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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find DH's fawning over our cat irritating?

154 replies

Notjusta · 28/01/2023 10:36

DH really fawns over our cat. It gives me the ick. He's really soppy about it, but not in a lively, upbeat silly voice way - more in a slow, serious, intense way. He uses a slightly nauseating 'soft' voice and strokes her really slowly with his head tilted on one side. I know IABU but.... bleugh.

OP posts:
userhjf67 · 28/01/2023 11:55

Dd dad (my ex) got a cat a few years ago, when she's on FaceTime to dd he talk to the cat and say "hey kitty come to daddy" it gives me the serious ick and makes me want to vomit

I don't think I could but up with a guy doing that

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 28/01/2023 11:55

BlueKaftan · 28/01/2023 10:38

I make up songs about my cat and sing them to her. 😂

Those mad cat owners who like to sing to their cat (me included) might like this. It’s hilarious.

www.amazon.co.uk/Cat-Songs-other-feline-favourites/dp/1977837441/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1NV3H5Y2B2LVH&keywords=songs+to+sing+to+your+cat&qid=1674906800&sprefix=Songs+to+sing+t%2Caps%2C129&sr=8-1

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 28/01/2023 11:58

TroysMammy · 28/01/2023 10:55

As much as it slightly annoys me as evidenced on our cctv our cat sits on the fence around 5pm waiting for my partner to come home when I'm in work. He doesn't wait for me. He goes to him when he wants to play and he sits on his lap!

My role is to buy him food, take him to the vet, deflea and worm him, change his litter tray and provide his early morning entertainment when I'm on the toilet.

Ahh, that was the same with my old cat and DS. Catboy loved DS because he just did fun stuff of play and fusses whereas I suspect Catboy just saw me (who actually idolised him!) as the one with the brush, the flea treatments, putting him in the carrier for vet trips etc and I don't think he gave two hoots for me really. When the time sadly came for Catboy to be pts, DS was working overseas so as I stroked him gently at the end I spoke DS name so he'd at least drift off with happy thoughts of the one he preferred.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 28/01/2023 12:04

We've had songs and rhymes for our cats, and talk all sorts of nonsense at them.

When I met DH my first cat was still alive, and if she hadn't liked him he'd have been gone! Luckily they got on well after a sightly rocky start where he turfed her off a chair - she came straight back and pointedly lay on his chest.

StarDolphins · 28/01/2023 12:04

In a world full of animal abuse, this is just lovely! This is how all animals should be treated!

My DDog is 11 next month & I’m always talking to him about his birthday “do you want salmon? Steak? I also spend a large amount of time cuddling him, telling him how much I love him😂

LuckySantangelo35 · 28/01/2023 12:14

all these people that are in love with their cats…

could you explain why?

yes they are cute looking but most cats are extremely self centred and only want to be around humans for food, they come and go as they please, and can turn and scratch at people for no apparent reason.

I admire and am bemused by this level of brass entitlement but it wouldn’t make me all goo goo ga ga over such an animal.

is there something I am missing when it comes to cats??

Mariposista · 28/01/2023 12:15

Afraid I am like this with the dog. Dog definitely gets a better greeting/goodbye than the humans 🤣🐾

Original poster
Notjusta · 28/01/2023 12:15

Insertusernamehere123 · 28/01/2023 11:51

Thats you told OP.

Show quote history

Indeed. The kids are being put up for adoption as we speak.

OP posts:
emily01bristol · 28/01/2023 12:17

my ex-husband used to have a cat bed on a stand so his cat could sleep next to his face. When I was giving birth he gave me a present which turned out to be a book full of photos of the cat. The midwife and I were both a little stunned. He then had an affair and left the cat with me as he and the new woman decided they were more into chihuahuas.

Thankful every day he’s my ex husband!!

LakeTiticaca · 28/01/2023 12:21

I think you and I are married to the same man OP 🤣🤣

GizaBiza · 28/01/2023 12:23

SHOW US YOUR PUSSY. Then we can make our minds up.

justcouldntthinkofausername · 28/01/2023 12:24

Bless him

neverbeenskiing · 28/01/2023 12:29

LuckySantangelo35 · 28/01/2023 12:14

all these people that are in love with their cats…

could you explain why?

yes they are cute looking but most cats are extremely self centred and only want to be around humans for food, they come and go as they please, and can turn and scratch at people for no apparent reason.

