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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nuts on school trip abroad

170 replies

Ellie09ellie · 27/01/2023 17:41

My daughter is due to go on a school trip abroad in the next week. She is 14. We have just had a message to say no buts on the coach as a child has an airborne allergy. They are also having to ask the hotel to become nut free for the duration of their stay. Is this actually possible or even reasonable given that it's a hotel? My daughter is vegetarian and a lot of her food has nuts in it. Is it unreasonable to expect that after paying quite a bit of money that she gets to eat decent food and not live of chips for a week? I get that it's an allergy that could kill but surely the parents weighed up the issues before sending their child on a trip with 50 other children to a foreign country? Has anyone else been in this position? Thank you

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 27/01/2023 19:14

It's a school trip.

Surely the whole point is to reject foreign food as weird, enjoy being without your parents telling you what to eat, and live entirely on chips and crisps for the duration?

Simonjt · 27/01/2023 19:14

So your daughter only eats nuts and chips at the moment, well thats her choice to limit her diet so much, the other pupil hasn’t chosen to have a potentially deadly allergy.

Zwellers · 27/01/2023 19:33

Does that literally mean that child never goes out in case a nut is in the vicinity. Somehow I doubt it

neighboursmustliveon · 27/01/2023 19:37

I'm vegetarian and can live easily without nuts (I love nuts). If it was to save someone's life? Without quest that is more important!

freez · 27/01/2023 19:41

Jees get a grip.

berksandbeyond · 27/01/2023 19:43

Your child chose to be a vegetarian, the other child did not choose to be allergic to nuts.

As an aside I doubt the hotel will agree to be nut free if they are also open to the public.

but YABU

Littlegoth · 27/01/2023 19:45

@UmmmBopDeeDooWhop my child is allergic to cashew.

I am so scared that he will have a severe allergic reaction due to someone being a selfish dickhead and refusing to avoid eating the one thing that could kill my child.

@Ellie09ellie It’s not a massive ordeal for your daughter to find something else to eat that week.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 27/01/2023 19:45

AudreyBabs · 27/01/2023 18:52

A nut free trip - I think that rules you out as a volunteer.

😂

YukoandHiro · 27/01/2023 19:46

You are being phenomenally unreasonable. An airborne allergy is really dangerous. One week without nuts is not dangerous or even an issue for your child at all.

Zwicky · 27/01/2023 19:48

Does that literally mean that child never goes out in case a nut is in the vicinity. Somehow I doubt it

Imagine you are the teacher. You are at work. It is your job to unrelenting take charge of a large group of teenagers who are not your own. Some of the time you are in a hotel, some of the time you are on a coach, some of the time you are eating a hotel made lunch out of paper bags in a visitors centre. Some of the kids are arsing around, people are travel sick, having asthma attacks, falling out with their mates, getting overtired and stroppy, shoplifting from the gift shop, sneaking into each others rooms, sleeping in, refusing to get dressed, losing their passports, forgetting to pack their toothbrush, unexpectedly needing tampons or a phone charger. One of these kids has a medical condition which may mean they die, or it may mean a hospital stay that would take a member of staff away from the rest of the group. Would you minimise risk for the duration of the trip or say “fuck it, the brat has been outdoors before, I give zero shits”. It would be like confiscating all the antihistamines and asthma inhalers at the beginning of the trip and chucking them in the bin at school and then being shocked that your job is now terrible and coroners inquest worthy instead of merely something to be exhaustingly got through.

YukoandHiro · 27/01/2023 19:50

@ensayers what's your point? I'm guessing that was a while ago and both the law and inclusion policy have massively changed in that time. As have the number of children with allergies. So that kind of reaction won't happen anymore.
What WILL cancel the trip and ruin it for everyone is parents like the OP.

freezingpompoms · 27/01/2023 19:51

I actually don't think anyone in the history of Mumsnet has ever been more unreasonable than you are being right now OP.

Ohhiho · 27/01/2023 19:53

Oh wow, OP. YABU.

GracieLouFreeebush · 27/01/2023 19:56

Margarita45 · 27/01/2023 18:51

Jesus. As a parent of a child with a nut allergy you’re not just being unreasonably you’re being utterly abhorrent. Are you suggesting the child doesn’t go on the trip so your DC can eat nuts? Where does that stop, shall they stop going to school too? Or maybe just not go outdoors.

also on the hotel, Europe is miles ahead of UK with this stuff.

I want to start juggling knives so I suggest if you don’t want to be killed by a knife falling on you then you stay indoors, because my desire to juggle is more important than your desire to survive.

Ethelfromnumber73 · 27/01/2023 19:56

On the off chance that this isn't just an attempt to start a vegetarian-bashing thread, of course YABU. Your daughter will cope. Tbh unless it's a school trip to Asia, I'm not sure how much foreign vegetarian cuisine is based on nuts.

Chattydolls · 27/01/2023 19:57

As a vegetarian with a nut allergy yabVu! There’s countless other (healthy!) food options for your child for one week.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/01/2023 19:58

Hasn't anybody thrown in the 'Ah, but what if the OP hasn't mentioned her daughter has ARFID?' trump card yet?

Myotherusernamesafunnyone · 27/01/2023 19:58

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU

OriginalUsername2 · 27/01/2023 19:59

YABU

I was vegan for a few years and never ate a nut!

serinam · 27/01/2023 20:00

One week of "crap" food won't kill your child.
Nuts could kill their classmate.

MrsMikeDrop · 27/01/2023 20:01

CeeceeBloomingdale · 27/01/2023 17:43

Is it reasonable that another kid dies as your DD likes nuts?

This. Give your head a wobble OP

Holidayhomehell · 27/01/2023 20:01

The word you are looking for here OP is COMPROMISE.

Your DD can go on the trip and have delicious food that does not contain nuts, and the child with the nut allergy can also go and have food that is safe for them
in an environment that is safe as possible.

You sound incredibly selfish, self centred and lacking in empathy.

Holidayhomehell · 27/01/2023 20:04

@Simonjt no, it means that a child away in a trip without parents is able to go and feel that some of the risks are reduced.

I would be surprised if a hotel can be nut free, but also super impressed if they can. Will depend on whether there are other paying guests too.

Teachers can also relax a little knowing not lots of nuts around. Doesn’t mean everyone can drop their guard, but does reduce some of the risks, which in the circumstances will help everyone.

Indigoshift · 27/01/2023 20:05

I doubt OP will be back.

TheHauntedPencilCase · 27/01/2023 20:05

Servalan · 27/01/2023 19:12

I've been a vegetarian all my life and can categorically state that there are a wealth of nutritious vegetarian dishes that don't contain nuts.

I'm no longer veggie but the only thing I cook with nuts in is stir fry or curry.....I want more veggie nut recipes as I clearly vegetarianed badly!

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