Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

It's fine if you have a reasonable explanation for the gap (eg. i was a SAHM, I cared for an elderly parent, I went travelling).

'I didn't fancy working in the Spar so instead claimed UC/burned through my savings/spent six months in the pub with my mates' - we really don't like that.

You don’t see that a retail job is a bit different?

also that makes it even worse that the DD hasn’t got a job!

@NeedToChangeName - Thanks for that link - it was really useful.

As I'm sure others have said parents aren't responsible for adult children so she would get income based JSA (or whatever it's called) as long as she's not married and doesn't live with a partner.

My cousin’s abusive husband walked out on her.
I had to support her going into the Job Centre+ for her UC interview because she had had a panic attack at the thought of it.
She works full time NMW, and was scared she wouldn’t get anything, and would be told she was lazy and needed to get a second job or find a better paid job.
And here is a grown adult expecting UC instead of getting a job 🙄

I'm not trying to be mean but this was about white collar jobs. However the upside of media type jobs is it's easier to plug in gaps in your CV by claiming social media/freelance portfolios, etc.

how does someone giving their parents £20 a week out of money given by the state, so which hasn't been earned, give anyone self-worth?

@Nightlystroll It gives her self worth because it gives her financial independence from her parents. She doesn't have to ask her parents for money, and her parents are not detrimentally affected by her having to stay there a little longer whilst job-hunting.

It is not easy for young people to find jobs straight after uni and it's entirely right that they claim benefits if they struggle during that period. This means they are treated like adults managing their finances, rather than regressing to an unhealthy childhood dependence on their parents, which is very punishing just for not having managed to get a job lined up as soon as you step out of Uni.

Many people have a short gap. She's 18 and looking for her first job, so let's give the kid a break and stop judging. A bright graduate will be claiming benefits for a few months, tops, and it's actually a step towards independence for her.

What would happen if you couldn’t support her to spend all her time applying or the ideal position?
She’d have to get any job and apply in her spare time.

Just to add, my Dd graduated last summer too. She continued her part time job that she did whilst at uni( was wfh) and applied for jobs when she wasn’t working. She got a job in August.

Also does it have to be London? Can she first apply to any other major cities? For example there's a mass exodus of artsy / media type people moving out of London to Bristol

Either she works in a casual job (loads of those around where I live), or you support her. She shouldn't be claiming benefits because she doesn't need them. She can apply for part time jobs in the evenings and at the weekend. Just don't see the problem.

I agree with some of the other comments about getting any job (part-time) if necessary, to tide her over.

From a job application process, when she is asked what has she been doing since she left Uni, it will look a damn site better if she can demonstrate she has been working rather than just sitting at home and claiming UC. To me, that would suggest the person is a bit lazy and not very resourceful.

'sight'

@snowlolo “Many people have a short gap. She's 18 and looking for her first job, so let's give the kid a break and stop judging. A bright graduate will be claiming benefits for a few months, tops, and it's actually a step towards independence for her.”

She’s not 18. She’s 22.
Don’t people say that university is wonderful because they develop independence?
She’s been at uni for 3 possibly 4 years (as partly a foreign language degree). During that time she’s had to work and budget and plan.

If you don’t have parents who can give you a couple of months holiday after graduation, then you make other plans. My stepsons graduated in 2018 and 2022 - both stayed on in their uni towns picking up extra shifts in their part time jobs. Lots of their friends did the same.

At 22, she shouldn’t need a “step” towards independence, she should just get on and get a job.

You elected to give her a 2 month "grace period" before applying for local jobs. But you have also elected that the government / taxpayer should pay her during that grace period? If you give her a grace period, surely you pay for her maintenance during that period? She's just had years of university when she could have been polishing her writing skills and writing her CV. And how do you think people who are in a job manage to move into another job? They don't take a work free "grace period". This isn't "having a torrid time of it", it's just normal life.

I'm intrigued by this phrase 'Get any job'.

Let's look at that.

