Page 5 | Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

Nimbostratus100 · 2023-01-27T16:41:43+00:00

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here The facts of the case 12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time. This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there. What do you think should happen? why? I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random! YABU - the boy should be expelled YANBU - the boy should not be expelled also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled? Thank you

Yeahrightthen · 27/01/2023 17:16

pocketvenuss · 27/01/2023 17:07

The accident was preventable. The rules about no skateboard was to prevent accidents. He chose to ignore the rule. The accident therefore was his fault.
You don't drive on the pavement. If you did and you had an accident I am assuming you would accept it was a preventable accident and your fault.

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You are comparing a 12yo riding a skateboard indoors to someone driving along a pavement?

I think you are reaching slightly!

Fairislefandango · 27/01/2023 17:16

He shouldn't have had the skateboard but that's a separate thing to the accident.

I disagree. The accident was caused by him deliberately ignoring the rules when he had already specifically been told them.

ancientgran · 27/01/2023 17:16

WestBridgewater · 27/01/2023 17:14

No, they broke the law, the 12 yo broke the rules The examples given are imprisonable, last time I checked a child accidentally knocking down a pedestrian resulting in a serious injury doesn’t carry a custodial sentence.

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I didn't mention prison, I was talking about punishment that is appropriate for the offence. He has caused someone serious physical injury. I bet people wouldn't be so understanding if they were the woman with the broken arm.

SeemsSoUnfair · 27/01/2023 17:16

12 is old enough to know and comply with rules there for safety. He was directly responsibile through good actions for severly injuring someone. It was not an accident he purposely broke the rules and was negligent.

The punishment would depend on how much remose he has shown, has he already contacted the victim and apologised, offered to help her with perhaps shopping /gardening if appropriate to try to make up for his actions. An impact statement and his victims feelings towards him should also be taken into account.

Personally, if he has contacted the victim and offered help id expel for a year.

slowquickstep · 27/01/2023 17:16

If he can't follow the rules he shouldn't be in the club. He obviously can't respect rules. The club will now have an insurance claim on their hands due no doubt.

Cileymyrus · 27/01/2023 17:16

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 27/01/2023 17:07

He argues with the refs, has poor attendance, shows no respect for authority- why would an elite sport want to keep him. He's a liability

Because sport can be a huge influence on troubled kids?

we had one, shitty home life. Kid was older that 12 but was impulsive and did not seem to be able to think through consequences. Nothing malicious, stupid pranks, probably would have thought skateboarding down a hallway immense fun.

they did kick him out, after failing to actually address his behaviour. Would kick him out, then let him back in because they needed him for a game. Eventually it was permanent, and two years later the kids had a criminal record.

imo they should have addressed it from the start. Sat him down, offered support, set expectations for behaviour. Sports psychologists are easily accessible for elite sports, regular sessions plus behaviour reviews and positive reinforcement may have changed his life for the better.

a 12 year old deserves a chance.

Johnnysgirl · 27/01/2023 17:17

Is he your son, op? Why are you so invested in keeping this boy who has clearly demonstrated that he can't be trusted to follow instructions as a member of your "elite" club?

WhoppingBigBackside · 27/01/2023 17:17

Not RTFT.

The term grandmother only indicates that it is a female person who has a grandchild. She could be any age over 33 years.

The woman could sue the club.

I think the boy should be at least suspended from the club.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 27/01/2023 17:17

I wouldn't expect a 12 year old to be expelled for accidentally hurting someone. Hopefully he'll take more notice of the no skateboard rules in the venue in future though.
Where it happened is irrelevant really.

Fairylightsandstuff · 27/01/2023 17:18

It was an accident. Accidents happen and hopefully this will teach him to be more careful in future. I don’t think he should be expelled.

ClaraThePigeon · 27/01/2023 17:19

I'm a grandmother and I'm 100% certain that I would return to my 'previous independence and function' I'm 58

I admire your certainty but that isn't always the case. I haven't and I was 16 when I fractured mine. It took months and months of therapy and splints to allow me to regain movement and even now it's nowhere near as strong as it was, I can't raise it fully and not for more than a second and I suffer chronic pain. Yes she might recover fully but that's not certain and even if she does, the pain and recovery is an ordeal in itself.

I agree with those who say that there's a difference between an accident and an "accident".

saraclara · 27/01/2023 17:20

The accident happened because he ignored the rules. The rules are there to prevent accidents. Therefore the accident was preventable and he is responsible

Yes. The fact that he was told that he was told just an hour or two before that he was not allowed his skateboard indoors, is the crunch here. He knew it wasn't allowed, he did it anyway, and he did it carelessly enough to collide with this woman. So there was an intent to break the rules followed by a lack of care and consideration for anyone else.

I'd go for a temporary suspension.

Elsiebear90 · 27/01/2023 17:20

It was an accident because he broke the very reasonable rules about not skating inside the building that he has been repeatedly reminded not to break for this exact reason, he should be expelled and maybe he will learn a lesson from this.

