DD is almost 2. DP works away for half of the month so I do most of the childcare alone. DD goes to nursery when I'm at work. She has the same routine at nursery and at home with me on my days off - set times for nap, meals, bath time and bedtime etc (not like precise on the minute or anything, but an approx window, eg- tea between 4-4.30 ish, bath 6-6.30 for example).
When DP comes home he looks after her on his one of his days off, and he always changes the routine. Meal times are always later, especially teatime. For example tonight I rang from work to say I was leaving and to check how she was at 5.15pm, and he said she still hasn't had tea but he was going out in the car to collect her older sister from an after school activity so would just wait til he got home. It was an hour round trip so by the time he was home it would be past her usual bath time and she would likely be very hungry. He said it's fine, she's had plenty of snacks. I said could you please get her something to eat on way to collect eldest - he said OK I'll get her a happy meal from McDonalds. Anyway she doesn't really like chicken nuggets so as predicted she didn't eat them and just ate chips instead. So her tea consisted of chips in the back of the car at 5.30 (an hour later than her usual tea time).
I was upset about this as I just feel like that's not an adequate tea for a 2 year old and it's also too late. It feels like he comes home after I've kept to a routine for her the rest of the time he's been away and just messes it up.
I'm hesitant to express my annoyance too much as I know he misses her when he's away - for example when i asked him why he didn't make her tea at the usual time before leaving to collect eldest, he said (I quote): "I wanted to spend time playing with her instead".
I do get that. But this isn't the first time he's let her routine slide and just given her snacks instead of a proper tea, or her bath time has been closer to her usual bedtime (an hour later) etc.
AIBU to expect him to keep a similar routine to the one I and nursery have with her when he's away? Or am I being precious and I need to just allow him to parent his own way on his own timescales when he's home?
AIBU?
Am I being precious about toddler's routine?
justsobloodytired · 25/01/2023 19:34
Babyboomtastic · 26/01/2023 09:23
It clearly doesn't "work for us" because otherwise you wouldn't be angsting about some chips in the car and things being the 'wrong' way round.
Clearly you just don't want to take on board anyone else's view point. It must be very frustrating for your husband if your are anything like you are on here.
justsobloodytired · 26/01/2023 09:33
@Babyboomtastic
Correct; very few family dinners with the 4 of us
justsobloodytired · 26/01/2023 09:32
Clearly you don't like to read.
I refer you to my second post on this thread where I take on others' viewpoints and accept maybe I need to relax the routine a little!
🙄
Babyboomtastic · 26/01/2023 09:23
It clearly doesn't "work for us" because otherwise you wouldn't be angsting about some chips in the car and things being the 'wrong' way round.
Clearly you just don't want to take on board anyone else's view point. It must be very frustrating for your husband if your are anything like you are on here.
justsobloodytired · 26/01/2023 09:39
No, I've spent post after post answering questions and correcting invented narratives
Making up entire scenarios is half the fun of AIBU 
as long as it all worked out alright in the end!
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