To feel disgusting without makeup?

[PandaFox]

I realise this may sound a little dramatic, however, it would be nice to know if anyone else feels the same and what you have done to overcome it.

I wear makeup 365 days per year.
I will not leave the house without it on.
I've worn it since I was 15 and I am now 35.
I try to avoid my DH seeing me without makeup as much as possible.
I have thought about situations like a house fire/ if we had to evacuate in the middle of the night and all I can think about is the fear of being seen without makeup on. Which I know is utterly ridiculous.
I wear makeup when I'm at home alone (concealer, foundation, powder, blusher, mascara, and eyeliner).
I don't feel "myself" or "fully awake" without it. Similar to having a shower in the morning. It's just something I NEED to do.

Now that I'm mid thirties and TTC, I really don't want to have to worry about this anymore. And one day if I have a daughter I absolutely never want her to feel the way I do.

Yes she does! She looks great in both pics, but I'd say she looks better in the first without makeup. I want to feel like that!

It sounds like you just need to start getting used to your bare face again- if you nearly always see yourself wearing makeup, of course your face is going to look “wrong” with out it! I would start with maybe trying a few bare faced days at home, maybe go out in the garden and take a few nice selfies in the sun- natural light and a bare face can look so lovely.

I wonder if getting more invested in a skin care routine might help give you a confidence boost too?

I have to say though, my younger sister has loads of beautiful freckles and I’ve always been furiously jealous of them! (She’s also the same height as me yet somehow has legs that are 2 inches longer, the bitch 😂)

Everyone is pretty enough to go bare faced! The beauty industry (and men) has done a number on us making women feel they aren't complete if they don't wear makeup.

I can take it or leave it, I think I look fine without but at the same time I absolutely love the process of putting on makeup, I find it relaxing. So I wear it sometimes and sometimes not. Always to the office, even though never at home and everyone sees me without on teams!

I think you need to do a bit of exposure therapy - lighter foundation, one less product, and persevere through the discomfort you feel. If you don't you will never crack it.

You're describing a bit of dysmorphia about the way you look, so it might be worth exploring some sort of treatment for anxiety.

I’m not pretty at all. I’m pretty ugly in fact. I rarely wear make up though, because I think how pretty or otherwise my face is is the least interesting thing about me. I’m a good person, interesting, well read, have lots of friends, wonderful children and a good job. My face doesn’t change any of those things.

This. You say you look tired and ugly without, but do you think that about every single person you see who isn't wearing it?

A friend of mine once told me I was 'lucky you don't need to wear makeup.' She's wrong. She doesn't need to either - she's allowed to want to of course, but she frames it as need. It's just that she isn't used to what she looks like. As long as she frames it as need, nothing will change

You just look different without it and you aren't used to it. I wear it once in a blue moon. I always get a lot of compliments when I do as people are so used to me looking like shit most of the time 😄

I gave up make up over a decade ago. It was always smudged under my eyes making me look ridiculous and I just thought in the end what a stupid idea it is.

It did take a while to get used to my face without it.

My skin is much clearer, no wrinkles due to the drying and clogging and no styes on my eyes.

I think the whole make up industry is bizzare. I once went to a make up demo in a shop and got sold a mass of stuff, all purple and blue. I put it on at home and my DH said it looked like I had a couple of black eyes. Never used it again.

No more! It's a waste of life!

I used to wear make up every day. 2020 cured me. It was pointless putting my face on to stay home.

I’m used to my bare face now and enjoy using make up more than I ever did as I only wear it to go to the office or for a special occasion or night out.

I have thought about situations like a house fire/ if we had to evacuate in the middle of the night and all I can think about is the fear of being seen without makeup on.

Get a grip OP!

I love freckles.
( I have freckles so am biased !) even the word is bloody beautiful
Embrace the freckles !!!!

Stop saying things like 'I need to get a grip' - that is bullying. Would you say that to a friend who told you about a concern?

Take a little to time to accept yourself. You are a person who feels they need to wear make up, that you do not look OK without make up. You would like this to change but are not sure how to change it right now.

That is where you are just now (sorry if I have got this wrong in some way, that was my paraphrasing).

Could you start reading about this, buy a book or look online? Or could you afford to see a counsellor about this, to help you understand where these feelings come from?

You don't have to get from where you are today to make up free in one step.

If you have done something every day for 20 years it takes a little time to break that habit. But definitely you can change. Just considering a change you want to make is a really powerful thing.