Johnnysgirl · 27/01/2023 17:20

Cileymyrus · 27/01/2023 17:16

Because sport can be a huge influence on troubled kids?

we had one, shitty home life. Kid was older that 12 but was impulsive and did not seem to be able to think through consequences. Nothing malicious, stupid pranks, probably would have thought skateboarding down a hallway immense fun.

they did kick him out, after failing to actually address his behaviour. Would kick him out, then let him back in because they needed him for a game. Eventually it was permanent, and two years later the kids had a criminal record.

imo they should have addressed it from the start. Sat him down, offered support, set expectations for behaviour. Sports psychologists are easily accessible for elite sports, regular sessions plus behaviour reviews and positive reinforcement may have changed his life for the better.

a 12 year old deserves a chance.

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You think the kid had a criminal record because he wasn't supported and nurtured by his sports club?
You actually think they should have paid for sessions with a psychologist?? 🤯

Floralnomad · 27/01/2023 17:20

why doesn’t someone ask the lady that he knocked over what a suitable ‘punishment ‘ would be . If it was me I’d like to think that I’d give him a break as he’s only 12 . Perhaps he could go and do some garden work for her when the weather gets better .

Original poster

Nimbostratus100 · 27/01/2023 17:21

Johnnysgirl · 27/01/2023 17:17

Is he your son, op? Why are you so invested in keeping this boy who has clearly demonstrated that he can't be trusted to follow instructions as a member of your "elite" club?

No, not my son, a boy I have been involved with as a volunteer in different young people's activities, for some years. Basically a good boy. No malice in him. A bit impulsive at times. I've always had high hopes for him.

OP posts:

Cileymyrus · 27/01/2023 17:21

WhoppingBigBackside · 27/01/2023 17:17

Not RTFT.

The term grandmother only indicates that it is a female person who has a grandchild. She could be any age over 33 years.

The woman could sue the club.

I think the boy should be at least suspended from the club.

To sue the club and get a favourable outcome she would have to prove them negligent.

no lawyer, but they had made the no skateboard rule clear. They would have to show they were negligent in allowing the skateboarding or not taking action to prevent it.

so the responsibility lies with the 12 year old. Again no lawyer but can you sue a 12 year old for damages?

Babyroobs · 27/01/2023 17:21

It is serious, he has injured someone with his stupid behaviour and is old enough to know that you don't go using a skateboard indoors. I hate it when you see even little kids going round supermarkets on scooters etc. And parents do nothing.

ImmigrantAlice · 27/01/2023 17:21

Flamingogirl08 · 27/01/2023 16:45

It was an accident of course he shouldn't be expelled

I don’t agree. It was a foreseeable risk which is one reason skateboarding is not allowed. Breaking a sensible rule like this means you are responsible for the consequences, so he should be expelled from the club.

PennyRa · 27/01/2023 17:22

Sounds like the clubs fault

Original poster

Nimbostratus100 · 27/01/2023 17:22

Johnnysgirl · 27/01/2023 17:20

You think the kid had a criminal record because he wasn't supported and nurtured by his sports club?
You actually think they should have paid for sessions with a psychologist?? 🤯

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yes, I think this can happen! Sport can be an enormous force for good for young people, and keeps many of them out of trouble

OP posts:

Kangarude · 27/01/2023 17:22

I'm sorry to hear that @ClaraThePigeon It sounds awful for you
I have broken a wrist before (a good few years ago) and luckily, haven't had any problem with it since. I suppose my point was that not every grandmother is a frail, old person.

Fairislefandango · 27/01/2023 17:22

This is why people don't follow rules - they see other people break them and nothing done about it. There is no need to be wishy washy about expelling people who deliberately flout the rules of an organisation they belong to. Besides, it's just a sports club - it's hardly the end of the world or hugely detrimental to him if he's expelled. He can join another club or try a different sport- lesson learned.

mbosnz · 27/01/2023 17:23

I'm a bit surprised about how strongly other parents at the club seem to feel about this. How many other incidents have occurred with this young chap, and he's been given a chance? Is it once chance too many as far as they are concerned? Or do they feel there's one rule for this kid, and all the rules for the rest of them?

ancientgran · 27/01/2023 17:23

ClaraThePigeon · 27/01/2023 17:19

I'm a grandmother and I'm 100% certain that I would return to my 'previous independence and function' I'm 58

I admire your certainty but that isn't always the case. I haven't and I was 16 when I fractured mine. It took months and months of therapy and splints to allow me to regain movement and even now it's nowhere near as strong as it was, I can't raise it fully and not for more than a second and I suffer chronic pain. Yes she might recover fully but that's not certain and even if she does, the pain and recovery is an ordeal in itself.

I agree with those who say that there's a difference between an accident and an "accident".

I agree. I broke my humerus 35 years ago, I was 35 at the time so for half my life I've had pain in my arm, if I do something as reckless as deciding to take curtains down to wash them I will spend sometime in tears as holding my arm up to take curtains down or put them back up will cause me lots of pain. I have physio from time to time when the pain gets worse and that in itself is an ordeal.