Classing myself a mum during pregnancy ?

[Essexgal2023]

Just interested in others views on this…

I’m almost 7 months pregnant with our first child - a little boy.

I feel like a mummy already. Of course I can’t parent him yet but I’m always talking to him, worrying about him (constantly) and although I haven’t met him - he is my world.

He is a rainbow pregnancy and I have had losses at 8 and 9 weeks. Although they’ll always be my angel babies, I wouldn’t call myself a mum.

A close relative made a comment the other day that me and DH are not a mummy and daddy yet so it’s made me want to ask the question on here - out of curiosity did you feel like a mum before baby is born?

you’re technically a mum
me personally, took me a couple of weeks after my DD was born

Maybe you only think you feel like a "mum" now. You might feel more "Oh now I feel like a mum!" after the birth.

Congrats on your incoming baby! That's been a long wait for sure 😊

My oldest is 16,it still.feels a bit weird if I have to phone either Of My sons schools and say hi it's xxxx,s mum.here 😂

I find it very icky when women refer to themselves as "mummy". Ew.

I don't think you're a parent or mother until you actually have a child, and a foetus is not a child.

I wouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks, it's down to you and your instinct and if you feel like a mum, you're a mum. There'll be more moments once your baby gets here that will confirm it for you, and many more afterwards.

One of my nicest mum moments was hosting our first big extended family Christmas in 2021 once all the lockdowns were over and realising in a quiet moment between the cooking, hosting, directing and refereeing nieces and nephews that not only was I 'A Mum', on that day I was 'The Mum' - the one everyone else trusts has everything under control and turns to for guidance. That was ace.
Enjoy those moments when they come!

I didn't feel like a mum yet and it really is very different to when your baby is here. However, you're allowed to feel how you feel and it's not anyone's business to tell you otherwise.

You ARE a mum xxx congratulations and ignore your relative!

I felt like I was carrying the little baby I would become Mother too. I was pretty young, there's nothing wrong in you saying or feeling like a Mum. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and ignore these thoughtless naysayers!

Out of curiosity, do you have children?

I think it is entirely up to you how you define yourself and of course you have a close emotional bond with your unborn baby - however once the baby is born is when things really change. You will not be able to sit down for a cup of tea again, not be able to go to the toiler again undisturbed, not brush your teeth when you want to have a nice peaceful bath, use two hands to eat your dinner, get lost in a book or do anything spontaneously for years to come UNLESS you have backup, support, childcare there at that moment.
So the emotional connection is one thing, the need to completely change your entire thinking, planning, expecting and integrate that into your personality is another thing.
And while I would very much have seen myself as connected to my baby during my first pregnancy, this sudden change of reality was something I knew about but actually being hit with was entirely different.

Several. Why?

Yes you're a mam

Just baffled that you have an issue with the word “mummy”. Did your children not call you that? I don’t think I know any (English speaking) children who didn’t call their mother “mummy” when they were young.

You will not be able to sit down for a cup of tea again, not be able to go to the toiler again undisturbed, not brush your teeth when you want to have a nice peaceful bath, use two hands to eat your dinner, get lost in a book or do anything spontaneously for years to come UNLESS you have backup, support, childcare there at that moment

Why do people insist on saying this shit? Of course you can sit down for many cups of tea, you can go to the toilet just fine, and have showers and eat food, and read books. Put the baby down, ffs.

This has hit a nerve. My child was born 8 weeks early and was not a "foetus" !. Ignorant. OP, You're not wrong to feel like a mum, as others have said everyone feeld different.

You must be easily baffled. No, my children never called me that. Not that that was the point, anyway, if you paid attention, the point was women calling THEMSELVES mummy. OP doesn't have a child yet and is calling herself a mummy. Hence EW.

Yes of course you are, you’re just at the beginning of motherhood.

You're 7 months pregnant amd entitled to call yourself a mum, mum-to-be or not. Whatever you like. It seems like a really odd thing for someone to pick at you about. I would guess this person has lots of other intrusive and dictatorial opinions, so they are probably someone you should avoid as much as possible both now and once the baby is here

I don't remember if I felt like a mum, I certainly worried enough for two throughout pregnancy. I do remember bringing him home and DH saying "we're a family now", and it felt wonderful. It took weeks to get past it feeling very strange to refer to "my son" though.

It was a foetus before it was born, and not after. This isn't a matter of opinion, it's fact. You're the only one being ignorant here.

Thank you all so much for your comments! I’m sure once he is here it will hit me a lot more that I am a mum and be a whole different thing to being pregnant!

@TheBigWangTheory I do think of him as my son rather than just a feotus. I have had friends who have had losses at 6/7 months and their babies we’re definitely their child. But I do understand my OP asked for opinions so thank you for yours

Oh, ok, you’re one of those posters. As you were, head and shoulders above the rest of us by your arbitrary metric of perfection. 🙄We’re all very impressed by you and don’t find your input remotely tedious.

Fair enough you can do all those things in the presence of a loudly screaming distrassed child and /or in the knowledge that the child who sleeps peacefully may waken up any time.

You are a mum to be not a mum I would say. When I was pregnant I would have classed myself as a mum but once I had DC I realised that I was a mum now and that pregnancy is not anyehere like being a mum

I didn’t feel like a mum until we got home with DS from the hospital and went ‘now what’! The sense of responsibility was overwhelming.

I'm one of those posters who can actually follow a point? I would have thought that was the minimum aim here, but if that's too high a bar for you, no judgement.
I expressed an opinion, it confused you. No need to be rude to me because you were "baffled".