To think I need to work in a different school - ethnicity and culture related

[Melte]

I've taught in my current school for six years, and the demographics have changed a little, but not significantly from what I've always known.

I've always been in the minority to around 85% (2016) - around 95% (today) of pupils of a different ethnicity and religion, despite the school not being of any religious denomination.

In the last 12 months or so, I haven't had any chance of successfully managing the behaviour of the older boys. They will listen to and show respect to male teachers of of their own culture, male teachers of my culture, female teachers of their own culture and then women like me, in that order.

I'm repeatedly called derogatory names, when I'm not routinely being referred to as 'man', tutted at, laughed at, talked over and ignored. They'll bang on my classroom window or throw the door open when passing. They deliberately interrupt or misinterpret things I say, feigning sincerity. They make veiled suggestive comments. They get too close, take items aggressively, imply they will touch me, and on occasion outright threaten criminal behaviour.

I've tried and persisted with every behaviour for learning strategy I know and made sure my lessons are the best they can be, but I can't get through to them. I feel unsafe and unable to do my job for the others in this one class.

I spoke to a father on the phone this week who initially didn't believe his son would be disrespectful, before admitting that he does behave this way towards his mother, and I've watched one since September in a restorative meeting with his Head of Year try to assault his mother in anger.

I feel guilty for thinking in these terms, but I can't change the culture and attitude myself. I'm conflicted, as this only seems to be an issue with a year group who reinforce each others' behaviour and are ones whose behaviour was poor when they were younger, and this is their first full year back in school since lockdown.

AIBU to think I need to work in a school where I look like the pupils?

Why can't she post this?

Op I've faced something similar albeit on a smaller scale a few times when a male member of staff has not responded effectively to simply move, intervene and keep girls feeling safe. The boy ( much older) was left in situ right behind her.
Unfortunately the girls mum didn't complain, I wish more parents would because it's the only way people will notice and take action.

I certainly raised it within my place, i went to other staff who did nothing, etc do you know why? .. because they are terrified of loosing staff.

So someone at my level gets totally ignored and I try and stick my head above the parapet but I'm dispensable.

The op didn't post this. NeverDropYourMooncup is being somewhat racist for assuming that the misogynistic behaviours are from Muslim boys, and that the op is white. It isn't difficult to come up with any number of culture combinations which fit op's account. The problem is that the op is facing racism and sexism in her workplace.

I had two private chats with the teacher and he just didn't get it. ..there is also no training for new staff on this.

Sorry I'm thinking out loud here who is reported for drumming this home?

I've experienced this in my school, including large male SLT ignoring the problem as they are treated with respect by these boys (boys who are 6ft + tall I might add). De-escalating, approaching with respect, trying to speak one to one, are all met with utter contempt and menacing physicality. I am too old to leave and can't wait to retire. I pity the women these students will interact with in the workplace and the ones they will have relationships with.

Strange how because male SLT are treated with respect others are ignored

What's SLT an abbreviation for please?

Think about your own mental health and find a better job.

Unfortunately, prejudges hardly ever comes one by one: misogynist, racism, accentism, etc tend to come all in one pack. The sad thing is the grass is not necessary greener on the other side of the fence. I’ve work in very selective private school and you see the same although it is expressed in a subtle way.
Good luck

Leave.

Because I assume the school management know full well this is happening and are not willing to challenge it.

Quite a few really naive comments about how this has nothing to do with culture and religion.

Of course it does.

Some religions/cultures still see women as inferior beings that should always obey men. So of course that is going to lead to issues as it normalises misogyny.

I would also consider reporting what is happening in the school to Ofsted if this is something that female staff are regularly subjected to.

Why would you even think of threatening to tell someone at their place of worship about their behaviour? Seems odd to me.
I'd just stick to whatever behaviour codes you have in the school. Rise above it, if they see they're getting to you then they'll carry on with
that behaviour.

