To think I need to work in a different school - ethnicity and culture related

[Melte]

I've taught in my current school for six years, and the demographics have changed a little, but not significantly from what I've always known.

I've always been in the minority to around 85% (2016) - around 95% (today) of pupils of a different ethnicity and religion, despite the school not being of any religious denomination.

In the last 12 months or so, I haven't had any chance of successfully managing the behaviour of the older boys. They will listen to and show respect to male teachers of of their own culture, male teachers of my culture, female teachers of their own culture and then women like me, in that order.

I'm repeatedly called derogatory names, when I'm not routinely being referred to as 'man', tutted at, laughed at, talked over and ignored. They'll bang on my classroom window or throw the door open when passing. They deliberately interrupt or misinterpret things I say, feigning sincerity. They make veiled suggestive comments. They get too close, take items aggressively, imply they will touch me, and on occasion outright threaten criminal behaviour.

I've tried and persisted with every behaviour for learning strategy I know and made sure my lessons are the best they can be, but I can't get through to them. I feel unsafe and unable to do my job for the others in this one class.

I spoke to a father on the phone this week who initially didn't believe his son would be disrespectful, before admitting that he does behave this way towards his mother, and I've watched one since September in a restorative meeting with his Head of Year try to assault his mother in anger.

I feel guilty for thinking in these terms, but I can't change the culture and attitude myself. I'm conflicted, as this only seems to be an issue with a year group who reinforce each others' behaviour and are ones whose behaviour was poor when they were younger, and this is their first full year back in school since lockdown.

AIBU to think I need to work in a school where I look like the pupils?

Won't it be great when they enter the workforce in a few years time, eh?

leave - and spell it out very clearly to the SMT and the governors why you are going.

Not all schools of boys are like this, what ever ethnic origin they are from. But some are. You also get this behaviour in white british boys too, it depends on the school management and discipline - but as a teacher, you have no control over that.

Go somewhere where you are not abused constantly - your life will be much better, and those boys have just lost a chance of having a consistent, determined, patient and long term teacher - thier loss

Really scary.

I worked for only two terms at a school in Tower Hamlets just like this - I handed in my notice after ten weeks. I was a highly experienced and strong teacher employed at the top of the upper payscale and I had worked in lots of other challenging schools before and have always worked in diverse inner London state schools.

I hated it. It had an absolutely brutal impact on my wellbeing. It felt abusive, if I'm honest.

Just leave. There are academic, philosophical, sociological discussions there are to be had here. It's imortant that these are sensitive, reflective, and consciously centre avoiding racism and bias. But you are not responsible for making this happen whilst offering yourself up each day as some sort of punching bag. Leave. Your happiness and wellbeing is at stake.

This has the potential to affect your mental health quite badly.

I'd be tempted to look for a job in a primary school where the children are less aggressive!

The men don’t want to be told what to do by women. The men don’t think women have anything useful to say, or any right to say it. Rather like our own dear Lloyd Russell-Moyle MP, really.

Misogyny is not limited to one culture. A white working class boy in my class got up in class and told our teacher ‘Miss, you have nice tits’.

This thread is shocking in its generalisation against Muslim kids. Good to know how white teachers really think though.

I didn't like that comment either. And I agree with you that misogyny is present across all cultures in classrooms.

But I was speaking from my own experience of teaching in a school whose pupils were almost completely from a south Asian Muslim background and there was a hostility and contempt for white female teachers there from the boys. I had taught lots of Muslim boys prior and since, by the way, and don't belive that this is a problem for all of them - not at all. But in that particular environment it was, and it was horrific. I don't think that telling the OP she is racist for not wanted to be abused on a daily basis is fair or helpful if her school is anything like that one, and it sounds as though it is.

