Was I Unreasonable - wheelchair Space

[Nicetomeetyou25]

Hi, My DC ( 10 ) is a wheelchair user, we have to take public transport to school and honestly where we live is a nightmare. Some of the London buses still have a very small area where wheelchairs and pushchairs can go. I know else where there is no priority but on London buses it is stated very clearly wheelchairs are priority and pushchair need to be prepared to fold. School runs can be crazy because there tends to be a lot of pushchairs. I never ask a pushchair to get off and always wait for a bus that we can fit on. Every day a particular school mum beats me to the bus stop and she really does make sure she stands in the correct place to get on first and I usually allow this.

yesterday I could not be late home so I collected DC a tiny bit early and took them to the bus stop before the school bus stop. Got on bus and we arrived at the bus stop with usual pram getting on ( I should have added that she has a double stroller )

I had placed DC in the correct wheelchair position so sideways with back against the wall where stairs are as it is how the buses even say you have to.
she asks me to turn DC around so there was more space for her to get in side by side. I refused. She said she didn’t understand why I wouldn’t. I explained that I wasn’t willing to change position as it wasn’t safe.
She goes to bus driver and kicks off to advice him that there was enough space of I just turned the wheelchair around and placed it behind the pole.
she got off in a bit of a strop and called me selfish.
was I being unreasonable ?

Hair - was meant to be pushchair 🤣

What borough are you in? Few areas have a distance requirement where disability or SEN is involved. We’re in Hackney and would qualify for a personal budget and we live close enough to walk to school.

Schools are often happy to send out messages like "park considerately " or "don't stop on the yellow zig zag lines" or "x Road will be closed for road works" in their newsletter. Nothing to do with teachers sorting the issue.

Even though this would have placed the person in the wheelchair in a less safe position?

@Simonjt we have fought for transport for years. We have a very solid EHCP but they will not pay for for taxis to and from school of course we still always fight these things.

The reason wheelchairs have to be positioned as they are is because of what happens to the occupants in a crash if they aren't. You wouldn't want it to be your children in the pushchair either.

I’m from Hackney weirdly enough but we no longer fall under the borough of Hackney since moving house and school last September.

@maddy68

I would have moved so there was space for you both. Give and take

You would position your child unsafely on a bus to accommodate able bodied people?

Of course you were in the right here. As a pp said I am astounded that pushchairs users aren't giving you the priority. Because you absolute 100% have priority.

Thank you
I’m really hoping DLA will turn around their decision on mobility so we can access a car then life will be so much easier but at the moment they keep saying low rate mobility. Until then I might just grow a back bone on the school run !!

Many many years ago when I was 18 just turned and had my new born in pram, I was on a bus on my way to the hospital to say goodbye to my lovely grandma as I’d had the phone call and she was my only family, I was already in a state halfway there a wheel chair user was getting on which was absolutely fine if I could just put down my pram but I was screamed at told to get off the bus and I did, my the boyfriend now husband left his job to take me but I missed her

You did the right thing. Hopefully she's moaned about it to a few people since that time and those people have pointed out that she's in the wrong.

I'm kinda miffed that you don't get funded transport. I hope that changes for you both.

I get the same problem getting to work almost every sodding day. But it's not usually pushchairs because luckily school runs over when I leave, it's older people with their shopping trollies. They get in and park them in the wheelchair/pushchair part. And they just shrug and say they got there first when I try and get on. Bus driver will tell them to move them. But then they leave them in the aisles blocking people getting on and off. And it's me who gets huffed and puffed about lol.

Very sad, and you have my sympathy. But will all respect, irrelevant.

op - you did nothing wrong. Wheel chairs should be placed in the correct position in case of any accident. I’ve been on a bus when they’ve stopped suddenly - you don’t want a wheelchair hurtling around the bus for the safety of all involved.

So many people behave weirdly around this. There was the bloke before Christmas who insisted that his kid stay in their Maclaren in front of me in the wheelchair space, rather than move out of the way, and got stroppy when inevitably the movement of the bus demonstrated why that was unsafe.

There are the people who like to lean on the cushion in the space and watch you get on the bus and still need to be asked to get out of the way, like they’ve not just spent 2 minutes watching a wheelchair user prepare to occupy the space they’re in that is clearly marked as a wheelchair space.

There’s the one with the double buggy who gave me a load of verbal abuse from the kerb when she saw I was in the wheelchair space and she couldn’t get on, and who was shocked I wouldn’t get off the bus for her because “people like you don’t need to be anywhere in a hurry”. And so many over the years who have expressed surprise that I can’t just wait because I must have all day. Well no, I work and am a functional member of society and as much right as anyone else to be on time to work, meetings, hospital appointments, etc.

And all those who have refused over the years to move or fold or in any way cede the wheelchair space despite not themselves being a wheelchair user. If you add the bus drivers who won’t even try to get the space cleared by playing the pre-recorded message designed for the purpose, leaving you out in the cold and wet, let alone be more proactive about things, it’s a pretty dispiriting situation.

Honestly, asking me to turn or move my chair so we could squeeze a buggy into the space is one of the less cheeky things someone could do in this circumstance. I don’t mind people asking and will accommodate where it’s safe to do so. But if I give a polite no, there’s no excuse to kick off as happened in OP’s case. OP was totally right to stand her ground, and neither of us should have to have this kind of argument with people.

I don't have a buggy any more but would always get off if I saw a wheelchair user at a bus stop. They have priority I wouldn't even have argued about it. She was being unreasonable and entitled. I remember it being a nightmare with a double buggy myself but it is what it is.

This is why people that don't fold their buggies because it's too big, they have bags, who will hold the kid, insert whatever other bullshit excuse, disgust me.

Back in the day you had to have the pram folded and be ready to get on by the time the bus arrived. To allow others to get on too.

Anyone not doing this is just an entitled selfish fucker imo.

The bus is for everyone.

Sorry I was meant to be adding can the mother of the pram not put her pram down and hold the baby so there is space for both pram in the space that hold luggage and wheelchair in its space, I would be more than happy to help some put pram up and down but yes the wheelchair user did absolutely nothing wrong,

I think you should contact the bus company and explain what's happened. Wheelchairs should get priority over pushchairs, get this clarified.

Speak to someone in charge and also put it in writing. All the bus drivers need to be made aware of the situation and then when this happens again they can tell the twat with the pushchair to move for the wheelchair user.

She's the selfish one.

Hi op, in regards to school transport. Get in touch with these:-

sentas.co.uk/

Best of luck

the mother is stupid and selfish. She knows there is a pupil in a wheelchair but thinks her buggy trumps that?

the drivers need to tell her to get out of the wheelchair space every single time

Complain to the bus company.

I'm aghast at the issues that people in or with wheelchairs have to encounter on a daily basis. I mean, the wheelchair isn't there to inconvenience others, it's that person's legs and way to get around and be in society.
The sooner able-bodied people understand that, the better.

It'll mean that issues like this don't happen on transport, it'll mean that wheelchairs will not be seen in the same light as buggies or golf carts at airports as they are the way the person gets around the airport and to/from the aircraft. It'll mean so much to people who use wheelchairs.

@Nicetomeetyou25 - you did everything right. Unfortunately, this particular commuter appears to be under the impression that her double buggy takes precedence and I feel she will try to hold her position going forwards. I feel you will have to dissuade her of this impression.

Am interested in what happens normally if she is already on the bus in front of you? Do you both manage to get on and if so is that also in a dangerous position?

Didn't you read the OP? That information is right there

Thay's not nice but presumably OP doesn't intend on getting on the bus and screaming at her to get off.