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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

807 replies

Nimbostratus100 · 27/01/2023 16:41

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

OP posts:
TinyArsePhone · 27/01/2023 16:43

How long ago was he told he couldn't use the skateboard inside the building?

Would he be kicked out if the accident had happened outside where he was allowed to use it?

Lockheart · 27/01/2023 16:45

I've never heard of anyone being expelled from anywhere for an accident.

The use of grandmother is irrelevant, unless she's his grandmother.

He shouldn't have had the skateboard but that's a separate thing to the accident. He should be reprimanded for having the skateboard, not punished for the accident.

Flamingogirl08 · 27/01/2023 16:45

It was an accident of course he shouldn't be expelled

Cileymyrus · 27/01/2023 16:46

Was he in the building or outside it leaving? It’s not clear.

he’s 12. I wouldn’t be kicking him out. Written warning with expulsion if he’s caught again.

possibly a skateboard ban for him anywhere on the grounds.

Mardyface · 27/01/2023 16:46

Eliteness of sports club irrelevant. Quality of boy's playing irrelevant.

Was he he skateboarding in the specific place he was told not to? Was he skating in a careless way? What does the injured party think? Is the boy remorseful and offering to help the injured woman in any way? All that stuff is necessary to know before making a decision.

LastOfTheChristmasWine · 27/01/2023 16:47

There are a variety of punishments that could be meted out that are less than expulsion.

For example

  • suspension
  • additional chores within the sports club
  • writing a letter of apology to the woman in question
  • permanent confiscation of his skateboard by his parents (assuming this isn't the GB Olympic skateboarding squad he's a member of)
  • having his pocket money docked and given to the woman in question to cover some help with cleaning / gardening / anything else she can't currently do due to the arm.

He deserves some punishment but if he'd done it to me I wouldn't want him expelled from the sports club altogether.

AllotmentTime · 27/01/2023 16:47

Had any of the minor reprimands been for not using his skateboard in the building?

Notjusta · 27/01/2023 16:47

If I drive on the pavement and knock someone down is it an accident?

I appreciate the bar is different for children, but I would expect even a much younger child to know you don't scoot/skate/ride a bike etc inside.

PuttingDownRoots · 27/01/2023 16:48

There is not enough detail to be able to say whether this was carelessness, stupidity or a pure accident. You will need to know the premises to make that judgement.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 27/01/2023 16:48

What are the rules about using skateboards in that area?

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 27/01/2023 16:48

Although hitting the grandmother was an accident he was negligent in the fact he was breaking the rules that caused it. You mention several previous reprimands so I wouldn't be surprised if this was one incident too many and he was expelled

TinyArsePhone · 27/01/2023 16:48

Well tbf it was an entirely predictable accident that was the result of him ignoring important safety instructions (ie not to use the skateboard inside the building).

I'm not sure what should happen but there should definitely be some sort of consequence for him. Probably not being expelled from the club though. That's harsh.

Original poster
Nimbostratus100 · 27/01/2023 16:48

He was in the building, in the entrance hall

OP posts:
verabarbleen · 27/01/2023 16:48

I don't think he should be expelled if it was an accident , hopefully if he is a kind decent boy the fact he has broken a grandmas arm and the guilt who would feel should be punishment enough

DaveyJonesLocker · 27/01/2023 16:49

He was doing something dangerous and against the club rules. Someone got seriously hurt as a direct result. He should be expelled.

ShillyShallySherbet · 27/01/2023 16:49

I voted YABU but also a card with a heartfelt apology to the grandmother. Perhaps ask the grandmother or her family what they think should be a suitable punishment as they are the victims.

SerenaTee · 27/01/2023 16:49

So many irrelevant details in the post but surely he can only be expelled if he’s broken one of the rules of using the club that he signed up to (behaviour policy etc). He’s a 12 year old kid, seems harsh to kick him out when presumably he’s going to be feeling bad already about what happened.

Chickenly · 27/01/2023 16:49

It’s hard to say without more details. How fast was he going? How reckless was he being? Did you pop out from round a corner or was he not looking? Was he apologetic? Did he try to help? Did he leave immediately when asked? Was he rude? Was the sport related to skateboarding? Had he been previously asked not to skateboard? Did she fall because it was icy/wet in combination with the skateboard or solely from the impact? Lots more to unpack.

In the main thought, I don’t think a child should be expelled for this. However, with lots of minor behavioural issues, they might be happy for an excuse to cut him loose, especially with poor attendance too.

Sugarfree23 · 27/01/2023 16:49

It's an accident, even if you say he was doing something he was told not to, he still didn't intend to hurt her.

Expelling him seems stupidly inappropriate.

growgrowinggrown · 27/01/2023 16:50

Are his parents involved in this conversation and 'private punishment' implemented by them already?

I think expelled is a fair shout, he's been told multiple times not to do something that has now resulted in a serious injury.

He clearly can't be trusted to listen and amend his behaviour so now has to face the repercussions.

An operation for any older person isn't taken lightly and can have awful side effects, I'd be worried sick and really angry if I was a relative of 'grandma' and found out the boy could carry on as is.

Willynuts · 27/01/2023 16:50

If he was skateboarding IN the building which he was told not to do, and presumably skated into someone causing injury, then I can see why he has been expelled.

NerrSnerr · 27/01/2023 16:50

Although he knows that skateboarding isn't allowed have people just let it go and he's just done it anyway?

How good he is at the sport is irrelevant. Was he being supervised by a parent or instructor at this time or was he 'alone'?

ChrisPPancake · 27/01/2023 16:51

If he can't follow the rules of the club (presuming the no skateboard indoors thing is a rule if he's been told not to do it before?) then some kind of discipline that he understands - benching for a few games, left out if the team, extra practice - maybe. And he should (I'd like to hope has already) apologize to the lady obviously.

PugInTheHouse · 27/01/2023 16:51

Not sure really. Several minor reprimands and not amazing attendance for an elite club. I imagine that their place is sought after so someone who has poor attendance, several reprimands then has done something which has caused a nasty injury he has been told previously not to do is enough to ask someone to leave an elite sports team
.

DarkForces · 27/01/2023 16:52

A broken bone is a killer in older people and the chances of the lady returning to her previous independence and function is very low. The club need to make sure it's taken seriously. I hope there's insurance in place to pay for the care she'll need