3 year old member of Mensa.

[Toddlerteaplease]

Article in todays Times, (don't know how to link)
AIBU to think this is ridiculous, let him be a toddler, nurture his interests of course. But this is OTT, and asking for trouble. Apparently he wants to go to university and be a doctor.

My child was reading at 2, she talked very early too. she was accessed for autism at 3 and during her SALT assessment she scored at age 18 for her speech and language skills 😬. She was diagnosed with autism by the age of 4. She continued to be top of the class through primary school (on the G&T register) and throughout high school, got 9’s in her GCSE’s. She struggled socially throughout high school, was constantly bullied and was very emotionally immature. She struggled during covid and she stopped reading an learning, didn’t get the grades she wanted on her A levels. She’s now at uni but is pretty much a regular 19 year old, not a genius.

Theres no way I would have put her forward to be tested by MENSA at the age of 3 😬, I was more concerned about her social skills and how others would view her.

Where is the evidence he isn't doing that?

Your post is just one of many that assume that bright/ gifted kids can't do normal stuff.

@SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth Again a silly example.

It's possible to do both.

I am a member of Mensa as it happens.
I spent many years as a volunteer, listening to parents, for the national organisation for gifted children (started by Mensa.)

Most parents of gifted kids are very sensible.

They do know that their child needs to be 'rounded' but at the same time it is wrong to try to curb a bright child's curiosity.

The child leads the way- not the parent.

I mean all children are pretty much guiniuses. They learn highly complex manuvors to pivot a centre of gravity within a couple of centimeters whilst propelling forward backwards and sideway within a year or so of birth (walking) , learn a language in a couple of years, learn seriously complex mechanics like using a fork to move unfixed items to a set target, which it took years to invent a machine that could do similar, build up a huge database of sound, smell, face and taste recognition, developed understanding of complex social interactions, dangerous situations and fun situations. It's never ending their capacity. This lad has just done a couple of other things that are no more remarkable than what his peers have achieved at his age.

This thread is a great example of the fundamental lack of understanding about what a genius is, and the difference between g&t and genius, and why Mensa is so important.

Hyperlexia and early reading are not the same thing 🤦

Yes, the mum sounds nice. Another judgy OP, she doesn’t know this family. 🙄
I imagine it’s very difficult to know what to do for the best if your child is this intelligent and is very different from others their age. Best not to judge.

The only thing I would say is that my son was younger than this boy when he joined and the press didn’t catch wind of anything - the mother has purposefully gone to the press.

Hyperlexia is when a child starts reading early and surprisingly beyond their expected ability.

He is very unreasonable to aspire to be a doctor seen as though they're treated like crap here, although with his intelligence no doubt he could study or work abroad where he will be appreciated.

I actually think from the article his parents seem brilliant, nurturing but not pushy and seems they took the mensa test more as an experience for him them forcing him for their own kudos.

Early reading, recalling lists and showing intense interests all suggest autism for this boy. The press are irresponsible reporting on this (its not in the child's interests) and Mensa are completely irresponsible using terms such as genius when the aspects they assess (noun vocabulary, shape awareness etc) are not Developmentally important! Narrative play skill, problem solving, social language and emotional regulation are much more important and form the basis of further learning. It just shows how little people understand about what is actually important at this stage.

As a mum of an autistic child I thought the same.

This thread is a great example of how so many parents (?) have a closed mindset and appear to want to knock a child or their parents.

Yes, a lot of very bright people are social misfits.
So are a lot of not so bright people.

I have no idea how this story hit the media or why this little lad did the test.
I'd not have put a child in the media, but maybe his parents wanted their 10 mins of fame.

He's clearly unusual but his ability may flatten out or he may also have autistic tendencies as he is clearly obsessed with numbers and patterns. That isn't necessarily a weakness as he may be a perfect fit for various types of career.

An IQ test is made up of lots of different tests. verbal, non verbal, spatial, linguistic. The overall score is the average of them. He will have skills that are at different levels.

