Was I Unreasonable - wheelchair Space

[Nicetomeetyou25]

Hi, My DC ( 10 ) is a wheelchair user, we have to take public transport to school and honestly where we live is a nightmare. Some of the London buses still have a very small area where wheelchairs and pushchairs can go. I know else where there is no priority but on London buses it is stated very clearly wheelchairs are priority and pushchair need to be prepared to fold. School runs can be crazy because there tends to be a lot of pushchairs. I never ask a pushchair to get off and always wait for a bus that we can fit on. Every day a particular school mum beats me to the bus stop and she really does make sure she stands in the correct place to get on first and I usually allow this.

yesterday I could not be late home so I collected DC a tiny bit early and took them to the bus stop before the school bus stop. Got on bus and we arrived at the bus stop with usual pram getting on ( I should have added that she has a double stroller )

I had placed DC in the correct wheelchair position so sideways with back against the wall where stairs are as it is how the buses even say you have to.
she asks me to turn DC around so there was more space for her to get in side by side. I refused. She said she didn’t understand why I wouldn’t. I explained that I wasn’t willing to change position as it wasn’t safe.
She goes to bus driver and kicks off to advice him that there was enough space of I just turned the wheelchair around and placed it behind the pole.
she got off in a bit of a strop and called me selfish.
was I being unreasonable ?

@maddy68 what part of, it's not safe that way, do you not understand?

yaanbu

I can't believe the selfishness of anyone who would actually get on the bus first with a buggy when there is a wheelchair user waiting. wheelchairs have priority so she ought to be letting you on first every single day no matter who arrives to the bus stop first.

is there any way you could walk to the previous bus stop on the route?

could you write to the bus company and ask for the driver to make sure you get on first before buggy users are allowed on?

You have done nothing wrong OP.
wheelchairs first.

I used to take my double pram on a bus when mine were little. I couldn’t physically fold the pram and hold both children who were not yet walking or standing independently, not to mention if there were no seats.

but if a wheelchair user needed to get on, I gave them priority, including getting off if I was already on the bus. I can imagine their stress at not knowing if they can get on. It made bus journeys stressful for us, but it was only for a couple of years. For wheelchair users it’s often a lifelong issue.

imo there should be more folding seats on buses to accommodate more Wheelchairs (above prams) public spaces are still not accessible enough

So you would want a wheelchair user to be in an unsafe position? Would you put your child or even yourself in an unsafe position if someone asked? I highly doubt it.

Wheelchair every time. But I have often witnessed people with buggies (where the child isn't even IN the buggy, they've got their feet all over the bus seats) refusing to put them down so a wheelchair can get on. It's the wonderful air of entitlement that seems to exist these days.

For people saying why not move the wheelchair round - you do realise if the bus had an accident and the wheelchair user was injured the bus co would likely deny liability because the wheelchair wasn't in advised position?

She was being massively unreasonable.

I hope in future that you'll demand the space and have her kicked off every time. I have sympathy for mums of newborns who may have birth injuries and can't easily fold nor use a sling, but even then the wheelchair has priority and should take the space. Anyone else needs to learn to do without the pushchair in the mornings. Big rucksack for all the bags and baby in a sling, or walk.

She is rude and entitled. Imagine kicking up a fuss because a wheelchair is in your way?! YANBU. Put her out of your mind.

thank you. It’s all quite new to us and learning how to get around is a learning curve !

Just out of interest. When your usually at the same stop and she gets on before you . How do you position the wheel chair at them times ?

Because those of us with disabilities like to behave like normal people when and where we can.

People chained themselves to buses and fought for those spaces. Public transport should be for the public, that's the point.

Unfortunately there are some rude nasty fuckers in this world @Nicetomeetyou25 , you did nothing wrong

@Mynewhome i don’t get on, usually there is always a few single strollers to so one of those will get on with her as we can’t fit. We sometimes catch the second bus sometimes the third depending.

Not unreasonable at all. I used to regularly get the bus with the pram and would have never have pushed in front of you. And I’d have folded/got off if you needed to get on.

Dont let these selfish people push you around

I don’t know the distance but to stop the aggro would it be possible to go to the stop before yours therefore be on the bus before this double pushchair tries to barge on.

I'm sending over some additional back bone for you! X

its not easy, but DD & you have the absolute right to that space. CF needs to sort out a travelling option that's more suitable. I get it's not easy with a double buggy & young school kids too, but she has options you don't have!

that's for her to sort anyway! Just remind her it's a space for wheelchairs & she's fortunate not to qualify! Point at the signs for wheelchair priority AND safe placement. Explain once that unsafe placement is unsafe for everyone including her & her children. Explain all of this clearly once then in future, tell her to move.

be LOUD if she's not moving.

this is a wheel chair priority space, please move so I can put a wheelchair in it. If you're clear & loud, you'll embarrass her & people will be supportive.

the bus driver should do it for you, but...

you could also complain the bus company.

Will DD's provision change when she goes to senior school?

Read the thread - the OP clarified that the bus driver did stand up for her.

Funding for transport isn’t linked to the EHCP directly. I’m amazed that your child doesn’t get a transport budget! I’d be filming my every journey of the school run and sending it to my local MP.

Definitely not unreasonable, I wouldn't just waltz on ahead of a wheelchair user anyway regardless of who made it to the bus stop first and I definitely wouldn't move my child in to an unsafe position to accommodate an able bodied woman who could fold her buggy/ wait for the next bus/ walk.

Good advice.

Can’t believe how entitled people are, of course the wheelchair should always have priority. When my kids were little half the buses where we lived still had step access, it is entirely possible to get on a bus with 2 children and a buggy folded, it does need a bit of organising, but if you’re needing to do it most days then get organised! Baby in sling, toddler in hand, buggy folded, job done.

Oh well secondary school seems to be more Complicated ! We seem to fall straight through a gap between not being quite appropriate for a SEN provision but not quite a mainstream either- we are having more meeting shortly with current senco and LA.

Your DD is classed as low mobility for free taxi transport ???? That's disgusting .

Here in Kent [not so far away from London] , in our local town , hardly any of the children who need free taxi transport , are in wheelchairs , so down here your DD would definitely be a priority case . Keep pushing, OP, keep pushing .

A budget would help the OP in this instance but doesn't solve the fundamental problem of people misusing disability access for their personal convenience. Bus drivers often don't want to get involved and tbf at times I can see their point.

Everyone needs to "see" bad behaviour on public transport and question it rather than averting their eyes and not wanting to get involved. Until that happens the able bodied entitled will treat bus spaces, car spaces and disabled loo as items there for their own extended convenience.

There are umpteen threads running right now with posters justifying misuse of all three of those spaces - if just half the posters who state its wrong on these threads were also willing to question the behaviour in public then just maybe there would be less problems with access.

I do think the issue is DC wasn’t in a wheelchair prior to around 2 months ago, so I suppose maybe in her head they can walk because she saw even walk.. I don’t know 🤣what does through peoples minds !

No you weren't in the wrong, it's a shame when bus drivers don't enforce wheelchair priority but many thankfully do.