To ask how much disposable income you need for a reasonably good lifestyle?

[surreygirl1987]

Apart from the essentials such as mortgage, council task, food, petrol etc, how much money do you have for 'fun' each year? I mean things like holidays, day trips, eating out, takeaways, theatre, cinema, kids' parties, and basically anything non-essential? Looking at my budget spreadsheet but have no idea what a realistic amount is. (I've counted all bills, gym and Netflix as essentials btw!). Thanks!

Yes, I think about this

Haha we have a similar household income and haven't ruled out independent school for our two but the pony is here to stay. Might need to sell a kidney...
We pay ourselves first, so a standing order of £250 each to a S&S ISA, rounding up mortgage payment (smallish mortgage) and overpaying on pension. We eat out (pizza) once a month, max and maybe get a takeaway (cheapie fish and chips or a kfc) once a fortnight. I'm planning on sorting a car, uni and house deposits for them (first two are underway) so I prioritise longer term goals, but we are going to Disney this year (it's f-ing expensive and lots more than £10k even with indirect flights and an Airbnb when you include spending money).
For clubs we do swimming (£20 a month each), dance £6 a week and gym £7 each a week plus the pony kept on a shoestring (although competitions and kit cost a fair bit). We pay £125 for each child for three days of wraparound care, a lot cheaper than nursery was. I work full time but flexibly to manage the other two days.

I appreciate you will receive a staff discussion, but please do add up all the extras that are added to bills each term. School trips and exam fees, music lessons etc are incredibly expensive as is the uniform. Also do really good at the difference between prep fees and senior school - especially 6th form - which is eye watering and that’s before potential loss of charitable status? Also if your children start there you are both ‘trapped’ by the discount at at least one of you would need to stay working there until the children finish school, which is quite daunting.

When you’re not paying childcare I’d put the maximum £20k in an ISA every year. Then overpay your mortgage as much as you can. You don’t need to eat out lots or spend lots of money to have a good life . One annual holiday and some days out are enough. A few activities/sporting interests for your children.
Financial security for their future is the most important thing you can do for your children.

You need at least 3k for holiday and maybe a few hundred a month if you want to have outings - however you can do things much more cheaply if you wanted for example using national trust membership for days out ( we use ours lots) it’s a very individual thing!

@Blossomtoes I didn't say it had to cost that though I just know what colleagues & friends pay.

The biggest difference you will find @surreygirl1987 is that the mc lifestyle is very often subsidised by family. Eg help with school fees, paid holidays, old car given when new car is bought, cheap loan or gift for home improvements, deposit for gc's house etc. If you don't have that you will feel the disparity in lifestyle more even if earning more plus it would be prudent to save more.

that's a lot of mores!

Oh help how is childcare for children £36000 a year (especially if you're about to come out of the nursery system)? Have you not been claiming your 30 free hours a week term time?

We’re not too dissimilar to you income wise and when it comes to ages of children. Our fun money budget is roughly this:

£500pm - general monthly spending (takeaways, coffees, days out, cinema etc.)
£100pm - extra curriculars for the dc

We then put the following away per month:
£200pm - Christmas (includes presents, food, panto, Santa etc.)
£125pm (£750 per child including a party, presents, cake etc.)
£750pm - Holidays (2 weeks AI tends to come to about 6k, then about 3k for a week in Center parcs and a week in a caravan)

The above is £1675 per month, or £20,100 per year which is scary to see written down. I wouldn’t save it feels particularly lavish, but we are comfortable and tend to do all of the things we like doing.

If you want holidays like Disney, you’re looking at 15k for 2 weeks now in school holidays with the way the exchange is. Pre covid, it would have been 12k. A week skiing is 8k. We try and save and do one every 2-3 years and make up the difference between our 6k All inclusive holiday.

@surreygirl1987
I think in percentages.

My outgoings come to 75%. (I include in this everything I MUST pay: mortgage, bills, food, insurances, petrol etc). I consider overpaying the mortgage a MUST, so it’s added to this 75%.

On the day I get paid, 15% of my income goes straight into long term savings.

I save 10% of my income for ‘stuff’, like holidays, memberships, hobbies, clothes, etc. In effect, I pay myself a 13th salary.

