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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bar three rows , he is perfect. Do I still get rid?

120 replies

published · 17/01/2023 15:06

Basically, as stated we've had three rows in three years.

  1. He left me at a hotel on my
Own in temper because we were locked out and had to sleep in car. Silent treatment for a few days afterwards. Nobody's fault but manager.
  1. He insisted we leave another hotel and weekend away after a row when I got cross that he let me sleep past dinner time . Therefore no food . I dozed off. He wasn't hungry so didn't bother . We had to
go home . He ignored me for a week.
  1. He refused to provide the care he had previously offered, surrounding a serious operation when I pulled him up on being a dick to my child.Again, ignored me for days in end. Likes the silent treatment .

Otherwise he is fantastic.

Still good reasons to dump yes? I can never trust him not To let me down I'm thinking?

OP posts:
RedCarsGoFaster · 17/01/2023 15:08

Fuck that, he falls apart at the first sign of complications in life.

Dump his ass.

Sirzy · 17/01/2023 15:10

had you specifically asked him to wake you for a certain time or made certain plans? Otherwise I wouldn’t expect an adult to wake me.

the first two at least sound like their could well be two sides to the story!

Whiskeypowers · 17/01/2023 15:10

If you have to ask it’s not good is it?
not the sort of person I’d describe as fantastic more like a sulking bully.

get rid

ThreeblackCats · 17/01/2023 15:13

Silent treatment for a week, sulking for days. Are you dating a teenager? I’d not put up with that once, let alone three times. Dump his sorry arse!

TangledWebOfDeception · 17/01/2023 15:13

Well if he's a dick to your child then he's not even remotely perfect, is he?

Seriously. You need to get your priorities straight!

ICanHideButICantRun · 17/01/2023 15:13

So other than being a neglectful, childish, spiteful man who doesn't put you first in any shape or form, he's great?

Honestly, wait for the next leap year and propose to him.

Propose he fucks off

RedCatWhoGotTheCream · 17/01/2023 15:15

The silent treatment for days on end and leaving you in the lurch after a serious operation are absolutely horrendous. He's not a nice person, please dump him.

TrodOnLegoAgain · 17/01/2023 15:15

Did you post on here about being locked out of the hotel? It rings a bell.

Yes, these things would concern me. They aren't just rows- they're more serious than that.

ArcticSkewer · 17/01/2023 15:15
  1. he is a dick to my child.

You forgot that one op

Comedycook · 17/01/2023 15:15

What did he do to your child?

Emmamoo89 · 17/01/2023 15:15

Bin him

Lialou · 17/01/2023 15:16

We're only hearing your side. All 3 of these might have been how you have dealt with it. If you've been awful to him and his reaction has been to walk away and him feel hurt.....we can't tell that from this post?

Beachsidesunset · 17/01/2023 15:16

I remember your being locked out thread. I would've ended it then - how can you trust him when this is how he behaves in a crisis?

TangledWebOfDeception · 17/01/2023 15:16

neglectful, childish, spiteful

This too.

He's not perfect by any stretch. Definitely get rid.

SleeplessInEngland · 17/01/2023 15:16

2. He insisted we leave another hotel and weekend away after a row when I got cross that he let me sleep past dinner time . Therefore no food . I dozed off. He wasn't hungry so didn't bother . We had to
go home . He ignored me for a week.

Did you make a thread about this? Pretty sure I remember it.

Movinghouseatlast · 17/01/2023 15:17

The silent treatment is the beginnings of serious abuse/ controlling behaviour. The thin end of the wedge. This will escalate in years to come. You will start to want yo please him so you don't get the silent treatment, it will become harder and harder to please him. Eventually the silent treatment will happen because of things purely in his head.

These are not rows you have had, it is him being abusive to you.

Ponoka7 · 17/01/2023 15:19

If you are the poster who I think you are, you have been told on other threads to end it. You can't rely on your partner and they don't treat your child well.

TeenDivided · 17/01/2023 15:19

It's not the rows per se for me. It is the silent treatment. That isn't an 'adult' way to address disagreements.

Shoxfordian · 17/01/2023 15:20

I’d have dumped him after the first time

SleeplessInEngland · 17/01/2023 15:20

Ponoka7 · 17/01/2023 15:19

If you are the poster who I think you are, you have been told on other threads to end it. You can't rely on your partner and they don't treat your child well.

Quite, so it's safe to say any advice on this thread will be ignored too.

JessesMum777888 · 17/01/2023 15:20

He was a dick to your child ?
and your asking if you should leave or not ?

AubadeIsIt · 17/01/2023 15:21

No one who is a dick to your child is anywhere near perfect.

TheNoodlesIncident · 17/01/2023 15:22

Just the silent treatment/sulking alone would make me end it. Good communication is vital in a relationship.

He sounds VERY far from perfect, although I appreciate you see his good sides when he's pretending to be nice. But it is a pretence, as someone who can refuse to speak to their partner for a week has serious issues and isn't a nice person. His behaviour as described by you on this thread alone (I haven't read any others) is abominable. And I wouldn't tolerate someone being a dick to my child for a second.

badgermushrooms · 17/01/2023 15:27

However many sides there are to 1 and 2 the silent treatment for days after an argument is totally out of order, I couldn't live like that. In a healthy relationship you need to be able to disagree with each other and occasionally be annoyed about something without that kind of overreaction. DH and I don't shy away from a robust exchange of views but if either of us needs to be in a huff about it it never lasts more than an hour of sulking in a different room.

Regardless if he's a dick to your child you need to get rid, your child needs to know you've got their back.

Coffeeandchocs · 17/01/2023 15:31

If I could ever describe my partner as “being a dick to my child” I’d not be with him. Put your child first.