@Obki dismissing someone’s lived experience isn’t helpful and doesn’t mean it’s not true because it’s uncomfortable. Misogyny spans all cultures but it is more present in some and there are some Muslim countries where women’s rights are non existent. That doesn’t mean that’s true of all Muslim people but it’s hardly a stretch to consider the op’s experience may be genuine.

op, please find a new school where it’s a better fit - one you feel comfortable and respected (mostly - you’ll still have the odd little shit but that’s different to what you describe) and you can use your skills to genuinely make a difference.

@Blooboo I’ve not called the OP racist at all and I actually said that I don’t doubt she has had some awful pupils and that she needs support from the school.

But I do think OP deciding she needs to teach kids who look like her is an overreaction and tarring all Muslim/Asian kids.

I should add that it really doesn't matter what you think the reasons are for these boys' behaviour. You don't have to justify not wanting to be treated like this. No teacher should feel a second of guilt about handing in their notice at a school that is making them miserable.

Maybe it's a cultural issue, maybe its a school culture issue, maybe it's a cheese an onion crisp issue - who knows, not your problem to get to the bottom of. Just hand your notice in and find a job in a place you'll be happier.

@NeedAHoliday2021 where have I dismissed OP’s lived experience? Where have I said her experience is not true? Where have I said her experience is not genuine?

You’ve made an awful lot of assumptions for your own purposes.

You've said that she "must be inexperienced" (she's been teaching for at least six years), and you've said the problem is her "lack of skill in commanding a class". Sounds a bit like you're dismissing her lived experience to me.

SLT are very male dominated, with dominating being the operative word. The boys don't answer back to large men in authority and once they've asserted themselves, they feel the individual issues are dealt with. I feel like this just reinforces the hierarchy.

OP this is an equally large problem. Female teachers are not being supported by your SLT, they’re clearly not stressing the importance to this group of boys of respecting all teachers, and sounds like they’re not giving any real consequences for disrespecting female teachers. That’s the root of the problem. I would absolutely leave in your position, and I would make it very clear to SLT exactly why I was leaving. And the governors. It’s a bit scorched earth, but the leadership is failing its female staff and that can’t be covered up. Would there be any use involving your union too?

Two questions:
1- Why are you still there?
2- Why are you not already looking for another job?

You will not change the way they behave, cut your losses and leave asap

She has said that she now wants to only teach kids that look like her.

I do think that shows she is experienced and lacks skills. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe her experiences.

*inexperienced

But I do think OP deciding she needs to teach kids who look like her is an overreaction and tarring all Muslim/Asian kids.

The OP is facing abuse at work because of her skin colour and gender. It isn't an overreaction for anyone in that situation to say enough is enough, I can't deal with this racism, I'd rather teach somewhere my skin colour won't be an issue. Unfortunately for the OP, misogyny is everywhere and it is a battle most female secondary school teachers have to face.

To be honest, the slt in this school sound shit. Better by far to move to a school which properly supports teachers in managing the behaviour of the students.

But she's not inexperienced. And you saying that it is her lack of skill that is the issue when she is saying that there is a clear hierarchy of respect in operation by the boys in the school is not believing her.

Yes find another school.

This.

The culture needs to change and culture is set by tone from the top. This school SLT is dysfunctional in not supporting its female staff. It is a condoning a toxic environment for its female teachers in not putting the male students in their place and teaching them the correct way to treat everyone with respect. By not intervening and not meting out consequences for the students, SLT is telling the students it is fine to continue to abuse you and they do. Can their respect for you sink any lower?

You cannot solve this yourself because no one is listening to you. Please get out of this situation. If you feel up to it, make a strong complaint before you leave. But fuck it, who cares. It is not your place to change the culture or your problem to resolve the systemic, endemic and pernicious misogyny that has been allowed to pervade this school.

You are unlike to get anywhere by criticising the SLT because these same people who are being criticised will frame your complaint as a race issue by way of a defence. Life's way too short.

Please leave . Misogyny has no place in education. Find a school with children who aren’t raised to believe that men are always the boss.

@Obki
"But I do think OP deciding she needs to teach kids who look like her is an overreaction and tarring all Muslim/Asian kids."

i think you mean boys not kids

Refuse to teach that year group