I'm absolutely sure you look lovely without makeup, and weaning yourself off it will work over time. However, I would suggest you don't take away the eye makeup first but reduce the foundation etc. The difference in your eyes will be most apparent, like you've said; reducing your skin camouflage and learning to love your freckles will give you such a boost you'll end up not bothering! Also as your skin improves from getting air to it you'll see the difference. Maybe treat yourself to some special skin care, maybe try just a tinted moisturiser for a bit... enjoy your little one, when they come!

I have a friend who always wears makeup. Not plastered in it or looking awful but always full makeup. I once saw her without it and thought how pretty she looked without it.

You probably don't look awful without it, you just think you do. Have you ever had therapy/counselling about this?

I've got no advice but just want to say you're not alone. I can't even look people in the eye if I have no makeup on. X

I don't think you can blame men for women putting on make-up! Most men I know hate when women are caked in too much make- up!

@Mayalinaballerina

not true
I know lots of mums who continue to wear makeup just as they did before
if something is important to you, you make the time

OP, I’m exactly the same as you. It made me dread uni, panicking about what would happen if there was a fire drill in the middle of the night.

I’ve had 2 children, still wear the same amount of make up, but I’m much quicker at applying it.

I do actually enjoy doing my make up though, so we do differ slightly. I’ve accepted I’ll probably always want to wear it, so have accepted it, rather than worrying about it.

Are there somethings you could do, like a lash lift or eyelash extensions that would help? I love how I look with mascara and find that having eyelashes on makes me look super awake - it might make you feel like you've got makeup on without actually any makeup?

Then you could perhaps skip blush, or move from a foundation to a tinted BB cream (so you've still got the process of putting on makeup without covering your freckles like normal so you'll get used to seeing them on your face?) and go slightly more natural.

I was similar - when I met my DH I used to wear a full face every single day, rain or shine - I'd have false eyelashes and a smokey eye to sit in the house!! Now I'm a mascara / lash extension and bit of cream highlighter and it's done sort of person 80% of the time. I actually enjoy doing makeup now because it's no longer a daily chore and I can do it when I want to! My skin is actually much better too tbh. I have very pink cheeks and used to cover my face to hide them, but I've managed to accept them now and wonder why I used to cover them in foundation then slap on blush to re create them 😂 it's a process OP!

This is me too..I can’t bear to be without lipstick as I have really pale lips and I look dead without it..I wear it constantly..shower, swimming, to bed. Everywhere all the time, I must top up at least 10 times a day. I’m now looking into getting semi permanent lipstick done so I can relax a bit on that front! But I still have to wear makeup every day of my life, I’ve tried to go without when I’m just at home but the second I look in a mirror I’m running to put it on! I think a big part of it is that it’s my “armour” to face the world and I feel vulnerable without it on. Would love to not be this way but after 30 odd years of wearing makeup I don’t think I’m going to change!

Yeah, I know. Trying.

TBH, I've always thought that very few people are truly beautiful or ugly. The vast majority are fairly ordinary looking

OP, I'm sure you look absolutely fine without make up. it's just not what you're used to

Next time you go somewhere new, perhaps try without make up.you may feel less self conscious if you're not with people you know

I have very dark undereye circles and a very pale face. I never wear makeup at home but I always wear concealer when out and about. All of these posters saying they don't wear any makeup ever. That's great, but I have had comments from strangers ( and so called friends!) About how ill I look if I don't wear concealer under my eyes. I've also been called a drug addict. Don't try to shame people who have to wear makeup just so they don't get nasty comments. I wish freckles were the only thing "wrong" with my face!

Oh op! I'm sure you look absolutely fine without it. I used to be like this although perhaps not as extreme. Could you dedicate some time to looking after your skin, focus on having lovely healthy glowy skin and reduce the "need" for makeup (in your eyes)?

A practical solution, which I've done, is semi permanent makeup. I've got eyeliner and eyebrows and I look 10x better with no makeup on just for having a bit of definition. It's natural and not harsh and looks equally nice with/without makeup. Might make you a bit more open to not needing everything else?

This is me too. I didn’t think it was that unusual! Thankfully, my makeup routine only takes about 3 minutes (eye liner, concealer under my eyes, and a quick dab of matte powder on my forehead to avoid shinyness). Even with a newborn, I don’t think there was ever a day I missed out on my routine. If you use a ton of makeup, it might be nice to pare it down a bit, but you don’t need to give up on it entirely with kids if you don’t want to!

Now that I'm mid thirties and TTC, I really don't want to have to worry about this anymore.

Oh, once you have a baby you won't...

Try going out for short periods without any makeup, buy milk or whatever. You'll be astounded at the fact that nobody recoils in horror and no children run screaming. And I guarantee you don't look as bad barefaced as I do.