Let's say a young person finishes uni in May. They are broke, as students usually are. They went to uni at the other end of the country from where their parents live, and sadly haven't been able to secure a graduate job before they finished. The only option at the moment is to move back in with parents (or if they don't have parents they can sofa-surf, or sign on for a council house and appeal to the uni to let them stay in accommodation until they get one). None of them are perfect options but that's life.

So they go back to their parents. Parents aren't rich and can't give them any money. They immediately start looking for a job, 'any job'. Caring roles seem OK so they apply (2 weeks), have an interview (another 1/2 weeks), are chuffed to get offered the role but then they have to have a DBS check before they can start (another 2-6 weeks). Then she has to do some training, it's part time until she's finished that.. so a couple more weeks before she's offered regular shifts.

So you see how it could easily be 2.5-3 months between finishing uni, moving back to your parents' place, and getting "any" job, even if one just pretty much lands in your lap.

You might have applied for retail jobs too, maybe they turned you away because of a lack of experience. Caring roles are the easiest to get into but they do need checks.

How are you meant to finance herself during those 2.5 months if you don't claim benefits?

It's not as simple as "She should just get any job".

It's absolutely fine to claim UC in this situation, and people should not be ashamed to.

Publishing in the UK is hugely London-centric. In some roles with some forward-thinking imprints, a senior person might be able to move to Bristol and keep their job... but nobody is hiring publishing staff from Bristol.

Yep needs UC as that can be income based rather than based on contributions.

I've been on benefits for decades for health reasons and have hardly ever been able to work, so have no contributions.

She could have applied for work from university with an interview over Whatsapp. Plus if it's anywhere like here, there are lots of immediate vacancies for cafe work, etc.
Publishing jobs are renowned for being hugely competitive. I don't know about copywriting. Is she being realistic?

But she hasn't got financial independence. She's dependent on the state. What self-esteem have you got taking from the state? I've done it, I've handed my money over but there was no sense of self-worth. Self-worth comes from earning it yourself.
And 8mths is not a short gap.
Again, I understand why she's not working but I know loads of kids who lived at home whilst finding a decent job for theur future but all of them were told by their parents to work as well. The op expected her to get £50pw benefit. That's 5½ hrs work a week minimum age. That would surely give her sufficient time to find a job during the rest of the week?
Self-worth. 🙄

It is u c
www.gov.uk/universal-credit/what-youll-get

Apply online
Eligibility
You may be able to get Universal Credit if you’re on a low income or need help with your living costs. You could be:

out of work
working (including self-employed or part time)
unable to work, for example because of a health condition
To claim you must:

live in the UK
be aged 18 or over (there are some exceptions if you’re 16 to 17)
be under State Pension age
have £16,000 or less in money, savings and investments
You can use a benefits calculator to check what benefits you could get.

If you've just finished uni or a period of study, your situation is likely to be the same - broke whilst you're looking for jobs. It doesn't matter if you're 18 or 22.

Some students to have part time jobs and that's great, some aren't in that position. Some are on zero hours contracts and not being offered work, some can't take on a job at the same time as studying for a plethora of reasons, some have a job in their uni town but can't afford to stay there even with the job, and have to give it up.

People in this situation should be claiming UC if they need to. It's one of the many reasons it's there. If you disagree, vote for a government that don't provide it in the next election.

Personally I have no problem whatsoever with my taxes funding this to support our upcoming generation of young people who want to contribute to society but need a little help starting off. Absolutely none.

I do have problem with many of the other things the government are doing with taxpayer money, but that's another story!

@snowlolo

'It's one of the many reasons it's there.'

Incorrect, and then some. UC is not there to indulge middle class graduates. It's to cover expenses while you're looking for work. We might disagree with this premise, but she would be sanctioned if she doesn't genuinely seek and consider all forms of employment.

I said she has financial independence from her parents. Which, as a 22 year old, is pretty important.

Her parents shouldn't be picking up this bill. The state should be managing it in a supportive way which encourages her to find work. Her parents should have nothing to do with her finances at her age.

If you don't like it, vote for a party that don't provide UC to young graduates in the next election (it won't be any of the mainstream ones though, because it's the right thing to do, even the Tories can see this).

Why do you feel awful?

she's entitled to claim that while she looks for work.