I’ve name changed as I’m actually a bit embarrassed having added this all up. We are in a completely different financial situation to you as our income is much lower, but some fairly basic set costs:
(We have three children)
Swimming lessons: £115 per child per term. £115x3x3= £1035 per year
Dance lessons. 3 per week for the older two, who get a multi class and sibling discount. £100 per month. 1 per week for the youngest. £68 per term. They like to do a one week summer school as well which is £150 each. 1200+204 +450=£1854 a year. The second hand uniform is easily £200 a year extra, plus exam fees as and when plus extortionate tickets to their yearly show and I reckon we’re nearer £2200 per year. 😬
Hockey session once a week. £3 each. 9x50= 450. They only do a few matches but £5 each fee per match. £45. Kit/sticks/gumguards roughly £100 a year. One ‘hockey camp’ day a year £60 each. 450+45+100+180= £775 per year.
Worth noting that Breakfast club (everyday) and afterschool care (twice a week) costs us on average £700 a month for school months, so £7000 a year.
Holiday care is exceedingly expensive but you won’t have this cost.
We take one 2 week holiday to France a year, we don’t pay for accommodation (which is what makes this doable) ferry crossing, fuel and a few meals out/3 big days out - it costs £2000.
We camp in Cornwall for one half term and this costs about £500.
Kids are at a state primary school and take 3 day residential trips each year which are awesome but cost £230 each. They also swim as PE for a term every year in school time which costs £60 each. School dinners in the winter are £12 a week each for 15 weeks. 690+ 180 + 540= £1420. Uniform is necessary rather than fun but make sure your budget is up to date. Clarks school shoes are £45 each and they get through two pairs each a year so £270! Uniform £100x3 a year. I dread to think what secondary costs will be.
We gave up on music lessons very quickly as we couldn’t really afford them and the kids weren’t that keen, but they cost £15 each per week plus instrument hire. So would have been £2500!!
We actually are out for lunch earlier as a treat at Prezzos. Lunch for the five of us came to £85 and we’re not near London. That could add up very quickly if you’re doing it often. Theatre costs £150 each time, we go once a year.
I’ve had a look back and as well as the activities I’ve listed we spent over £3000 on days out last year- a bit of an eye opener for me- but it adds up very quickly. Eg. For one day: Fuel + Go ape + forest parking + coffee + bike hire was £220. In one day… and we’d taken a picnic 😄. Even soft play for a couple of hours is £50.
I definitely can’t help with expensive holiday costs as we can’t afford it. My parents always scrimped and saved and we never did anything- they then lost money later on so we never reaped the benefits.
I very much opt to throw every spare penny at giving my children the best experiences that I can, but it may well be overkill. So £10k without snazzy holidays or frequent theatre for us- hope that helps a bit!