I have a salary account.
A bills account.
A grocery account.
A 13th salary account (haircut, clothes, memberships, sports gear, books etc).
A ‘this is the account I spend from when the shit hits the fan’ (think washing machine, expensive car service, boiler )

I don’t borrow from my other accounts. I don’t have an overdraft.

HTH.

PS. I have never in my life spent £5000 on a holiday, and I do go abroad at least twice a year. I use easyJet holidays, I have never paid more than £500 pp for 10 days, £200 for a long weekend. The trick is buying at the right time, between Christmas and new year is a good time.

HTH

I agree with this. I sympathise with your position actually - it's not easy to be the first generation to earn good money. There's a lot of unknown unknowns. As a rough guide for primary school kids I'd say...

1 week short-haul aboard family holiday £5k AI
2 weeks Disney Florida £10k.
Long weekend Disney Paris £4K.
Camping U.K. £200/week
Self catering cottage U.K. £1000/week + food

Swimming lessons £30/month
Karate/ballet/gymnastics £30-40/month
Cubs/brownies cheaper £10/month

Random day at trampoline park / bowling etc £50-100
Family swim session £15+

Birthday party involving an entertainment venue eg bowling/agility £15-22 per child. So £200-300 for 10 ish kids. Whole class party at a village hall + entertainment end up similar price.

A decent kids bike will cost you £150-300+
School shoes £30-50
A weeks worth of Next/M&S uniform £50

I have a good lifestyle and have nowhere near the amount of disposal income mentioned on this thread. But I'm single and only have one child (teenage) so we don't do many days out or holidays any more, teen DS doesn't want to hang around with boring mum.

I would go for private school with 50% off fees. That's brilliant, especially if what you were saying earlier its only costing you £8000 per year for 2 children more than state schooling (I assume that is because school meals and after school wrap around care is included).

I would go for private school with 50% off fees. That's brilliant, especially if what you were saying earlier its only costing you £8000 per year for 2 children more than state schooling (I assume that is because school meals and after school wrap around care is included).

Yes that's right. So an increase of £4k per year for each child in comparison to the state primary. But of course that's only for prep - it's an additional £10k a year for seniors which is horrendous (although still affordable depending on lifestyle). My head is currently in such a muddle about it, especially following this thread! 'Life' seems likely to be far more expensive than I'd anticipated, so I know we'll have to compromise on something, whether that's education, holidays, savings or investments.

I really appreciate the responses on this thread (well, most of them anyway - less so the ones implying I'm an idiot for having to ask this question!). I have so much to think about now. I just want to do my best for my kids and many of you have provided really useful insight into expenditure, so thank you.

The one thing I would be concerned about (but this will be me projecting as I get very itchy feet and like to change around my role quite regularly!) but would you worry about being tied to the school for a very long time? If you wanted a change in scenery or career?

Is the £10000 per child or for both at secondary?

Not read thread but for us about 2 more grand a month and I'd be happy!
Never spent 3 on a holiday.

I would want both children to go all through for private schooling. You should both be getting great teacher pensions . For investments seriously check out Lifetime ISAs you can each okay in £4000 and the government tops it up to £5000. That means £10000 a year . I'm still surprised (horrified) at £36000 for 2 at nursery. Did you not get your 30hrs a week free (term time) hours? What about tax free childcare?

Please look at maxing out allowances (feel you've lost out a lot in the past that you should have got).

Are the pensions as good in private schools?

Teachers in private schools can enrol on standard (generous) teacher pension schemes.

@yoyo1234 thank you, I was just being nosey!

if you asked me 10 years ago, I would say about 1000. Now I have a tiny portion of that and live much better.

Putting it someway, failing to increase my income I decreased my expenses. We have lots of days out to the beach, the hills or free museums (with a packed lunch), lots of visits to restaurants (mainly for brunch rather than dinner these days). both DS and I are wonderful to find nice bargains so he wished for nothing. I like nice home stuff and clothes, so love charity shops… you won’t believe how much designer stuff I have found over the years!

Are you happy with the ethos/results of the school you teach at? If you think it would suit both your children would you feel guilty if they didn't attend (conversely if you thought somewhere else would suit them better state or another private school should you look into them attending there)?