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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find DH's fawning over our cat irritating?

154 replies

Notjusta · 28/01/2023 10:36

DH really fawns over our cat. It gives me the ick. He's really soppy about it, but not in a lively, upbeat silly voice way - more in a slow, serious, intense way. He uses a slightly nauseating 'soft' voice and strokes her really slowly with his head tilted on one side. I know IABU but.... bleugh.

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 28/01/2023 16:31

BlueKaftan · 28/01/2023 11:12

“Vespy cat, Vespy cat, she was thin but now she’s fat!”

Adelweis tune?

Killingmytime · 28/01/2023 16:32

Yabu.
I love my dp fawning over our pets.

GloriAAAH · 28/01/2023 16:33

I imagined every cat wo/man did this, hate them!

IheardYouButDontWantToAnswer · 28/01/2023 16:35

YABU. I had cats for 40 years, and loved them. The last one died last October, and I absolutely adored him, like a baby.

MissBattleaxe · 28/01/2023 18:27

I won't go on holiday for more than a week because I miss my cats so much it makes me miserable. We have four so every time you go into a room there's one waiting for you. I had three on my lap last night and I had to fully recline the sofa so they could all fit on. I couldn't see the telly but I didn't care.

MNbingo · 28/01/2023 18:46

I talk Gangsta to my chihuahua and she understands everything I say.

ilovesooty · 28/01/2023 19:18

I have long conversations with my two every day.

They come running when I get home and they hear "Mum's back". They understand "Right" "Teatime" "Bedtime" and "Dreamies".

Coxspurplepippin · 28/01/2023 21:59

DH just kissed the cat, who is sitting on the back of the sofa, on the forehead. With a 'mwahh'. Grin

Allthelego · 29/01/2023 00:40

@JudgeRudy It’s not that tune but I did just spend the last 5 minutes trying it with her. I think she likes it both ways.

JaceLancs · 29/01/2023 00:56

We have 2 Dcats I love one dearly and am besotted with the other
thankfully DS is besotted with the love dearly one and DP loves all cats
I joke about it but do get a tad jealous when besotted cat favours someone else

Orangepolentacake · 29/01/2023 01:11

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/695269198018092/?ref=sharewww.facebook.com/groups/695269198018092/?ref=share&exp=9594" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This cat is Jolene

ThinWomansBrain · 29/01/2023 01:41

YABVU poor cat.

Clara84 · 29/01/2023 01:42

If he's being a bit George Galloway about your cat then I get it and eurghhhhh.

Downunderduchess · 29/01/2023 01:46

Animallover87 · 28/01/2023 10:48

It would make me more attracted to him.

I agree with this! I think it’s lovely that he loves his cat & isn’t afraid of showing it!

My cat used to love me singing to him, I can’t really hold a tune, but he looked at me like I was freaking Pavarotti or something. My dog didn’t feel the same way 😂

Ericaequites · 29/01/2023 01:49

Dogs have owners; cats have staff.

NameChangeToVent · 29/01/2023 02:07

@LuckySantangelo35

one of my cats rushes to offer comfort whenever someone is crying. Exceedingly stupid animal, but very emotionally empathetic.

girlcat is very talkative, inquisitive & always wants me to play with her. Both of them follow me room to room and fight amongst themselves to sit on me

Agapornis · 29/01/2023 02:32

How are we supposed to judge without a photo of the darling pusspuss?

What are the topics of conversation that are so slow, serious, intense?

EllieM27 · 29/01/2023 03:07

@Notjusta Oh I know exactly what you mean and it is revolting! It’s this weird intimate tone and the way they speak is not singsong or silly baby talk like you would to an animal (and like everyone here is describing) but more slow, tender words and tone. It really is lover-like as someone else said.

It’s only men that seem to do it and it is gross. It would absolutely give me the ick. I would not be able to sleep with a man that was doing that intimate, sensual murmuring thing to an animal instead of normal silly baby talk to them. Nope nope nope.

Most people either didn’t read your description or are lucky enough to have never witnessed this. Let them live in innocence, these sweet summer children. Grin

Furries · 29/01/2023 04:50

EllieM27 · 29/01/2023 03:07

@Notjusta Oh I know exactly what you mean and it is revolting! It’s this weird intimate tone and the way they speak is not singsong or silly baby talk like you would to an animal (and like everyone here is describing) but more slow, tender words and tone. It really is lover-like as someone else said.

It’s only men that seem to do it and it is gross. It would absolutely give me the ick. I would not be able to sleep with a man that was doing that intimate, sensual murmuring thing to an animal instead of normal silly baby talk to them. Nope nope nope.

Most people either didn’t read your description or are lucky enough to have never witnessed this. Let them live in innocence, these sweet summer children. Grin

I don’t think the OP has confirmed the “tone” that you’re implying here.

Sherwil16 · 29/01/2023 06:23

My cat started showing an interest in my singing when I used to da da da along to the beginning of Bake Off. Whatever she was doing, or even if asleep, she would run over to me and leap on the settee arm to nuzzle and tap me. Currently I have been playing and singing Fleetwood Mac and Crosby Stills Nash and Young songs after the recent deaths of Christine McVie and David Crosby and she is equally drawn to demonstate her admiration - or is she tapping me to stop? I'm going for the positive response.

Original poster
Notjusta · 29/01/2023 09:09

Furries · 29/01/2023 04:50

I don’t think the OP has confirmed the “tone” that you’re implying here.

Show quote history

OMG YES!!! Thank you @EllieM27 - my powers of description failed me clearly, but what you say is exactly right. Everyone else here is describing entirely normal behaviour with their pets, and things I do with my cat all the time. Funny voices, singing, babying etc - all completely fine. What you've said hits the nail on the head perfectly. It's gross.

OP posts:
inloveandmarried · 29/01/2023 09:24

It's quite an intense bond. It's so special they have this. I only had this bond once and refuse to bond again. Too painful when they depart.

Don't get me wrong, I have lots of cats that are very soppy and adored.

Ronnie2022 · 29/01/2023 12:05

Notjusta · 29/01/2023 09:09

OMG YES!!! Thank you @EllieM27 - my powers of description failed me clearly, but what you say is exactly right. Everyone else here is describing entirely normal behaviour with their pets, and things I do with my cat all the time. Funny voices, singing, babying etc - all completely fine. What you've said hits the nail on the head perfectly. It's gross.

Show quote history

Hmmmmm yeah that is weird , deeply !

JamieFrasersSassenach · 29/01/2023 12:14

BlueKaftan · 28/01/2023 10:38

I make up songs about my cat and sing them to her. 😂

I thought everyone did this.....?

LadyOfTheCanyon · 29/01/2023 12:22

CeratopsofthePharoahs · 28/01/2023 10:56

I miss my cat. I adored her and she treated me with thinly veiled contempt, which is how it's supposed to go.

This is absolutely standard human/ cat interface. I think it's in a manual somewhere.

I miss my boy so much. He absolutely adored my husband. I was just about tolerated despite being the person who bought his food, paid his insurance, changed his litter and made up songs for him. 🐈‍⬛