced ‘ as something virtuous. I feel horrible without my makeup and can’t concentrate on anything. I also hate my DP seeing my bare face. I don’t have any wrinkles or major issues with my skin, it’s just how I am.

I have never worn a lot of make up. When I was working I would wear a little but now I’m retired I never wear any. I don’t think I’m that pretty,I’m just used to seeing my face without it.

I used to be exactly like this op. I'm only 27 so my skin is "ok" but quite fair so I can look dead without anything to give it colour😂

When I had my ds I gradually started wearing less because I just didn't have the time, I started cutting out the bronzer and eyeliner and now all I wear is a tinted moisturiser mascara and brow gel.

It helps if you develop a good skin care routine so you have a good base and maybe start tinting your brows and lashes at home so you feel more put together if you don't have the time to do eyebrows and mascara?

I used to feel this way and honestly lockdown did me a favour. I got so used to not wearing it that I overcome that fear. Often go make up free now. Well maybe still a bit of eyebrow pencil, I'm not a monster 🤣

I feel like I should have taken the opportunity to do this during lockdown! At the time, I just didn't realise how much it was affecting me (and I had a lot more time to spend on doing my makeup...)

I'm the same OP , there are occasions I don't have makeup on if I have a lot to do in the house and I know I won't be going anywhere but I feel horrible and the same as I would if I hadn't washed . I have had 3 children and still managed to keep it up but it does annoy me now more than ever, I don't have the same enjoyment in doing my makeup that I used to, it's a chore and I just do it because it's as much part of getting ready as showering and brushing my teeth are.
I have worn makeup most days since I was about 13 and I have always had comments about looking ill or 'different', I have pale skin , freckles , long but fair eyelashes and green eyes , but this against my dark hair I feel makes me look washed out and featureless .

I have recently thought about getting some semi permanent beauty treatments - lash tint/lift , eyebrows dyed , face tan to gradually help wean myself off the makeup.

Yeah there’s some really misogynistic vitriol in the language used by some - smeared on grunge, caked on, nonsense warnings about ‘clogged up’ damaged skin, assertions that you wont care about anything so silly once you’ve fulfilled your proper womanly purpose of motherhood etc. All comes from the tired old narrative that if women enjoy or are interested in something it must be superficial and worthy of mockery. It’s not just the OP who needs to think about her attitude to about makeup…….