AIBU not to explain why a 7yr old can't go in the gents?

[FlyingPi]

I'm sure this has been discussed before. When we're out and my boy needs the toilet, I make him come into the Ladies with me. Problem is, he's starting to complain about it and wants to go in the Gents on his own. I have let him do this in one particular place where there's never anyone about, so I knew he wouldn't encounter anyone at the urinals. I'm always honest with him but I don't quite know how to explain why I'm not letting him do this anywhere else, like at the swimming pool/gym toilets.
He knows about the Pants rules and personal space and consent but I don't exactly want to spell out what I'm worried about. What do you tell your kids?

Absolutely blows my mind how some neurotic women think men are so dangerous that they shouldn't be allowed into adult female spaces. Fair enough. But you'd be happy for a small, vulnerable child to go into these dangerous, predatory places to spare the feelings of you - an adult woman. The mind boggles.

wtf is with grown women demonising male children? Give your bloody heads a wobble.

They are a vulnerable CHILD. not a sodding sex predator out to abuse your or your daughter.

jesus h fucking christ.

I don't think you should be calling anyone out on their manners. Your comments are downright offensive.

Offense is taken, not given. In your case, taken because you clearly didn't understand what was written. That's a you problem.

My 8yr old uses gents toilets but not all, I do wait outside. However I wouldn't let him use gents supermarket toilets purely because there have been a couple of incidents in the toilets and I also looked after a few sex offenders who hung out in supermarket toilets so its a little thing for me

What if a six-year-old girl doesn't want a seven-year-old boy in her toilets? What if she feels scared or uncomfortable?

What if a six year old girl doesn't want older women in her toilets? Does she get to dictate that everyone vacates? Presumably at that age she's with her mother or another woman - if she is then scared about a boy in another cubicle, she has bigger problems that need to be addressed separately.

My DS has just turned 10 and mainly uses the gents toilets now. However there are some places that I absolutely wouldn't feel comfortable him going in the gents alone - namely motorway services and some shopping centres.

I think most people are like you and the views on this thread aren't representative of my experiences in real life. When my eldest was 5 he wore age 8 clothes as he's very tall for his age - and was always mistaken for a 7/8 yr old. We were in the ladies toilets and he had gone in the cubicle to use the loo, when my 3 year old legged it out of the toilets and just kept running. I shouted to my eldest that I would be right back and he should wait there for me, and went to catch the youngest (there was a lake near the toilets and we were in a very busy park). It was a few minutes before I caught up with my 3 year old and made it back to the toilets. My 5 year old was very upset being left on his own but there was an angel of a woman comforting him who told me not to worry that she had been watching him for me. I'd like to think that's what most people would do if they saw an unaccompanied young boy in the women's toilets, rather than challenge them on their age or their sex.

I wouldn't send him into the gents unless you've stuck your head in there first to make sure:

1. It's clean enough to use without getting covered in piss/shit.
2. There's nobody fucking/wanking in there.
3. There are no perverts lurking.

Tell your son to wait outside the door while you 'check it's clean'. That's what my parents used to do for me and my brother.

You sound a nasty piece of work.

But it is acceptable for young boys to be with their mothers in the ladies. I agree that there's a cut-off point which is probably around the age of 8 maximum, but as soon as you start saying that no young boy can ever go into the Ladies you make life impossible for mothers of young boys.

OP, I didn't tell my boys anything beyond "you can go in the men's when you are 8, you come with me until then". In response to the why, I would just say I want to supervise them.

I would not have let my just turned 7 year old go alone. Not just for their safety but I think they needed supervision in public toilets - door locking, reaching the taps, using soap, avoiding gross things. It's entirely different to using the loo at home.

Women don't think all men are predatory. But some men are. The problem is that we don't know which ones. So for the safety and dignity of girls and women, we have sex segregated space.

No one has a problem with a 7 year old boy going in to the toilet with his mum. Which is why the cut off is usually around age 8. But, additional needs aside, the mother does need to start planning that transition to them using the men's / boys toilet.

Most women manage that adequately. Some women thinks is acceptable to never bother, and continue to take their much older male child into the women's toilet, way past age 8, to keep him safe from other males.

It's not good for him.
It's not good for women and girls.

Yeah. I didnt say that though did I. You did.

There is ONE person on this thread taking a 12 year old in. And, without exception, everyone has agreed that that is wrong. Conflating one person into "people" simply shows up the dishonesty of this argument.

It certainly shows some of the bat shit crazy parents who don't think their boys should start using the men's. That's what it does show.

No, 12 year old boys have not been discussed here. One 12 year old boy has. Please stop using this silly example.

We went to a festival in the summer and unfortunately they had placed the urinals in front of all the portaloos. Even my dd and many other women could see these men having a pee! They had sides but it was a bit of a shock!

Who are you? The thread police? You don't get to decide what I post.

There are people here who want gender neutral toilets so they don't ever have to let their boys go into the men's.

Batshit crazy.

it is perfectly reasonable to teach a 6 year old girl that a ladies toilet is a space for girls and ladies.

No, it isn't reasonable to teach that, not least because in years to come she may be that mother of a small boy needing to take him into the Ladies. What is reasonable is to teach a 6 year old girl that a ladies' toilet is a space for girls, women and small boys.

I lived abroad when my son was small and I would not have let a 7 year old use the men's toilet on his own. When he asked why I told him that some men like to look at other people's willies and he was horrified. He is a totally normal very social adult man now. I have no issue with a boy in a ladies toilet as I understand why a mother may feel the need to do so. I have no issue with a man in the ladies toilet with his daughter either. I do agree though that 12 is too old.

There’s a lot of people here who either have girls or boys that are very sure of themselves/talker etc. my ten year old was tiny for his age and I remember around age 7 letting him go in but telling him to shout if he’s worried or make tons of noise/get out of there. It is terrifying! Same with swimming, he hated going into the men’s, it’s so scary and intimidating so would stand outside and be the most annoying parent ever. Has to be done. And it’s better than bringing them into the women’s where you have people making them feel awful and giving them looks

The thought of sending my 7 year old son into the gents toilets alone makes my stomach turn. Unfortunately we live in a fucked up world where you cannot guarantee their safety.

if we're out with my partner he goes into the mens with him, if not he comes in with me or we use the baby changing if it has a toilet because I have 2 littles too

I lived abroad when my son was small and I would not have let a 7 year old use the men's toilet on his own. When he asked why I told him that some men like to look at other people's willies and he was horrified

Wow

Did I tell a lie? Has he been scarred for life? Are you just keeping on jumping from poster to poster who doesn't agree with you?