To ask how much disposable income you need for a reasonably good lifestyle?

[surreygirl1987]

Apart from the essentials such as mortgage, council task, food, petrol etc, how much money do you have for 'fun' each year? I mean things like holidays, day trips, eating out, takeaways, theatre, cinema, kids' parties, and basically anything non-essential? Looking at my budget spreadsheet but have no idea what a realistic amount is. (I've counted all bills, gym and Netflix as essentials btw!). Thanks!

We used to have great long haul holidays when DC was about 6 to 16q Disney and Florida Gulf coast several times, Cuba, Japan they were expensive but important to us. Florida is superb for family holidays. There are three of us.
I'm going back quite a few years but probably about £6-8k a time for 3 people including flights, accommodation, spending money etc. Disney is not cheap but you can easily find out current rates.
We used to have private villas with pools for a week in Orlando then a beach hotel or condo for a second week. (All the Orlando and Gulf Coast hotels will have pools too. )
This was about every other year, in between we'd do self catering villas with pools in France or Italy, and driving rather than flying so these were quite a bit cheaper, say £3-4k at most all in.
These would be 1990s to early 2000s rates, AFAICR.

I'd love to know what jobs you and your DH do that you earn so much but are claiming you have 'no idea' how much to budget for meals out, holidays, 'fun' etc. are you totally naïve?

Private school teachers. Grew up poor, but ended up earning a decent enough salary. Didn't eat out anywhere except McDs and the chippy at all until I was at uni, didn't go on a plane till I was in my twenties, so yes, maybe I am quite naive. I've never been on a family holiday abroad - but I have been abroad quite a few times (mostly on school trips to be honest with work) and even lived in Australia and Switzerland for a time (but working, not on holiday).

I think private school fees x two on £120,000 might be a push unless you are willing to make big sacrifices in other areas

I'm going back quite a few years but probably about £6-8k a time for 3 people including flights, accommodation, spending money etc.

Whoah!! Okay, I have definitely underestimated. This thread has taught me that private school is officially off the table anyway, if we want holidays to Disney etc! Thank you.

No they don’t. That’s more than a lot of people actually earn.

We don’t actually budget, we do it case by case. Can we afford this meal out? That holiday? How we spend money left over after essential expenditure is quite fluid.

If you teach in private schools you may get a large discount on fees.

Are you worried about depriving your DC of memories and experiences because you grew up poor so you’re not sure how much you’re ‘supposed’ to take them out for them to have the best childhood?

I’m nowhere near as well off as you, but I worry about this all the time so end up yoyo-ing between massively overspending on days out and holidays and then being too frugal for a while because I think I should be saving for their future. I just don’t know where the middle ground is!

Depends. About 6k here when mortgage, pensions and council tax have gone out. Rest goes on food, cars, mobiles, holiday savings. We save about 1.5k. Large family so everything costs more so we spend more than someone else would with our disposable.

I think private school fees x two on £120,000 might be a push unless you are willing to make big sacrifices in other areas

Yes, this is part of what I'm wondering. We do get hefty discounts at our private schools (staff) but even so, we don't want to finally have money and then not be able to enjoy it because it's all going on school fees. As much as it frustrates me I think we'll have to park private school (at least until secondary. We want to enjoy life and not carry on scrimping and saving!

Depends. About 6k here when mortgage, pensions and council tax have gone out.

Oh okay! That's not bad! I was thinking £10k when I was looking at my budget initially, and was thinking that's lots left over for investing or private school fees (although based on some answers on this thread I'm not sure if that's unrealistic).

Impossible to say, as everyone's "lifestyle" is different. So I would prioritise spending on holidays, books, going to the theatre - all essentials to me.
But I gave never ordered a takeaway, don't spend money on things like having nails done, hardly ever buy make up.

Think about what you like to do, and take it from there.

Not sure what you are hoping to gain from this thread TBH. What I would need is not what others would need. My idea of a "good lifestyle" doesn't involve multiple holidays abroad as I'm quite happy with a few weekends away each year, likewise cinema trips and theatres are not on my radar. I earn 21K a year DP around the same. We have enough to live on and enough to spend as we want. We wouldn't be able to afford the things you like but that's fine because it's not stuff we want to do.

@surreygirl1987 FWIW our take home is about £6k (ish) pcm and we could just about put one DC through private secondary, but can only do so if our mortgage is below £2k. (And that is with saving half the fees before they actually start).

