Classing myself a mum during pregnancy ?

[Essexgal2023]

Just interested in others views on this…

I’m almost 7 months pregnant with our first child - a little boy.

I feel like a mummy already. Of course I can’t parent him yet but I’m always talking to him, worrying about him (constantly) and although I haven’t met him - he is my world.

He is a rainbow pregnancy and I have had losses at 8 and 9 weeks. Although they’ll always be my angel babies, I wouldn’t call myself a mum.

A close relative made a comment the other day that me and DH are not a mummy and daddy yet so it’s made me want to ask the question on here - out of curiosity did you feel like a mum before baby is born?

You're an expectant mother so technically you are

I was the same. I definitely felt pregnant, but I never quite got that it would lead to an actual baby. Sorry, I sound incredibly dense, but I think it's the same as when you have a newborn and you are wondering when is it time to return this baby to it's real parents. It's just hard to wrap your head around it, and I definitely didn't feel like an actual mum until quite a few days into motherhood.

You can't have a cup of tea or go to the toilet when your baby is sleeping, because they might wake up?
I honestly have no idea what your point is here. Did you have one?

I think you are a mum at 7 months pregnant. I have friends who have lost their babies at this stage, they still gave birth to them and I think of them as mums to those children, even though they don’t have a living child to parent.

What a sweet human you are, telling off a mum whose baby died that she's ignorant to have called it a baby before birth. Seek help, you really need it.

The minute I knew I was pregnant I was already a mum albeit much more real when baby arrived.

Of course it’s fine to feel this way and I’m so happy for you OP that you’re having a baby after so much loss. It’s absolutely up to you how you see yourselves and before you know it you’ll be a mummy with a baby in your arms rather than your belly (yes I know babies grow in wombs but I’m a stickler for alliteration 🤣)

How you feel is how you feel. Personally I didn't feel like a mum until my eldest was about a month old. I loved her to bits and took care of her but as someone else has mentioned it was like I had imposter syndrome. One day I just looked at her and had this moment of "holy shit I'm a mum"

Also ignore people trying to scare you. My DD NEVER slept and I still managed to have a cup of tea and use the loo FFS.

That's not who the response was to, you twisted weirdo. Seek a dicitionary, and stop being so nasty.

A unborn human is called a foetus. WTF is your problem?

Oh the irony of someone telling a woman that her stillborn baby wasn’t really a baby.

Who gives a flying fuck what the dictionary says, being a pedant is not more important than being an empathetic human being to someone who’s experienced horrific loss.

I’ll clarify. I’m baffled that you think your opinion on the word “mummy” is relevant to what OP actually asked. I’m baffled you think it’s appropriate to be rude to people. I’m baffled you think having completely arbitrary opinions makes you better than people. I’m baffled that you have absolutely zero self-awareness on how hurtful you’re being to people who have lost babies. I’m baffled that you think any random thought that you pull out of your arse is a valid opinion to express. I’m baffled that you can’t cope with a word that’s used by people up and down the English speaking world on a near constant basis - how precious are you?!

@TheBigWangTheory I think your comments are very rude and hurtful, I was asking for advice and everyone else has been really lovely in their responses but I feel like you’ve commented to start fights. I do not go around calling myself “mummy” I meant that is what I call myself when I speak to baby in belly or what I’m assuming he will call me once he can speak.

I considered myself a mum when pregnant with my first child. When she was born I had an overwhelming feeling of being a mum suddenly but I'd always considered myself one. DH was a father when I was pregnant too, technically and emotionally

You might want to tell the NHS then… 😂🙄

www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/week-by-week/1-to-12/8-weeks/

Foetus means unborn offspring. Offspring means child. Ergo, foetus means unborn child. People aren't wrong to call their unborn children "children" if they want.

The first time I really felt like a mother/mummy was when I had washed all the brand new newborn clothes before giving birth (PFB!) and was hanging them out to dry.

You can safely think of yourself as a mum.

@TheBigWangTheory are you really going to tell women who have lost their babies that they're not mothers and never were the child's mother? You'd have to have some real issues with empathy and compassion to do that. I'm actually going to stop replying after this but I've given you food for thought I hope.

You are 100% a mum. Congratulations!

@TheBigWangTheory Being a dick to people left right and centre on this thread is a great use of your time.

I remember going up to the special care unit and ringing the buzzer and describing myself as DS’s mummy - felt so weird.

You’re defo a mummy don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

You are a mum... just because baby isn't earth side yet doesn't mean you're not a mum.

What are you supposed to be called baby carrier...?😂

I don't remember when I started to feel like a mum even though it was just a few years ago. I think it's sweet that you do though.

Congratulations.

I won’t consider someone pregnant as a mother. I wasn’t a mother during my first pregnancy I was an expectant mother or a mother to be.

When the baby is born (or when you adopt or foster etc) that’s the point you are a mum, as I see it.

Your mileage may vary, obviously.

My view on this was that i didn't class myself as a Mum/Mummy/Mother until i had my children.

I FELT like a Mum though before my child was actually born but, i wouldn't have said i was actually a Mum. I would have classed myself as a pregnant woman.

But, each to their own.