To ask how much disposable income you need for a reasonably good lifestyle?

[surreygirl1987]

Apart from the essentials such as mortgage, council task, food, petrol etc, how much money do you have for 'fun' each year? I mean things like holidays, day trips, eating out, takeaways, theatre, cinema, kids' parties, and basically anything non-essential? Looking at my budget spreadsheet but have no idea what a realistic amount is. (I've counted all bills, gym and Netflix as essentials btw!). Thanks!

Around £5k for a family holiday- typical Spain job.
I don’t really know how anyone can answer you, it depends where you want to eat, where you live, where you shop, there are too many variables.

😁 sorry… I think I posted in the wrong thread, but if we are talking private education now…

Invest in very good early years education that’s what makes all the difference. DS is in one of the top universities, he just went to a a very good private school in the early years and state schools after.

Another thing that made the difference, I think, was having a group of very competitive friends with nerdy interests. Even his skateboard group that I thought spent too much time partying are drinking are all in top 10 universities.

In a ideal world I’d want £2k a month fun money. In reality I only get £2k a month to cover everything including rent and bills!

Are you happy with the ethos/results of the school you teach at? If you think it would suit both your children would you feel guilty if they didn't attend (conversely if you thought somewhere else would suit them better state or another private school should you look into them attending there)?

Yes, it's a wonderful school, and yes I'd feel the guilt. Mainly because I spend so much of my time on my job... teaching other affluent people's children!

Are the pensions as good in private schools?

Yeh I'm in the TPS still. Although, admittedly, that's a changing landscape so who knows what the future holds for that!

Is it really desirable as a teacher to work at a private school? Presumably better wages but the added benefit of the usual pension? (Although are the hours longer?) sorry completely off the point but just curious!

I'm still surprised (horrified) at £36000 for 2 at nursery. Did you not get your 30hrs a week free (term time) hours? What about tax free childcare?

Yeh, that's what we were paying up until last year: more than £3 a month in total. It's because we had our kids close in age (2 under 2). Last year we started getting the 30 hrs a week (but had to wait until the term AFTER our eldest turned 3) but it is NOT free and nowhere near free! Because our nursery is so expensive (we live in an expensive area - it's not the most expensive!), it barely made a dent. I'm pretty sure we're claiming everything we can. But in some parts of the country, childcare really is financially crippling. I was genuinely paying more for childcare than I earned each day (or than my husband earned each day), so paying to go to work. This is how we've lived for the last few years, and before that we were scraping together a decent deposit for a house while self-funding a PhD. We haven't lived without scrimping and saving before.

do you get the tax free childcare

i’m SAHM, my DH us 100k a year now. Have house outright and his disposable income is £2500. We have 2 boys (7 and 3). I would say i’m pretty happy with out lifestyle. No private school. Going abroad long haul flight (usually asia or us) once every 2 year in the summer, usually spend around £6k-10k including ticket and hotels. But we always going to holiday either in the UK or abroad (europe) in the easter or christmas.

Sorry but you really need to work out what your priorities are ..too focused on being middle classed what ever that means !

Seems you and DH have lots sorted (through lots of studying and hard work)🙂and can start enjoying long holidays. I would definitely want my children to go through the school. My eldest has gone (well about to finish) private school which we scrimped and saved (borrowed as well!) and managed on far less (£45-50000 household income at times). Worthwhile (I hope 😁). You have superb pension schemes (most valuations place employer contributions as being worth circa 23% of your salary for the TPS). By the time you think of that as your pensions and with your savings (pay in £8000 extra per year between the 2 of you for Lifetime ISAs which the government tops up to £10000) you will have great savings and pensions. Uni costs will be circa the same as private school secondary costs per child (so you won't feel to affected cost wise when they are off to uni so can help them then). If you want to give each child substantial help with down payment on a property the LISAs mature when you are 60 (can give lump sum tax free to each child). On retiring should get 25% of pension pot tax free for you and DH. Your pension pots should be worth multiples of £100,000.

So my DH and I earn just over 90k combined and I reckon after mortgage, bills, childcare etc we have about £1,200 as disposable income a month personally (we have separateish finances) and an extra £500 for joint stuff for the house, days out etc.

We probably spend about £4k a year on various days out, weekends away and short holidays. DD is nearly 3 so that cuts costs. This year I'm taking DD to Spain with my sister and niece (£1k) plus a family weekend break in Aug for a 40th (probably £1k when including food, gifts etc) and then will be other misc stuff.

Sounds ridiculous, but I would probably budget another £1k for eating out, takeaways.

Spends on the house fluctuates, but we seem to be doing a lot of the larger projects at the moment so I would hazard a guess at another 5k this year.

