Shook up by death of someone I don't know

[Greengables4]

I knew who she was, she dated a guy I used to chat to a bit. I'd seen her on social media but didn't know her in person, though she had one or two mutual friends. She was pretty and seemed popular with a loving family. She lived in my area.
She committed suicide a few days ago and was only in her early 20s. I find it so heartbreaking, even if I didn't know her. It's really got me down for some reason, I like many others cannot comprehend why, but I suppose only the people who take their own lives know why, they have their reasons.
Does anybody else ever feel like this if they didn't know the person? I felt the same after Caroline Flack, chilled to the bone

"Awareness being spread"...as if there is one correct way of speaking and thinking about anything, and you think its your job to spread your awareness to us all....do fuck off.

The arrogance of you people is outstanding. You don't decide what language is current and what is outdated. You dont' tell us all there is a "change in terminology".
When we want to talk about our loved ones killing themselves, we can use whatever language we fucking choose, and you can take a seat and shut your mouth.

Yep. Coercive control takes many forms.

Goodness me. Is it the anonymity of the Internet which attracts this sort of spiteful discourse? I've attended suicide bereavement groups and I've never seen anyone lash out so horribly when asked to be more sensitive to others.

When I was little, people used to say someone "off-ed themselves", even compassionately. I'm glad we've stopped saying that, but I can fully understand if someone would bristle at being told not to say that about their own loved ones.

So, if you want to say your loved one "committed suicide", or even offed themselves, or anything at all, you are free to. No one said you couldn't.

If (what was perhaps wrongly presumed neutral) phrases like "died by suicide" or "took their own life" upset you, you can request that people don't say that about when talking your loved one.

At the same time, it's clear many bereaved don't like the term "committed suicide". When talking about the death of others we don't know (like in this thread), we don't know how their loved ones will take "committed suicide". It's not up to you to tell them they shouldn't be upset.

While we don't know that they may be upset by "committed suicide", I think people thought it was fair to assume there was a higher chance of them being upset by "committed suicide" than "died by suicide" which is fairly neutral.

It's like saying "parent" instead of "mum" or "dad" when we're unsure about someone else's parental figure, for instance. No need to make a big fuss about it, but just pre-empt upsetting others. If someone says "mum" about their own parent, though, of course you should not correct them.

Thank you, excellently put.

Exactly this. I don't care what terminology people choose to use for themselves but I've made a conscious decision on why I use what I use. It's unusual to see the media using 'committed' these days as a result of growing awareness, though I often just see 'no suspicious circumstances' as reporting much at all is less likely. To be fair, it wasn't until I did post-grad studies in the area of suicide that I was even aware of the issue and thought, yeah, that makes sense. The history of how people used to be treated if a family member killed themselves is appalling. Before that I just told people my family member 'took their own life', if I told them at all. The stigma is still real and I feel it often.

My son took his own life and however people phrase this doesn't affect me at all.
I'm still devastated he's gone
OP I think it's a normal reaction to feel the way you do