OP I worked in a school like this. As an unmarried white woman with a child I was lower than scum to some of these kids and they made no effort hiding the fact. I had threats on my life and that of my (at that point) toddler child, had sexual comments made numerous times, sneering and leering were commonplace and I recognise the hierarchy you spoke of in exactly that order.

I stuck around for a few years and it did improve, as it always does when you have known Y11 students from when they were teensy in Y7, but some of the ingrained attitudes will never change and please don't kid yourself that as an individual you cannot change that. A strict no-nonsense attitude and generally not taking any shit helps, as does a record book, where you can then quote the exact things said to you back to the parents on the phone that day. Most are embarrassed on their children's behalf, if only because teachers are meant to be respected in their culture.

What's interesting is that, now I work in a mixed sex and mixed ethnicities school, the girls from that culture especially seem to respect me more for standing my ground.

@turquoisegem SLT = Senior Leadership Team.

Racism was part of a culture until it was forced out of people and made socially unacceptable.
Now misogyny is part of a culture and needs to be forced out using the same tactics.
Until there's a serious consequence to it people won't have to change their behaviour.

This is depressing. Can't believe we have let our country get into this state.

Anyway I agree with others - you can't change it, as from the sounds of it there are too many boys with those attitudes in your school. If you would be happier at a different school then go for it.

Children have an antenna for any sign of weakness. I'll never forget being in a class that was close to a riot because the teacher couldn't command the respect of the boys. She ran out in tears and brought the (male)(authoritarian) head in and there was instant silence and obedience.

Being white and female isn't a weakness.

I think this is the crux of the matter.

I don't necessarily think it's the cultural differences that are the problem here - more likely to be how the school is being run. As the SLT are all men, they are not being mistreated and are therefore blind to the issues and are doing nothing to tackle the misogyny that is present in the school. They could and should be doing a lot more to support their staff.

I think you do need to move school, but don't be afraid to apply to jobs where there is a high % of pupils from non white backgrounds. Just do your research and talk to female staff members, go on a tour and see how female staff members are treated etc.

It's about respect

You'd be wrong, then.

Could the OP put on her application for a new school that she is interested in the role because she's looking for more white faces or ask at interview 'how many Muslim boys do you have here and can I not have to teach them?'?

Or does that make it a little clearer?

People will slate you, but this is a thing. I worked in a school where there were examples of what you say and some parents absolutely looked down on women like me

It absolutely is a thing, and I’ve experienced it myself as a teacher at primary level - boys openly telling me that they won’t take instruction from ‘women like you’, and little support from male dominated SLT. It was incredibly challenging with a class of 10 year olds, let alone at secondary level, so you have my sympathy OP.

A no nonsense, take no prisoners approach helps as a temporary measure but ultimately (barring a huge shake up of SLT) I suspect that you may well need to find a different setting. I did, and my own well-being was a hundred times better for it.

@PeachDelany Right. But she clearly says that the children have a hierarchy that determines how they choose to respect teachers - and that hierarchy is based around sex and race (or religion).

Explaining it all away by "teacher weakness" is a bit harsh.

The children are at fault here, and any adult that ignores their attitudes (eg other male teachers who could help address it, plus their parents and communities if they encourage it). I don't think we should blame the individual female teacher for being weak as she is facing such an uphill battle to change this, it's basically impossible.

It sounds as though the school has a dreadful discipline policy. There are some London schools with excellent discipline with this cultural group I think.

Beware that a school with a different demographic could also be like this - you see them written about on Mumsnet. So check out any school you move to very thoroughly.

OP have you posted about this before? I can remember 3 threads since September from a female teacher struggling to teach Muslim boys. If it is you, why keep posting but not finding a new job?

Disagree that it’s not cultural - it clearly is. We are all very much aware there are parts of the world where women are treated as second class citizens and the cycle is perpetuated by children being raised thinking that it’s normal. It’s the school’s responsibility to put in place measures to remedy this very early on, encouraging mutual respect and tolerance from the day the kids enter reception.

If the SLT don’t take your concerns seriously I’d walk, and tell them exactly why.