I admire and am bemused by this level of brass entitlement but it wouldn’t make me all goo goo ga ga over such an animal.

is there something I am missing when it comes to cats??

I don't recognise my cat in your description at all. She is hugely affectionate and always wants cuddles or for us to play with her, it's definitely not just linked to food.

This time last year I was very, very unwell and had to be off work for several weeks. I spent most of that time in bed. This will sound completely mad, but I swear she knew something was wrong with me. She never left my side the whole time. Once I started getting better, she gradually started going out more again.

ghostyslovesheets · 28/01/2023 12:30

@BlueKaftan yup I do this to all six of them - then I ask them if they liked it as I wrote it just for them - I get slightly offended if they don’t reply!
’ I like kittens they don’t wear mittens they have tiny toe beans and their claws are quite mean’

they also have different ‘voices’ when I talk for them - one sounded a lot like Borat - I miss him

i sound quiet mad!

LimeTreeGrove · 28/01/2023 12:31

I see what you mean op. Doting on a cat and talking to it in silly voices = normal, talking to it like a lover = ick

ghostyslovesheets · 28/01/2023 12:32

yes they are cute looking but most cats are extremely self centred and only want to be around humans for food, they come and go as they please, and can turn and scratch at people for no apparent reason

this is why - I don’t like needy men or pets! Plus it’s an odd sense of accomplishment if they sit on your lap once in a blue moon

RainyReadingDay · 28/01/2023 12:37

Our cat thinks he's king in our house. He gets to sleep on the sofa or our bed, and yet thinks it highly amusing to bite us on the legs whenever we dare to sit at the dining table, even if not a mealtime. He's a bit of an arsehole, and we love him dearly. The house would feel very empty without him.

ferneytorro · 28/01/2023 12:39

daisychain01 · 28/01/2023 11:26

Jeez so you're comparing the OPs husband to Hitler a mass murdering psychopath who is the exception not the rule. You need your head testing.

Show quote history

That was a leap! No, she/he isn't - she/he is challenging the assertion that all men who love animals are good people. Saying someone needs their head testing is vile by the way. But even more so when you are missing the point.

moita · 28/01/2023 12:40

I'm like this with our hamster to be honest. It's pathetic

BlockedbyHfromSteps · 28/01/2023 12:42

LuckySantangelo35 · 28/01/2023 12:14

all these people that are in love with their cats…

could you explain why?

yes they are cute looking but most cats are extremely self centred and only want to be around humans for food, they come and go as they please, and can turn and scratch at people for no apparent reason.

I admire and am bemused by this level of brass entitlement but it wouldn’t make me all goo goo ga ga over such an animal.

is there something I am missing when it comes to cats??

I heard a vet on the radio once taking about cats being the most misunderstood animal. People compare them with dogs as pets but the vet said that cats are much more of a step closer to a “wild” animal than dogs are. So of course they will come and go as they please.

Despite this, they can be very affectionate if they choose to be and the only reason cats will scratch or bite you is if you’ve misread the warning signs they were already trying to communicate to you. (Flattened ears/tail swishing wildly/eyes wide etc)

people definitely misunderstand cats a lot. They like routine, they like being around humans if they’re cared for. But as lone hunters and not naturally part of a pack, they can survive pretty well on their own as it is part of their genetic make up. But pets they are and should be treated with care and love the same as you would a dog.

they all have different personalities just like dogs do.

PortiasBiscuit · 28/01/2023 12:42

We have 5 cats and two children. If we ever had a house fire I know who my husband would be rescuing!

BruceAndNosh · 28/01/2023 12:44

Your husband just loves a bit of pussy

Foxywood · 28/01/2023 12:50

Does he deal with food bowls and litter tray?

unclebuck · 28/01/2023 12:52

I talk to my cat in a Russian accent and also relate her replies to my teenagers. It is the only way to have a sensible conversation in my house tbh

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 28/01/2023 13:00

yes they are cute looking but most cats are extremely self centred and only want to be around humans for food, they come and go as they please, and can turn and scratch at people for no apparent reason.

None of my cats are anything like that 🤷🏻‍♀️

They all actively seek affection. They only scratch if you don't read their body language and continue to irritate them when they've clearly shown they dislike it.

I also like that, with most cats, you have to earn their trust. I've been cat-sitting one for a year and it's only a couple of weeks ago that she decided to trust me enough to sit on my lap.