If we have another DC or a larger mortgage private school would be out of the question.

*Are you worried about depriving your DC of memories and experiences because you grew up poor so you’re not sure how much you’re ‘supposed’ to take them out for them to have the best childhood?

I’m nowhere near as well off as you, but I worry about this all the time so end up yoyo-ing between massively overspending on days out and holidays and then being too frugal for a while because I think I should be saving for their future. I just don’t know where the middle ground is!*

I worry about this too - I totally hear where you're coming from. I'm desperate to give my boys a lovely childhood but also set them up for the future (whether through savings, investments or private school). I'm just not sure what the best balance is or what is 'normal' for middle class professionals.

@surreygirl1987 you did say reasonably good lifestyle! I would budget 10k annual of that for holidays which would leave 26k for all personal spends, hobbies, eating out, days out, house projects etc. Do you have kids? it's all so bloody expensive.

If you get staff discounts that would be a great help though.

A lot of people near us attend local schools until c. Y3 and then go to independent schools and it seems to work well. Those first few years could allow you to experiment with your spending/saving ideas and hopefully build up some money to cushion the more expensive later school years IF you chose the independent route. If not, and you you discover you love long haul holidays, for example, you would have a pot to put towards that/invest in your pension/etc?

*@surreygirl1987 FWIW our take home is about £6k (ish) pcm and we could just about put one DC through private secondary, but can only do so if our mortgage is below £2k. (And that is with saving half the fees before they actually start).

If we have another DC or a larger mortgage private school would be out of the question.*

Many thanks - we sound very similar financially. Do you find you are able to live a pretty good lifestyle or do you feel the pinch?

Based on your list of things you’d like to afford I’d say you need about £1200 per month after bills and food etc.

Honestly, if you’ve not had money before and you’re going to have spare money when nursery ends… I would save it / overpay on your mortgage!
lifestyle inflation as it’s called is very tricky - spending can really inflate to take up all available space !

and as for £3k a month as someone said - hahaha that’s funny, seeing as it’s more than I earn net in a month. See OP? It’s all very personal.

I would summarise: don’t spend more than you can afford, but also don’t spend more than you need in order to be happy. Maybe experiment - go on one of these abroad family holidays. Then consider whether you thought it was worth the money.

If you get staff discounts that would be a great help though
Yes, we'd never in a million years be able to manage it otherwise, for 2 kids.

Your idea of Y3 is a good one and one we've considered. The first year is almost free anyway for my first child (long boring story why) so it's only a couple of additional years to pay for until then.

Totally depends what kind of fun extra you want to do. We probably spend £20k per year on fun, non essentials.

I would say £120k per year isn’t enough to send two kids to private school these days unless you have a very small/no mortgage or the schools near you are particularly cheap.

Assuming that you are genuine then holidays in school holiday time with children who aren't babies are the biggest expense.

So a nice holiday in the summer for a week is a minimum £4/5 grand. Disney in school holidays for a fortnight minimum £10 grand. Even a cottage in UK is a grand, with money on top for stuff.

Holidays with school age children cost a fortune.

In your situation I'd say £1,000 a month in holidays fund, £1000 in meal out, birthday parties, nice clothes, and all extras fund. And save £1000.

If you currently spend £3K a month on nursery/childcare, I’d aim to save half that (mortgage, pensions, savings, investments) and see how you go on £1,500 a month to portion out to other stuff. Holidays are a huge chunk of expenditure in a year, as are children’s activities as they get older.

Having 1150 between us left for spends was comfortable. Couldn’t do every single thing you’d ever want to do but could eat out as a family once a week, cinema/swimming etc whenever we wanted. Day trips every school holidays, could get higher end high street clothes and make up. Could go out a couple of times a month with our own friends. This was for a couple and two kids in SW London.
We had separate pots for thing like kids clubs/holidays/food/savings/Xmas and birthdays.
Could of course have done with a lot less (and have)
but that’s the point I began to feel very financially comfortable.

you need to work out what you want to do - will you get enough enjoyment from the classic 5k middle class all inclusive holiday for it to be worth it, or would you rather a 1.5k hoseasons break? Etc.

we have a lot of disposable income but don’t splash out very much at all as you never know what’s around the corner. I also hate a lot of standard leisure activities like theme parks etc as I think it’s a lot of money for what you get.