To ask how much disposable income you need for a reasonably good lifestyle?

[surreygirl1987]

Apart from the essentials such as mortgage, council task, food, petrol etc, how much money do you have for 'fun' each year? I mean things like holidays, day trips, eating out, takeaways, theatre, cinema, kids' parties, and basically anything non-essential? Looking at my budget spreadsheet but have no idea what a realistic amount is. (I've counted all bills, gym and Netflix as essentials btw!). Thanks!

We feel comfortable, but definitely not ‘spend what we want without thinking’. Everything is budgeted for.

But, our lifestyle is pretty nice, we use the holiday budget for a main holiday and a smaller break. We eat out at normal local restaurants a few times a month and don’t think twice about buying coffees / cakes when out and about. Nice days out are also very doable. Our house is a 4 bed semi in a ‘nice’ area but nothing spectacular.

We recognise we’re in a nice position, but everything is so expensive and rising. For example, we’ve kept the heating on as needed,
but we’re still concerned that we might need to cut back in other areas. VAT on school fees would be a big concern combined with everything else…

Wtf. Who spends 12 grand a year on holidays and a grand a month of eating out and birthday parties when they earn what rhe op does.

How is the 120k split as in what's the take home? Depending on housing private school may be a struggle for 2.

I don't quite have 3k a month spare but feel like I need it as I can never afford the holidays I want. It really depends on personal tastes as I like nice things but don't spends much on treatments or alcohol.

Obviously school if state is far cheaper than nursery but it still adds up. Mine do clubs & instruments & then there are school trips & clubs during holidays so it still adds up. Just clubs & music is about £500 a term. Theatre trip £400 for 4 for normal seats.

A summer holiday is easily 5-6k & that's not 5*

I'm desperate to give my boys a lovely childhood but also set them up for the future (whether through savings, investments or private school). I'm just not sure what the best balance is or what is 'normal' for middle class professionals.

The best way to set them up for the future is to save. Then you can help them if they need it.

There is no 'normal for middle class professionals' - people are all different.

Expensive holidays are no more middle class than going camping. There are middle class people doing both these things.

You would be well-advised to try to focus on what you really value, rather than trying to live an imagined lifestyle.

worry about this too - I totally hear where you're coming from. I'm desperate to give my boys a lovely childhood but also set them up for the future (whether through savings, investments or private school). I'm just not sure what the best balance is or what is 'normal' for middle class professionals
We went for the moving to a good state school catchment area option, and spent our income on amazing holidays, days and meals out every weekend any clubs or extra curricula activities our DC wanted to do. They went to good universities and now have rewarding careers they are happy in.
What I didn’t do is wonder what other families were doing, I only thought of what was right for my family.

Yep clubs and activities can really add up. Music lessons £400 a term. Sports subscription few hundred a year.

And those activities are really valuable if possible to do, plus expensive equipment.

But it really is holidays which are so expensive

That’s per month and we don’t do private schools. We do what the person above has said. Good uni, nice holiday, decent state school.

The people I know who do 3 big holidays a year earn a lot more than £120k. Likewise while it’s true Disney can cost £10k, it’s not the sort of trip many people do every year.

On the plus side as teachers you won't need crippling expensive holiday clubs.

And if the children are in state school, you will have a couple of weeks a year where you can relax off work without the children

I think it depends on so many things(mortgage, where you live in the country etc)that it is impossible for anyone other than yourselves to set these budgets.
I would say I think private school for two children would be a stretch if you also want frequent meals out and holidays etc.

We has a 20k holiday for many years and would go
on for example a long haul holiday to somewhere such as a Cape Town Feb half term at Easter, a 10-14 day summer med holiday on a hotel or on a cruise, a Center Parcs Monday to Friday break with loads of activities and eating out and a little twixmas break to somewhere like Dublin or a posh UK country hotel.
We are out each weekend, had a Merlin passes and a family health club membership so weekends were full of doing fun stuff.
My DH prioritised have a fun and stressful as possible life as possible.
OP in your shoes I’d be tempted to go down the private school route because of the discount you get ( I love a good deal). Also as you work in a private school I think it would be on your mind all the time that your DC could be there.

That should say have a 20k holiday budget.

