to think there are a LOT of harsh, angry people on MN at the moment?

[ChamberLink]

I've been on MN under various user names for over 12 years and I am struck by the vitriolic posts made by so many posters these days. It seems that so many people are angry and bitter and take pleasure in spreading this around.

I don't remember it being like this before. AIBU was, perhaps, more predominantly light hearted. These days it's an ugly pile on usually at the expense of some vulnerable person who has posted for advice / help.

There's such harsh tone to so many people's responses and it growing worse.

It this a symptom of increasingly difficult circumstances for so many people these days? I am not British and it's jarring to read so many hard line stances and so many fractured family dynamics.

What's going on with people? Where's the empathy gone?

I don’t think YABU but you will predictably get a bunch of folk coming on here saying

• “AIBU is meant to be robust. People don’t like having their arses handed to them (ugh) but that’s how it is 🤷🏽‍♀️”

• “It’s always been this way. I don’t want it to change. It’s a lovely nest of vipers”

the truth is, there are people who come on here not with the intent of reality checking an OP, or correcting them on a factual inaccuracy; nope, they come on here to find what the OP’s weakness is, and poke and savage it until the entire premise of the post is discredited.

If a woman comes on here to say she’s been abused or hurt by a husband, sure enough the first few posts will say “you chose him, what a prize” or “stop using so many exclamation marks my eyes hurt”.

If someone says “oh no someone has parked across my drive” you won’t get sympathy or common sense. It’s “you don’t know if they’re disabled” or “Be a good neighbour , have a heart”

its just whatever is contrary and spiteful as possible to upset an OP.

Wait til you start seeing the replies on this one! It brings them all out of the woodwork!

I joined late so it's always seemed like this to me. And I guess I don't mind it too much, because I'm still here. If a thread has (lighthearted) in the title I probably won't bother reading it.

And the thing is, if in an imaginary world you were able to arrest the posters in my example above and ask them

” do you really think it’s ok to park across a drive?

“do you think it’s a woman’s fault that her husband is like this”

”does spelling actually matter when someone is distressed?”

they would probably say no to all of the above

but on here? In the Internet world?

it’s all about poking people and making them feel as shit as possible for daring to share their concerns

meanwhile Mumsnet HQ love it because it brings more clicks and more comments to the bear pit: therefore more ad revenue and eyeballs

This again?

I lurk and post but I have no intention of starting any threads again myself (and back in the day when classics was good I had 3 in there under different names)

Some bloody nasty sad acts on here of late.

I agree. You just have to take a look at some of the older classics to see a huge difference in tone. People who wouldn’t say boo to a goose in real life are SO nasty on MN. Shudder.

I've been on here for 17 years and completely agree. I rarely post anymore for exactly that reason. Somebody
posts with a genuine issue and it gets completely derailed by unpleasant posters trying to find fault with them for utterly irrelevant reasons. And that's not confined to AIBU anymore either

I agree with you all (apart from @ClubhouseGift )
It's the hard line posts revealing some very sad approaches / attitudes to family that are the most disturbing to me. Is it REALLY like that?
Are people truly that cold towards step-children? Do people really go non-contact for such trivial reasons as you see listed on here?

From reading the many posts on there it really does seem like a breakdown in the fabric of family and society?

It has become relentlessly political, and extremely polarised (like most sm) ever since the Brexit referendum. There is no issue that cannot be weaponised.

I agree @criminallyvulgar I have a teen now so not active on the parenting parts and tend to stay in Chat, AIBU, holidays and Style and Beauty. I mostly post on S&B which was traditionally a lovely safe place to while away some time looking at things I might not have found otherwise. But in recent months I hace encountered some horrible, uncalled for nastiness even on those threads.

But why are people like this now and they didn't used to be?

I don’t think it helps that people post everything in AIBU when there are topics which would get them more sympathetic or knowledgable responses. But everyone wants traffic immediately so 🤷‍♀️

This

To be honest, reading MN makes me worried and wary of British society today (and I know it is a snapshot, but MN has huge reach and the overwhelming impression is that something is going seriously wrong somewhere

Don't think you need Mumsnet for that. Have you seen the state of british politics in the last decade?

I have come back to here after many years away.
But I dont post much because of this.
And have wandered off to another gentler forum.
I dont need all the vitriol in my life personally.

People are braver on the internet, especially when Anonymous and can easily name change.
But I do think the shift seen here is representative of a shift in society in general it's sad to see.

AIBU is the folder that gets most of the drama.

Go back 10 years and it was the same back then too.

MN is where people gather to exercise their intellectual vanity and petty frustrations.

Most of the posters are more interested in winning an argument than actually being right or coming to the truth of any given matter.

I should know, I've been guilty of it myself under many different usernames over the years.

MNHQ are likely more than aware of the educated, frustrated, egotistical demographic that flock to the forum and keep the finances afloat.

I think a lot of people have become more selfish in general, sadly.

@TrickorTreacle I see a distinct decline and I have been a member for over 12 years. Something has definitely changed in how people are interacting with each other now and I'm wondering if this is as evident in every day situations as it is on here

What is this gentler forum?

It’s not all like that but there does seem to be a lot of you are with me or you are 100% against me thinking. It’s across the board not just here. The Brexit debate, the stay at home or you are a murderer stuff in covid, the nastiness about people who vote differently/have different ideas about fairness, the debates about transgender vs. sex based rights, the vitriol about people on benefits and those who conversely think no one ever abuses them. Polarisation of opinion and black and white thinking doesn’t lend itself to a nice debate environment.

Youre not wrong but there are threads saying the same going back 10 years so it’s not a recent thing

Some things in life have changed.

Threads about neighbours will have lots of
"We keep ourselves to ourselves". Said as if that is a virtue!