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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

807 replies

Nimbostratus100 · 27/01/2023 16:41

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

OP posts:

FuzzyPuffling · 27/01/2023 16:52

The sports club should deal with the "no skateboarding" infringement as it feels best.
But..
the boy needs to deal with the consequences of his actions and make reparation to the woman he injured.

Autumnnewname · 27/01/2023 16:53

The club should follow whatever disciplinary policy they have for breaking rules.

It wasn't an accident. He was at fault. It was avoidable

Notjusta · 27/01/2023 16:53

Honestly amazed how many people are saying it's an accident. I am sure he didn't mean to do it, but I am not sure it counts as a genuine accident if you are doing something as stupid as skateboarding inside a reception area!

SnarkyBag · 27/01/2023 16:53

Someone was injured on the premises by a child doing something they had already been told not to do. Actions have consequences he chose to ignore the rules and someone got hurt enough to need an operation. So I don’t think he can feel too hard done by if excluded. If this is an elite club then presumably they want elite members who can not just play the sport but can represent the club well through general behaviour.

LubaLuca · 27/01/2023 16:54

There's a lot of irrelevant info there.

He was skateboarding inside which he knows is a dangerous thing to do, and caused a serious injury to someone unrelated to him.

If this kid is a bit of a pain in the arse generally, the club would probably be wise to use their power to get rid of him. It sounds like he is, ignoring warnings and getting several reprimands, so I think they should expel him.

FriedEggChocolate · 27/01/2023 16:54

Are there any mitigating factors for the victim e.g. osteoperosis? Would his mother have broken her arm had the same thing happened with her as the victim?

I'd focus on banning the skateboard, a letter of apology to the victim, and maybe something like cleaning the entrance hall weekly for a month, not banning him completely.

picklemewalnuts · 27/01/2023 16:54

Skateboarding inside the building, where he was told more than once not to skateboard?

A child of a certain level of ability, able to follow game rules

In this case, I think consequences should be severe. Clearly previous consequences didn't change the behaviour. He's a liability, someone who thinks rules don't apply to him, when he really wants something different.
It's appropriate- indeed necessary- to teach him otherwise.

To be honest if he was mine I'd be embarrassed to take him back there anyway.

Lockheart · 27/01/2023 16:55

Quite a few people assuming the grandmother is elderly and vulnerable (which I expect is just what the OP wanted with the unecessary use of the word).

You can easily be a grandmother at 40.

This woman could be anywhere within a 40-odd year age range.

TeenDivided · 27/01/2023 16:55

It wasn't an 'accident' if the boy was skating where he has been told not to.

takealettermsjones · 27/01/2023 16:56

Expelling or not expelling him is up to the club - depends on their behaviour policies.

The legal question is interesting. The grandmother could potentially sue the child under the tort of negligence, but may not be successful due to the child's age. She could potentially sue the sports club if she can argue that they were negligent in not exercising reasonable control over the child, but she would have to show they had a duty of care and that it applied in the foyer area etc. Have a look at Mullin v Richards 1998 and Palmer v Cornwall CC 2009.

LastOfTheChristmasWine · 27/01/2023 16:56

Notjusta · 27/01/2023 16:53

It was an accident, in that it was not his intention to collide with someone else.

Was it entirely preventable? Of course, but then so are the vast majority of car accidents (not paying enough attention, going a bit too fast, not looking properly at a junction...)

RoobarbandCustud · 27/01/2023 16:56

He broke a safety rule and the consequence was very serious. Don't underestimate the impact of a broken arm on an older person. I think he should be expelled for a period of time. He and others will think twice in future about breaking this sort of rule.

Lockheart · 27/01/2023 16:56

Notjusta · 27/01/2023 16:53

Most accidents are caused by stupidity or inattention. Doesn't mean they're not accidents.

CrotchetyQuaver · 27/01/2023 16:56

To some extent what happened next should depend on the boys reaction to the accident caused by his recklessness.

If he couldn't give a stuff and his parents aren't horrified by what happened then a minimum of suspension from the teams and premises for a meaningful period (a year perhaps) would be reasonable. Or membership terminated.
If he's full of genuine remorse and will never ride his skateboard in the public areas then being suspended from the team/not allowed to join training sessions for say the rest of the term would be more appropriate. I think there has to be seen to be a punishment, he was stupid to be skateboarding indoors and there should be consequences as the woman was quite badly injured.

Don't most of these clubs have a rule that children should be supervised at all times? I would have thought there was also a risk of the parents being sued by the victim...