Tbh holidays etc are lovely but imo the biggest thing you can do for your kids is get them on the property ladder . I appreciate that is in the distant future but there is no guarantee your kids will be high earners so they'll be at the mercy of shitty landlord of awful housing insalubrious areas .
A friend of mine bought her kids everything over the years and not one thing was of long term benefit . Now one daughter is living in a run down flat and the other has had to move in to boyfriends parents as they can't afford to buy . All of us thought what a waste of money over the years when the kids to have had a leg up onto the property ladder .

I"'m a single parent with one child (18) on considerably lower income than you - around £40k

I think we have a 'fun' life, we've just come back from a fabulous long weekend in Edinburgh, have two UK holidays booked for the summer.
We go to gigs,theatre, sports events, eat out occasionally at local places, frequent Starbucks a bit too often, have breakfast out once a week. I don't skimp on the food quality.
But I have no interest in big houses, cars, designer clothes and handbags, even if I could afford it I wouldn't spend £10k on a holiday to Disney world.
So its really about what sort of lifestyle you want, not what anyone else does

What I CAN tell you is two children at independent school will be tight on £120k

Nor impossible but tricky.

I work at an independent school and assess financial assistance applications and we’ve had several parents apply at your level of income and whilst we do not offer awards at this income level, looking at outgoings you can see it’s tight.

VAT on school fees would be a big concern combined with everything else…

Yes, we are worried about this too. It will impact on salaries if not fees I imagine, so it's lose-lose either way!

*What I CAN tell you is two children at independent school will be tight on £120k

Nor impossible but tricky.*

Really even when we get 50% discount on fees? I am starting to think you are correct ubfortunately. On the up-side, we'll be able to afford amazing life experiences.

The answer is to get the kids horse riding lessons.🤣

Buy a pony. You won't have the time or money for holidays or days out. You won't need nice clothes. Kids won't need other activities. 😄

I would just live my life (at least for a few months or so) and see how that worked out financially and then adjust as needed.

I would definitely prioritise financial security, so overpaying the mortgage and putting some money into savings each month.

I think personally if I got a discount on private school fees then I would definitely strongly consider that for my kids, even if it meant fewer holidays or whatever.

5k plus needed for a weeks holiday abroad in school holidays I’d say.

I’ve just booked a short Uk break for half term in a child friendly hotel. That was £400 and will then be another £200-£300 at least probably for meals, activities and petrol. It’s not half term in that area so I’m thinking that has helped the price a bit.

A family meal out is anything in the region of £50-£100. Lunch would be cheaper. Not something we do often, especially with kids in tow anyway.

I have 2 primary aged kids. They do swimming lessons (council pool) at £25 per month each, DD does dance and DS does football once per week. That works out close to £100 a month for kids activities. Some families do more, some less!

We definitely don’t have 3k disposable income a month sadly! I think 1.5k truly disposable would give you a good standard of living, but it depends on so many factors

A friend of mine bought her kids everything over the years and not one thing was of long term benefit . Now one daughter is living in a run down flat and the other has had to move in to boyfriends parents as they can't afford to buy . All of us thought what a waste of money over the years when the kids to have had a leg up onto the property ladder .

Yes this is exactly why I want to know how much ro reserve for life enjoyment, so I know how much we can afford to invest/ save / use for private school. Just not sure what the best balance is.

Is the question how much I make and how much of that is fun money? Or what would be the optimum to have the lifestyle I want? I make about £2200 month after tax. And after essentials I have about £1k for fun and savings. I try to save and invest about £500/month. I would like to have about £3k/month for fun money. But if I had higher income my outgoings would also be bigger. The won't be a universal how much money you need for fun. You will settle to your routine eventually.

I honestly don’t know the answer to this. It’s going to depend on your priorities. We are a high earning household but don’t spend much money on luxuries or holidays. Rarely eat out. We prefer to spend money on the children’s extra curricular activities and food. So as long as we have enough money for those things I don’t care about much else.

5k plus needed for a weeks holiday abroad in school holidays I’d say.

I had no idea this is what family holidays abroad cost until this thread 😳

OP in your shoes I’d be tempted to go down the private school route because of the discount you get ( I love a good deal). Also as you work in a private school I think it would be on your mind all the time that your DC could be there.

Yes, this is definitely a factor.

That’s per month

£6k a month on holidays / eating out etc? 🤯