Classing myself a mum during pregnancy ?

[Essexgal2023]

Just interested in others views on this…

I’m almost 7 months pregnant with our first child - a little boy.

I feel like a mummy already. Of course I can’t parent him yet but I’m always talking to him, worrying about him (constantly) and although I haven’t met him - he is my world.

He is a rainbow pregnancy and I have had losses at 8 and 9 weeks. Although they’ll always be my angel babies, I wouldn’t call myself a mum.

A close relative made a comment the other day that me and DH are not a mummy and daddy yet so it’s made me want to ask the question on here - out of curiosity did you feel like a mum before baby is born?

It's up to you. If that's how you feel then that's how you feel. You are your unborn child's mum.

Yes, you’re a mother.

Personally I didn’t really feel like a mum when I was pregnant with no other children.
I just didn’t, my life was largely the same, I still had total autonomy etc.

But it’s up to you if that’s how you feel, it’s not really anyone else’s business.

I didn't, no. That came once my first was born.

I was a bit naive in my first pregnancy but the feelings hit me like a bullet when DC1 was born. I was much more aware of things with the others!

I don't think it matters though, how you feel is valid regardless of how others feel.

I think the weirdest moment in my first pregnancy was when the midwife needed to make a phone call to another department .She said i got a mum here with so and so .And up until that moment i didn't really think about the concept of motherhood.I knew i was pregnant but it didn't feel real yet.Even after holding my daughter it still didn't quite feel real.You get used to the word over time ,dont let other people get you down

I didn't feel like a mum whilst pregnant with my first.

But I wouldn't comment on others and if you feel like a mum already then I have no issue with it / don't think that's wrong.

Congratulations!

Me personally, I didn't feel I was a mum until I held my first born in my arms. But each to their own, ignore the comments of your close relative. It's up to you and your partner.

I think if you carry any baby within you, you're a mum.

I don’t think I felt like a mother until about 3 weeks after DD was born but this is a totally personal thing and there’s no right or wrong answer.

I convinced myself I was definitely a mum when I was about 8 months pregnant so I could morally use the parent and child spaces at the supermarket, because my bump was so enormous that I had to open the car door fully to get in and out..!

If it works for you great, never thought of it ourselves till our child was born

Oh that’s a good question! I personally didn’t but I didn’t really bond with my babies until they were born, I always felt quite removed from them until they arrived. But pretty sure plenty of people feel the same way you do, there’s no right or wrong.

My DS is 3.5 and I don't really feel like a mum yet! I mean, I know intellectually I am but I keep waiting for the penny to drop.

I also decided I was a parent so I could use the good spaces at Tesco when I was heavily pregnant

I didn't really think about it I suppose but I certainly wouldn't tell a pregnant woman that she's not a mum yet! Seems like a strange thing to say

Mum-to-be 😊

I didn't feel like a Mum properly til I got called into dc1s first Preschool parents evening and I had to sit on a little toddler chair and listen to a proper grown up tell me what she was like at school

Before then I had complete imposter syndrome.

If that's how you feel that's fine.

I didn't really feel like a mother until I was alone with my newborn on the post natal ward in the middle of the night.... The sense of responsibility was suddenly overwhelming.

As above!

IME being pregnant and post-birth are very different. But whatever, I’d not be upset by you calling yourselves parents.

I had a lot of losses before my first so I didn’t want to tempt fate and think of myself as a mum. I had (and still have) pets before pregnancy and feel like a mother figure to them though!

I think it’s really personal and anyone who has been pregnant is entitled to think of themselves as a mum, no matter whether the pregnancy reached term or not.
I’m the mam of 4 rats, 5 piggies and 1 (soon to be 2 dogs) at the minute 😉

If you feel like a mum, then you’re a mum! You’re also not far away from definitely being a mum so I think it’s hard to argue you’re not. Of course if you didn’t want to be referred to as a mum that would be different

I did not feel like a mum when I was pregnant. It felt a bit weird that all pregnancy stuff (clothes, body care, etc) was usually branded as a "mama range" (e.g. H&M Mama)

But other women can call themselves whatever they like, I don't care.

It all felt much more real to me once baby arrived.

However not weird to feel like a mum already and really strange and rude comment for relative to make.

It's not really something I ever thought about ,I would probably have said mum to be ,but mum,s fine
Once your child is born you will.forever be known as mum though when dealing with child professionals,Drs ,midwives ,Health visitor,s etc,it's always and this is mum ,what does mum t hink.etc.

I remember feeling really weird saying "my daughter" the first few times!

Can't remember when I named myself 'mum'.

Been one for 17 years now