So that's £10k accounted for, which leaves another £10kish of disposable that either tops up the other spends about or just goes into savings. We probably saved about £7k last year but had bigger holiday spends and house spends so makes sense.

Perhaps when you free up the money, I would do an initial 50:50 split and give yourselves a few months of 'fun', with the other half in savings. You can then re-evaluate what your goals are after you've had a bit of a break and can get used to your new level of disposable income.

This post has made me cringe a bit tbh
WTF does it matter what ‘middle class professionals’ spend. Pay your expenses, save for uni and then spend your money on what YOU like. Go in the holidays you want and can afford and take your dc out places they enjoy 🙄

Surely it depends where one lives. The numbers quoted would be fine in Hull but not be enough by a long stretch in London or Surrey.

I agree that no-one can give amounts, and we're all different, but that's been done to death.

You might find this financial flowchart a useful outline of your money/life and where you are along the way:

ukpersonal.finance/flowchart/

However, what you seem to be forgetting is that there's no need to spend all this money you're going to have straight away or even set a definitive budget.
In fact, as long as you're not the type to go and put it all on black, or spend it on a Ferrari, then there's really nothing wrong with not really having a budget at all and just winging it, subject to so sensible caveats.

I once heard someone say that each time they got a payrise, or some unexpected money, eg a bonus, they thought of the money in thirds.

A third for the past, a third for now and a third for the future.

So a third of it could go on overpaying your mortgage. This will be a useful way to use this money for years to come - you could set up a standing order for a fixed amount. Once you've paid off your mortgage, then you can switch to assigning your money 50/50 or any other split you prefer.

While you're young, you might decide to save more.

While you're putting teens through university, wanting to help them with new homes, or getting into the position where you might have accumulated more money than you will need in your lifetime, you might start to save less and spend more.

So make sure you're overpaying your mortgage as much as you can without penalties.

Also make sure you have money saved for annual and irregular expenses (home improvements, car replacement, holidays, new washing machine, furniture, Christmas, etc etc etc).

But once you've saved a decent amount, you could switch to investing, or topping up your pension. Also save for DC at the same time.

But whichever way, just set up standing orders and forget about it.
Once you've accounted for all the fixed costs, overpay your mortgage, and saving/investing, you can just spend the rest of your money how you see fit - you could separate your bills money from your spending money.

So if you see something you're interested in, such as a theme park day out, and you have money in your spending account, you can just do it.

Or if your DC decide they want to do a hobby, they can.
There's no worry about whether you can afford it.

As for things like clothes and holidays, you could start to spend more on clothes, but there's not much point buying clothes, or anything else for that matter, for the sake of it. Likewise holidays, do you want to go skiing?

If you haven't done it before, I'd seriously suggest having a session at a snowdome at home and thinking about whether you're fit enough to enjoy it.
You wouldn't want to spend thousands on a holiday and not enjoy it.

As you get used to not having to scrimp any more, you might start to notice new things you want to spend your money on, but there's no need to rush into this, or think that you need to set a definitive budget right away.

We spent 7 weeks in July/August travelling via train around the UK. We didn't slum it and weren't as strict with the budget as we'd hoped but we did it for about £4500 for 3 people. That included some expensive day trips.

We're planning to do similar but for maybe 4 weeks in Scotland this summer. Hoping for less than £3000.

Our weekend aways generally cost a couple of hundred at most including train fares.

Hi OP,
I hope you might have actually found this thread really useful. I think you have overestimated the lifestyle your income level can bring. That's not to say you won't have brilliant times - but you might need to bd a bit more creative or savvy about how you go about it.

Our household income is 45-50k and we have very cheap housing costs but we have had only one all inclusive resort type holiday when my eldest son was 5 and he's now 13. My mum has offered to take us on a sunshine break this year which is very kind.

I think if you feel a resort type holiday is a priority and can budget for one a year you will be doing well.

My older son has however had some great trips abroad based on finding cheap flights and having an adventure. E.g. touring Italy, visiting Germany, Ireland etc much cheaper than resort holidays but cheap accommodation choices.

Hobbies wise we have also been able to roll with whatever was his hobby or interest at the time booking premier inns etc to go to events. we spend around £100 a week on the eldests activities including a £40 piano lesson. Many people wouldn't spend that but some would spend much more e.g. multiple instrument lessons.

It's clear giving your children a good childhood is your priority but I would say think about how you can do that cheaply at times.

I would be tempted by the private school personally purely because I expect it would make your quality of life better to have the children on site rather than rely on after school care at another school. If private school is too expensive when they are older you can look at a planned transition to state.

But to have your two children in private school even with your discount you will have to ensure lots of your family activities and fun are free or cheap and you will have to feel resilient and not compare if your children are rubbing shoulders with some very wealthy peers.

