To relocate to Australia?

[sadandconfused23]

I've been offered a role in my company in Australia (I'm in north east England now) - same company, nearly double what I'm on now. I've just come out of (or at least tried to - it's been hard) a difficult relationship with addiction involved. I'm utterly broken by it. I have a son whose other parent is 50/50 but has said he's happy for me to go for a fixed period (between 1-2 years). I've stayed in his home town since we split to allow easy co parenting but I never meant to stay here long term.

Can I leave? All I want to do is run away and the job offer and quality of life would be amazing but I'm not sure if it's fair on my son. Everything I've seen says children have a fantastic life there. The job move is fantastic and will set me up for a much better one when I come back.

No, too hard on the child.

No way would i leave an 8 year old.
Utterly selfish to do so.

Definitely the right thing to take him

I’d make the decision on the assumption you won’t ever want to come back, so functionally that means your son sees a lot less of dad growing up.

Not saying that judgementally, sounds like you and dad get on well, but you should think about it from a long term view rather than 1-2 years.

It sounds amazing but I’d be worried about the accommodation. Is it likely you’ll get a long term Airbnb? You don’t want to be moving house every few weeks, it’ll be mega stressful and difficult to settle. Have the company said what the relocation package actually is? Could you make it a condition that they find rental accommodation for you?

But nobody is leaving an 8 year old? He'll be with his Mum and have frequent contact with his Dad.

Sorry, I may have misunderstood- you’d be leaving your son in the uk?

Please read the original post again.

Have you really researched the cost of living in Sydney? It is astronomical, we lived there for five years and to be honest house prices was one of the key reasons we returned. Our rent was $70k per year on a three bedroom house.

I did and do love Australia. But on a day to day basis, life is much the same, I think my life has been enriched for having the experience of living there, but I don’t think my “quality of life” was really much different on a day to day level. Both first world countries after all.

I actually think that you should not make this move. I think that you need to put your child’s relationship with their other parent before anything else. Also Australia might not be a panacea to any problems that your son is currently having and furthermore you will be uprooting him not once but twice.

Yes I'd go

I was waiting for someone to come up with “cultural desert” and of course it came from someone who spent a few weeks on holiday here. There is so much to do here in terms of art, theatre, opera, dance etc. and I have always found it much more accessible than it ever was in the UK but hey, a British tourist has declared it one and of course she knows better than all the people who have lived here for many years!

I am Australian and my sister lives in sydney - I would go. You'd love it and he is a good age to enjoy it - if he was older and in teens I would say no as too disruptive but at 8 yes go for it. By the way they do play football in Australia - its just called soccer but its bigger than you think.
Sydney has so much to offer - I remember standing near my sister's house and thinking there is just as much or more to offer in Sydney as London.

Do it! You only have this one short life. It's 2 years. Go have an adventure!

package includes Medicare, super on top of salary, relocation and tax advice

Medicare is the universal health system in Australia, it is nothing to do with your employer. Super on top of salary is a legal requirement. So really the only thing they have offered is relocation and tax advice, but you don’t know what the relocation will look like and honestly the tax is not that complicated.

Go. You will regret it if you don't. Your son will have a great time and they adjust to new friends so easily at that age.

Sydney is far from a 'cultural desert'. Nor is Melbourne. So much to do, and lots within walking distance. Or ferry, or tram distance.

I currently live in the wilds of southern Victoria, in a town with a population of under 7000, and we still get to see travelling exhibitions from places like the Melbourne Museum & the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Even the local rural attractions are fun. You haven't lived until you've been to a Crayfish Festival and played Pin the Tail on the Wheel. People travel from the cities to see such things.

Of all your concerns, losing 'culture' shouldn't be among them 😂

I think you lose the rights to super (pension) if you move back within a couple of years - so bear that it mind.
you should try and get school fees -even in state schools as a non=-permanent resident you would need to pay a non-residency fee - its also really difficult to get into a state school if you are in a short term airbnb
I'd ask for health insurance as well

it is just normal life- yes its nice living near a beach but 1) not everyone in sydney does and you pay for the privilege-and 2) normal life stops you going to the beach 3) it rains a lot.
Its an easier life than say London- commutes are easier and cheaper , people work fewer hours -but don't know how this compares to your life now. There is a lot less to do culturally than in London or in other big cities in the UK - there's not as much choice
I think it would be hard to come for a couple of years as you would only just settle when it was time to get back- personally I think the benefits wouldn't outweigh the losses- particularly separating a child and a parent - it is a long way from the UK.

Absolutely do it! At 8 there is nothing super important going on like exams etc that would be difficult with teens. I think you and son will have an excellent time. Think if it a bit like a very long holiday.

GO!

I think you and your son are living under a cloud right now and such a huge change would be a mistake right now.
You said your son has asked to change schools for a year? I wonder why you haven't done so.
I would suggest moving house, maybe to a different area (so many lovely places in the NE) and change schools. Then work on getting your life back in order, support your son and rethink things in a couple of years.
I ran away from my life 20 years ago and yes it made a huge difference, but my kids were teens and it was my family causing problems. Plus I stayed in the UK.
I just think it's too big a move for you right now

What a fantastic opportunity for both of you to have a new start, particularly as you have a cooperative coparent. Australians are so relaxed it may be just the thing for your son.

You yourself have said you are broken from break up you can’t run away from how you feel emotionally

moving away where nothing is familiar no support for you and your ds and also having to deal with your ds leaving his dad this isn’t the time

I loved living in Sydney but it is very isolating and not all sunshine and beaches, it’s very costly, we are not welcomed by all (I have not experienced an open dislike of Brits anywhere else). I did make lots of friends but was out socialising a lot with other same age but everyone I knew felt terribly homesick at some point

ds had long periods away from his dad and he found this very difficult (not all children do) but being in this situation plus everything being new is a lot to take on board

and asking a group of strangers ? Isn’t this telling in itself

I have very little support network in the UK. There are no ties to here for me, except my son's dad. Hence asking a group of strangers 

All valid points raised though

If you need an overnight nanny, potentially needing a 3 bed apartment.

Manly is a great suburb, good schools, commutable to the cbd, lovely beach, would give you 2 years of the Aussie lifestyle.

Rough idea of rent per week ....

www.domain.com.au/rent/manly-nsw-2095/apartment/3-bedrooms/

To describe Australia as a "cultural desert" is just ignorant. You must have missed the art galleries, film and book festivals, theatre shows and exhibitions, to name just a few of the cultural experiences I enjoyed when I lived there.