AmyDudley · 27/01/2023 16:56

He'd been told not to skateboard in the building: he skateboarded in the building and someone was seriously hurt. At 12 he is old enough to know he needs to do as he is told, he chose not to. he's shown himself to be untristworthy when it comes to obeying rules, next time he decides to do something he has been told not to do someone could be injured even more seriously, those potential victims have a right to feel safe at the sports club. Also if he is allowed to continue to be a member and does something else stupid, the club will find itself in a tricky situation regarding liability when they know this boy is a risk.

I may seem harsh but I feel the rights of people using the club not to get injured by a badly behaved child take priority over the privilege of said child to continue at the club.

WendyAndClyde · 27/01/2023 16:57

DarkForces · 27/01/2023 16:52

A broken bone is a killer in older people and the chances of the lady returning to her previous independence and function is very low. The club need to make sure it's taken seriously. I hope there's insurance in place to pay for the care she'll need

This.

Cileymyrus · 27/01/2023 16:57

Notjusta · 27/01/2023 16:47

If I drive on the pavement and knock someone down is it an accident?

I appreciate the bar is different for children, but I would expect even a much younger child to know you don't scoot/skate/ride a bike etc inside.

You’re an adult, with full ability to know likely consequence of driving on the pavement will result in serious injury.

12 year old boys often don’t have that maturity of thinking. That’s why they aren’t allowed to make their own decisions until 16/18.

I am very much for rehab. Sport and hobbies keep kids out of more serious trouble generally.

consequences, but I wouldn’t expel.

Original poster

Nimbostratus100 · 27/01/2023 16:57

To answer some questions:

He arrived and left the club alone, he was told no skateboarding in the building when he arrived on it.

How sorry he was, I dont know, he was taken away immediately by a club official

He was sort of scooting, one foot on, one foot off

Previous reprimands have been for arguing with the referee, nothing off the pitch.

OP posts:

SauMore · 27/01/2023 16:57

Yes grandmother only means she has a grandchild.
Middle aged woman (58) or elderly woman (78) would be lot more meaningful in terms of how serious this injury could actually be.

picklemewalnuts · 27/01/2023 16:57

Lockheart · 27/01/2023 16:55

Quite a few people assuming the grandmother is elderly and vulnerable (which I expect is just what the OP wanted with the unecessary use of the word).

You can easily be a grandmother at 40.

This woman could be anywhere within a 40-odd year age range.

At 40, and knocked off my feet and a broken arm, I'd be feeling pretty damn vulnerable.

The 12 yr old could also be taller than the 40 year old, if we're stretching possibilities to see what happens.

Sceptre86 · 27/01/2023 16:58

Banned for 3 months. Long enough to have an effect of him and for him to consider his actions. Also might spur the parents to manage his behaviour. He is 12 not 3. Unless it is a skateboarding club he shouldn't have had his skateboard with him and his parents are in part responsible for that. Also he was on it in the building which is against the rules.

How good of a player he is or how long he has been at the club isn't important. What is, is that he broke the rules and there should be consequences.

SnarkyBag · 27/01/2023 16:58

FriedEggChocolate · 27/01/2023 16:54

Are there any mitigating factors for the victim e.g. osteoperosis? Would his mother have broken her arm had the same thing happened with her as the victim?

I'd focus on banning the skateboard, a letter of apology to the victim, and maybe something like cleaning the entrance hall weekly for a month, not banning him completely.

There is no logic to your post. That’s a bit like a drunk driver who’s ploughed into a motorbike saying “but if I’d ploughed into someone driving a 4x4 they wouldn’t have died”

the age/health of the victim makes no difference to his culpability

WhatNoRaisins · 27/01/2023 16:58

The only way this could possibly be considered an accident would be if he'd not seen the skateboard, stepped onto it and gone flying into the woman. He chose to use the skateboard in the building after being told not to. This was an easily predictable outcome of his actions.

Maybe he'd be better off spending his time at the skate park.

Yesthatismychildsigh · 27/01/2023 16:59

Lockheart · 27/01/2023 16:45

I've never heard of anyone being expelled from anywhere for an accident.

The use of grandmother is irrelevant, unless she's his grandmother.

He shouldn't have had the skateboard but that's a separate thing to the accident. He should be reprimanded for having the skateboard, not punished for the accident.

He was leaving the building ON his skateboard, which at 12 he should know not to do. He had even been told not to do it. That is not an accident.

FuzzyPuffling · 27/01/2023 16:59

A broken arm can be very debilitating regardless of age.
No driving, housework, cooking, showering with difficulty - and if work is involved, several weeks of SSP only? Boy and family need to make good.

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