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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if manager did this deliberately

182 replies

Eastie77Returns · 26/01/2023 22:38

I had my annual pay review today over a call. My manager opened the document up on a shared screen and began talking me through it. It was immediately clear to me I was looking at someone else’s document and the base pay was completely different to mine. Overall this person is paid £80k more than me. I was so stunned at this discrepancy I could not register what my manager was saying to me. After a few minutes she ‘realised’ the mistake and shut down the document.

She is usually meticulous and can’t believe this was an error so I think for some reason she wants me to know. She made a point of telling me at the start of the call that she had just finished ‘Jane’s’ pay review (my colleague) so I don’t know if I’m suppose to conclude this is Jane’s pay.

Needless to say I am job hunting.

I am so confounded by this whole situation, I am just in a daze. I knew people in my team were paid different amounts but never dreamt the discrepancy could be so wide. I think I am probably the lowest paid member of the team.

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 04/02/2023 10:49

promotion is also linked to me living the company’s culture and values which are very vague terms like ‘being courageous’ and ‘bringing joy to our customers’.
Christ alive...

donttellmehesalive · 04/02/2023 11:05

You have been completely happy and settled in your job for a long time, until you saw that a colleague earns more than you.

You now know that that colleague is senior to you, so the pay discrepancy isn't such a big issue. So why do you suddenly need advice to survive in a role that you were previously content with?

You've asked about pay and promotion and had your answer - you are not currently considered a candidate for either. So just keep job hunting because really what choice do you have?

Fruitbatdancer · 04/02/2023 11:09

I find that job searching and updating CV during work hours really helps when you work for a tw@t!
if you want any CV tips or if you work in mainstream IT feel free to DM. If I can help in any way I will.

Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 04/02/2023 11:59

donttellmehesalive · 04/02/2023 11:05

You have been completely happy and settled in your job for a long time, until you saw that a colleague earns more than you.

You now know that that colleague is senior to you, so the pay discrepancy isn't such a big issue. So why do you suddenly need advice to survive in a role that you were previously content with?

You've asked about pay and promotion and had your answer - you are not currently considered a candidate for either. So just keep job hunting because really what choice do you have?

I’ve explained I’m job hunting. In the meantime I’m in a demoralising situation so I was looking for advice from anyone who has worked in a similar situation and how they coped, eg the response from @Fruitbatdancer (thank you!). Because realistically I might be stuck here for a while:(

I wouldn’t have described myself as happy and settled prior to this incident.

OP posts:
T1Dmama · 04/02/2023 12:03

Eastie77Returns · 04/02/2023 10:44

I had a follow up meeting with the manager. Decided to cut to the chase and discuss the pay discrepancy. She actually chuckled and said “oh that was the of someone senior to you so don’t worry about it” She was totally unconcerned about the potential breach of confidentiality. She then said if I want to be promoted and in that kind of pay band I need to display certain behaviours and skills and showed me a new framework outlining this.

We went through it and I was able to give her a concrete example of where I had met each of the criteria. She seemed momentarily nonplussed and then said well promotion is also linked to me living the company’s culture and values which are very vague terms like ‘being courageous’ and ‘bringing joy to our customers’. I need to show examples of where my behaviour specifically maps to each of these nebulous values. It felt as this was just completely made up in the moment in a bid to justify not promoting me.

The meeting ended with me attempting to go back to the pay issue and she snapped that she has had non-stop problems with “this team complaining about pay over the last couple of weeks” and she has had enough. She advised me to write down my thoughts and feelings about it as that would help me process everything🙄

Thank you if you’ve got this far. I’ve already started my job hunt but in this market it could take a while. In the meantime I need tips on how to survive reporting into this woman. Others have simply given up and left (without a job to go to) and another colleague suffered so badly he had a breakdown. Friends have told me to just keep my head down, do the bare minimum and ignore her. I want to do that but it’s very difficult. Also drives us (the team) bonkers to see her picking up awards such as ‘Mental First Aider of the Quarter’ for her outstanding contribution to mental health awareness!

Well you could report her for her misconduct. It’s a shame that the other members that left, didn’t report her as they left or evidence her mistreatment and open an unfair dismissal case (which applies if you quit because you feel you have no other option.)
maybe if you trust the team you work with not to report back to her, ask if anyone else has issues.
can you call HR ? Your employers have a duty of care to you, to protect your mental health. Could you ask for your supervisions with someone else.

BlueKaftan · 04/02/2023 12:15

Keep job hunting and book in some time off. It will give you something to look forward to and you won’t have to see her as much!

ChilliBandit · 04/02/2023 13:12

Really wish you the best of luck OP, as I said I have been where you are and it’s crap, really hope you find something else and soon.

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