Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

529 replies

drivinmecrazy · 25/01/2023 14:21

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

OP posts:
Sublimeursula · 26/01/2023 10:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

drivinmecrazy · 26/01/2023 11:00

Hold my hands up to that one ☝️
It's all immaterial as she's not going to claim anything.
I've appreciated much of what has been said on this thread , the good and the bad.
Hopefully I will be better informed and in a better place to advice DD2 when she starts uni this year.
It's all new territory to us and maybe haven't handled it perfectly from the start.
As always, DD2 will benefit from the experiences of DD1 🤞

OP posts:
AIBUYESYES · 26/01/2023 11:07

Saying where you live is not about 'satisfying my curiosity' it's about being able to offer you help.

NovaNomen · 26/01/2023 11:23

Even if your daughter - for whatever reason - does not get any sort of job (and I think it would be good if she possibly could) , there is an awful lot that she can do at home/working part-time at anything to improve her prospects.

As *thing has said, she should learn how to use the standard software found throughout media industries (eg InDesign and Photoshop and Excel).

She should look at online courses for writers and editors - there are lots - this is just a random example: write-mentor.com/

She should also look at websites run by various writer's groups/by certain authors. This blog - it's old, but the site is secure - has an absolutely brilliant glossary of publishing terms: www.stroppyauthor.com/p/how-to-speak-publisher.html
There will be more useful info out there on other writer's/editor's blogs.

She should find out what's being published at the moment, and why. The Bookseller has already been mentioned. The online subscription is not cheap but it really is very, very useful. (Or read it at the local library perhaps, or a monthly trip to a nearby academic library, if they will give her access. Can she get a local library card that will let her read journals online?) If she is not doing so already, she should carefully study the Writers and Artist's Year Book (a worthwhile one-off purchase or again, try your nearest reference library).

She might also like to look at publishers' websites to see if she can spot trends etc and see the sort of written material that is used to promote and sell books. (As an exercise, she should try and write advert copy and back cover blurbs herself, for books that she already knows. You learn to be a better writer - of any kind - by constant practice....) She might also practice translating different genres of writing (adverts, science books, gardening/fashion, children's, cookery... into Spanish.

She should also find out what day or evening courses are available at, for example, the nearest FE college - or even commute one evening a week, if possible, to one run in London. Has she considered dong an MA? - there are dozens in creative writing or similar. They don't mostly lead to jobs or necessarily create better writers, but they will teach her a lot about media industries, and may give her some useful contacts. There are several different types of courses run by different London universities, which would at least put her on the spot.)

Can she join or even set up a local or online book club? That way, she will meet people interested in books and get into the habit of talking about them in a more objective way.

She should find out how publishing works as a business. It's a creative business, right enough, but if she ever gets a job she will find that budgets, cash flow, foreign rights deals and sales targets are all utterly essential. That's what editors spend an awful lot of their time thinking about. Most actual writing is done by freelancers, after all.
(And, just as an aside, you say she is working on 'her art'. If this means visual art, then, while it is useful for editors/sales people etc to be visually aware and appreciative, being a book or media designer is a totally different career, usually requiring art school training. Almost all illustrators are freelances, and most writers don't design or illustate their own books.)

As others have said, she should write as much as she can - a blog or posts on any sort of social media. Also send articles to the local newspaper or free community magazines. Read the blogs written by other would-be writers, to see what they are learning and to find out who she might be comepting with for jobs.

See if she can volunteer, even if just for half a day a week, in a school or charity or church or a big local company to see how books/written media/information or promotional material are used in that particular environment. Even just spending days hanging out and observing in a good local bookshop would be helpful (with the manager's permission, of course).
Similarly, just spending time in local libraries seeing the sort of books that are on display can be instructive. All this can be put down as 'research' on her CV.

I apologise if your daughter is doing all this already,

And I agree with previous posters who say that editorial/copywriting jobs for inexperienced graduates are like hen's teeth. But ANY job in publishing - even as an office junior - is worth getting. Once she has a foot in the door, there are several professional development courses available, and anyway, she will be learning on the job.....

Best of luck.

AIBUYESYES · 26/01/2023 11:42

Can she be more specific about what kind of publishing?
And why publishing?
What does she like about it?

I'm a published author (and an English grad.)

There are so many different types of publishing. What does she want to do ultimately?

Publishing covers academic books, text books, as well as Booker prize winners.
Does she want to be involved in children's books, YA, women's commercial fiction, what exactly? Does she want to edit, or commission?

She needs to show she loves reading and ideally writing. Many young grads will have their own websites as bloggers, be active on SM sites etc.

Copywriting is a long way from 'just being an English grad'.

The reason I asked where you lived is because location does matter. If you are in the wilds of East Anglia, she could look at Cambridge (Cam University Press right by the station), or yes, London.

But right now she needs to raise her profile as a writer/reader and show she really wants to do that.

thing47 · 26/01/2023 12:15

@drivinmecrazy that is a brilliant post by @NovaNomen above, please get your DD to read it, and then re-read it. Some excellent ideas and suggestions coupled with some very salient points about the industry, and what, exactly, your DD wants to do.