Hello OP - you seem curious about these things, so here's my tuppence.

There is an entire movement, called FIRE. Stands for Financially Independent Retire Early. There's been people blogging for decades about how they go from zero to financially independent - in other words, having a big enough stash to live off. For most, it's about paying off a mortgage or being able to retire early, but I really enjoyed the mathematical modelling and insights into consuming now v. investing and consuming later that their websites opened my eyes to.
Mr Money Moustache is a US blog that's great. Once you are immersed you'll quickly find links to others, including UK people.

The key, critical principle that underpins the entire philosophy is the answer to the question "how much do I really need now"? That's basically your question too, right? There's lots and lots of dimensions to consider, which I think would be useful in your deliberations.

All the consensus is that experiences don't need to be expensive to be valuable, and that investing in skills pays off many times over whereas investing in pleasure doesn't. So, spend your budget in swimming lessons, scuba lessons, diving lessons, surfing lessons. Not on Centreparcs or owning a boat.

I took my kids to Disney. Did it too young. They loved it at the time, but didn't really appreciate what a big deal it was and can't remember much of it today - the absurdly big ice-creams was their only lasting memory. I could have created the same memory by buying them a tub of Ben and Jerry's each and putting a stick in it and saved £4k. When kids are young, all they want is space and time with their family. When they are a bit older, all they want is freedom (still space, sort of) and time with their friends. There is no need to splash out and give them opportunities that you yearned for, because those are your yearnings, not theirs.

But also, don't put off experiences for yourself. You are still young enough to ski. By the time you are 60 you may not be. Or if you are, you may find you don't ever want to be more than 15mins away from a clean, working toilet so you won't go, even if you can. Go skiing this year, and the memory will last you 60 years. Put it off thirty years and you'll only enjoy the memories half as long.

I don't mind if I never ski again. I've done enough to quench that thirst. Finally - don't do stuff just because others do it. It's how marketing departments make millions for their employers ... creating a sense of 'missing out' so that everyone outbids each other for the same experiences and drives prices up. I went to the Paralympics (£20) instead of the regular ones (£120). Still got to sit in the sun in the Olympic stadium in the summer of 2012. Wasn't even sold out. Does it matter now that I saw Oscar Pistorius but didn't see Usain Bolt? Hardly. In my addled mind, I took part in that summer's Olympic festivities and had a brilliant time. Ice-creams weren't bad either, if I recall.

If give up private school. There's just no need.amd given your up being and reasoning is just focus not the good life.so holidays.trips.not worrying about bills ,clothes, foods ,hobbies etc. This youd get to enjoy too.
Holidays are ridiculously expensive nowadays.id want the above life together over private school.any day. That really does eat up so much money and on your earning no is say you wouldn't be comfortable off after it.
Make your bucket list and go show them all the things you never got to. They will get much more out of a safe,comfortable life than a private school.

We have what I would consider a very middle class lifestyle - a mortgage, 2 kids in primary school, 1 family car, eat out at least 3x a week, etc.

We use the credit cards to pay for everything that's non-essential and the bill never goes below 3k per month. It's more often around 5k, and that's excluding holidays and classes for the children. Holidays range from 3k European holidays to 15k long haul destinations.

Hi OP,
I hope you might have actually found this thread really useful. I think you have overestimated the lifestyle your income level can bring. That's not to say you won't have brilliant times - but you might need to bd a bit more creative or savvy about how you go about it.

Yes - absolutely very useful. Thanks so much.

£20k that is truly disposable for our family we do have more dc than average. For a family of four maybe £15k.

From someone who has come out the others ide and is now paying for uni, I would suggest you save it in high interest easy access account. The school trips each year soon add up to at least £600 not including the spends or the new clothes they require. A 2 weeks bog standard all inclusive in Spain during school hols will set you back at least £7-8k for a family of 4. The children will want the latest games consoles by the time they are 7 approx £600 each and when it comes to Christmas and birthdays you'll be competing with the playground mums to do the next best party and dont even get me started on gift bags...approx £1200 each year including the main birthday gift. I get what you have asked for and if you want to live this lifestyle it will cost you. What I would say is if you grew up without this kind of living whats the big deal. Just enjoy what you have and keep saving......

Just re-reading this thread while reworking a budget spreadsheet.

In answer to your question, we're both teachers. Possibly naive, yes - but I grew up in a very deprived household. My family didn't have money for 'fun' stuff. I didn't eat in a restaurant until I was an adult.

In case anyone is interested in an update- we did end up going down the private school route for my kids. We managed to get 2/3 discount in fees for each child, so felt it would be silly to say no to such a good discount. We won't be able to afford anything like the mega expensive holidays described in this thread, but that's okay. Thanks for all your help - re-reading this thread a year later had been genuinely useful.