The biggest issue is bright kids who are not nurtured or identified in school. Many of them become bored or muck about and end up with far fewer qualifications than they could have.

I wouldn’t personally have engaged with publicity if this was my child. But we don’t know this woman’s situation, it must be quite daunting. So it’s not nice to judge.

All my three year old does is pick her nose and ask for biscuits 🤣

She may well be.

There is an overlap between genius and autistic traits, the reasoning is different. Doesn’t make someone autistic.

How from a newspaper article do you know that these skills aren't also encouraged? You realise why mensa do the tests they do right? Why is it irresponsible to report?

Well no, you are saying let him be a toddler, like that means he then won’t struggle in later life. Someone of that mindset at a young age is most probably going to struggle whatever you do. My son was an early reader and was good with numbers, he could count to over 100 at 18 months, this was just self taught with him being interested in those things not us pushing it. I remember taking him to a toddler group and he’d be picking up the numbered floor mats putting them in order when other kids were whizzing round in little ride on toys. He was diagnosed asd age 6 and is now in specialist school

It's not really fair to start knocking his family.

They may well regret it but I guess they were blown away by his 'results' and just saw this as a way of sharing their astonishment.

My guess is that someone at his nursery (or similar) suggested the testing and it snowballed, with 'well intentioned' teachers or nursery staff suggesting the family went to the papers. It is possible Mensa suggested it as a PR exercise, but the parents could have refused.

Did Mensa use the word 'genius' @Patric81 ?

Always on threads like this where someone is highlighting a uncommon achievement people seem to suggest autism as if to say see they're not so special this is why they did it, it's very bizarre. It comes across as its intended to negate their achievements. Not everyone who is gifted is autistic, and even if they are why shouldn't their interests and aptitude for learning be encouraged? He goes to nursery and seems to have supportive parents, I'm sure if people in his life feel he shouldn't be assessed he will, not that it's any of our business.

Lots of bitter and narrow minded people on here for a change.

This 100% it’s horrifying

My extremely hyperlexic child isn't autistic but has ADHD. Grew up to become a scientist. I was also hyperlexic. You'd never know it now.

Parents of hyperlexic children, please don't assume they need to go into an academic field. If they enjoy using their hands and want to go into a trade, support that. Being pushed in a particular direction by teachers and parents changed the entire course of my life.

There is a lack of understanding of the needs of children like this. I feel that it takes someone similar to understand and to even recognise the difference between a bright child and a child who is such a huge distance from average.
Exceptionally intelligent children have a really tough time at school, they can have difficulties socially, not necessarily to do with neurodiversity, but simply because they are so very different from their peers. They often get bullied rather than celebrated for their abilities, and it is pretty much impossible for an average school to teach a child like this in any really fulfilling way.
It is hard to talk to other parents about any of these issues without sounding as though you are boasting. If your child is very gifted in one specific way, perhaps a musical instrument, or an exceptional sportsperson , then that seems more acceptable to talk about. Overall extremely high intelligence is not. Yet it can be a huge struggle to get appropriate provision and support, children can be lost and unhappy, lonely, highly anxious. For all these reasons it is not a guarantee of adult successes either. There is no sympathy or understanding, which is why being around other children who are similar and having knowledgeable support is vital.
He is a sweet little boy, and I hope that he gets the long term support from Mensa that will help him continue to thrive.

I agree with " let him be a toddler". It sounds like parental ambition which is spurring him on. Does anyone remember Ruth Lawrence? I think she was at Oxford at 12, and she appeared on BBC Wogan, and sounded like an old woman. Her dad, who was her driving force, was answering the questions for her. Wogan asked " Do you think you lack a certain lightness of heart?" Her dad answered ""She does have it, she does !" Her older half sister was in the national newspapers the same week, saying her dad had tried to do the same to her, isolating and hot housing her with educational supplements, and her mum wouldn't have it, and her parents split.