For example, having an idea of how images work alongside copy is a useful skill, but every magazine designer I know (or DH knows, to be precise) has a graphic design background – a degree or some post-graduate qualification. Similarly photographers and illustrators are always freelancers, and you won't get freelance work as a magazine or newspaper photographer without some years of experience. But if your DD is particularly interested in the visual side she could look at being a picture researcher – newspapers and big magazine groups still employ full-time picture researchers and she would get to work with photographers and learn more about that side of the business.

She should find out how publishing works as a business. It's a creative business, right enough, but if she ever gets a job she will find that budgets, cash flow, foreign rights deals and sales targets are all utterly essential. That's what editors spend an awful lot of their time thinking about. Most actual writing is done by freelancers, after all.

And yes to every word of this! DH trained as a sub-editor and went on to become an editor of some well-known titles in his particular field, but the higher you go, the more it is about the business side. That's exactly why he went freelance – to get back to the actual writing which he most enjoys. Like @AIBUYESYES he has an English degree (and no further professional qualifications) and is a published (non-fiction) author, so it can be done with your DD's background, but it's a long slog and you have to be really committed.

It's definitely worth writing for a local newspaper or freesheet, whether printed or online. She needs to play to her strengths and interests, and to look for a gap in the market. She could write about local dance / gymnastics clubs or competitions for example. Or photography. Or even about the difficulties of getting into publishing for a new English graduate…

GreetingsToTheNewBrunette · 26/01/2023 12:27

@drivinmecrazy has she looked at the civil service? It’s probs not quite her area but there’s a lot of comms roles and content roles - different levels and can build experience.

GreetingsToTheNewBrunette · 26/01/2023 12:27

Content designer would be good for her I imagine.

OriginalUsername2 · 26/01/2023 12:40

OP please don’t justify yourself and your daughter to all of these nasty posters.

Mob mentality, martyrdom, jealousy and tall poppy syndrome is rife on this thread.

Bristoluser · 26/01/2023 12:44

I'm a content designer and do a lot of recruitment. We're often looking for English graduates for entry level roles in the civil service.

RaininSummer · 26/01/2023 13:29

If she doesn't qualify for any UC it must because she a lot of savings so no reason why she can't contribute to the household budget whilst not working.

threatmatrix · 26/01/2023 17:42

Can’t she get a job like waitressing in the mean time? Why do you feel guilty, maybe she should of thought out what degree she went for.

GoodChat · 26/01/2023 17:54

OriginalUsername2 · 26/01/2023 12:40

OP please don’t justify yourself and your daughter to all of these nasty posters.

Mob mentality, martyrdom, jealousy and tall poppy syndrome is rife on this thread.

Nasty posters for saying a young adult should take any job she can get rather than trying to claim benefits?

The longer you're out of work the harder it is to get a job.

I wouldn't give a job to someone who's been unemployed the whole time since they'd left education without a good reason

CriticalAlert · 26/01/2023 17:57

I'm sure she will get UC. I'm a pensioner with 2 pensions which are measly but just take me over the pension credit threshold. My partner is unemployed, he's younger than me and not a pensioner. We applied for UC but were entitled to nothing as we're classed as a couple. So I pay for the lot..... very very difficult.

Mandyjack · 26/01/2023 17:58

Now it's so common to have a degree it's difficult to get a job in your chosen field, especially if it's a popular degree or not many jobs in that field. Lots of people with degrees now end up in jobs that don't need them and start at entry level. I do admin and quite a lot of people I know have degrees and aren't using them. I also have relatives with more than 1 degree who've not been able to find work in their chosen field.

thing47 · 26/01/2023 17:59

threatmatrix · 26/01/2023 17:42

Can’t she get a job like waitressing in the mean time? Why do you feel guilty, maybe she should of thought out what degree she went for.

She went for an English degree because she wants to get into publishing – sounds a pretty sensible approach to me…

The problem is that it's a tough line of work to break into initially, which is why those of us in it have been offering suggestions about courses/work experience/internships etc. But there's nothing wrong with her combination of degree and desired career.

bigmumsymcgraw · 26/01/2023 18:08

She can claim Universal Credit via www.gov.uk

Outfor150 · 26/01/2023 18:11

bigmumsymcgraw · 26/01/2023 18:08

She can claim Universal Credit via www.gov.uk

She’s barely entitled to UC -she gets 40p or whatever the OP said. My DD wasn’t entitled to UC either.

bigmumsymcgraw · 26/01/2023 18:13

Jobseekers Allowance is Contribution based. Universal Credit is not. Two very different benefits. She should claim Universal credit via www.gov.uk

GoodChat · 26/01/2023 18:15

bigmumsymcgraw · 26/01/2023 18:13

Jobseekers Allowance is Contribution based. Universal Credit is not. Two very different benefits. She should claim Universal credit via www.gov.uk

You can't claim universal credit because you're too lazy to get a job when mommy and daddy can afford to look after you

GoodChat · 26/01/2023 18:15

And when you have enough savings to carry on your social life!

bigmumsymcgraw · 26/01/2023 18:15

You must have other income then as UC is calculated on what income you have

Outfor150 · 26/01/2023 18:16

GoodChat · 26/01/2023 18:15

You can't claim universal credit because you're too lazy to get a job when mommy and daddy can afford to look after you

Eh? That isn’t what the OP said.

bigmumsymcgraw · 26/01/2023 18:17

You absolutely can claim

GoodChat · 26/01/2023 18:17

@Outfor150 ok she's not too lazy to get a job but she's too precious to get a job that's not exactly what she wants.