Page 5 | Is it any of his business?

Runningonjammiedodgers · 2023-01-14T19:46:40+00:00

Ex husband and I broke up in August 2021, we have two kids age 12 and 8. I met someone and introduced them to my kids and met there's in summer 2022 after we had been dating for six months. It didn't work out and we split in December. I have met someone else who seems great, we went on a couple of dates and arranged to meet up with our kids at the end of the Christmas holidays in a local country park. I introduced him to my boys as a friend and we weren't touchy feely or anything with each other. My ex found out through the kids and was not happy. He is annoyed the kids have met two bf in six months and feels I haven't known my bf long enough to introduce him. As I said the kids only know he was a friend, we had a lovely day out and my kids are happy and well looked after. AIBU to think that after 18 months apart it really isn't any of my ex's business and he need to keep out of it? My kids were fine when my last relationship ended.

Merryoldgoat · 15/01/2023 13:56

@Runningonjammiedodgers

The reason you get different answers is because we’re advising the poster.

If your ex posted I’d say the same. If you posted about your ex I’d say that it’s not good for the kids but you can’t change his behaviour - just insulate then and that he sounds feckless.

Original poster

Runningonjammiedodgers · 15/01/2023 13:58

@ClubhouseGift exactly. When it's a dad doing this you should just leave him to get on with it and it won't cause any harm. When it's a mum you are moral corrupting your children and your ex has every right to be concerned.

And fwiw I did and still do feel like I had a right to refuse to let my kids meet gf1 to soon. If he had had his way they would have met her less than four months after we separated. My kids were struggling to process our separation, my job as their mum was to help and support them through it and I did not think it would be beneficial to them to have a new woman thrust on them in the middle of their trauma. My role is not to support my ex in creating a new step family in under 180 days.

OP posts:

TidyDancer · 15/01/2023 14:01

@mnhq please can you edit the OP to advise people to at least read all the OP's posts before commenting.

Reverses are very annoying.

ClubhouseGift · 15/01/2023 14:05

Runningonjammiedodgers · 15/01/2023 13:58

@ClubhouseGift exactly. When it's a dad doing this you should just leave him to get on with it and it won't cause any harm. When it's a mum you are moral corrupting your children and your ex has every right to be concerned.

And fwiw I did and still do feel like I had a right to refuse to let my kids meet gf1 to soon. If he had had his way they would have met her less than four months after we separated. My kids were struggling to process our separation, my job as their mum was to help and support them through it and I did not think it would be beneficial to them to have a new woman thrust on them in the middle of their trauma. My role is not to support my ex in creating a new step family in under 180 days.

Nope. The sex of the parent is entirely irrelevant.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s mum or dad. It’s appalling behaviour from both.

Still, either way, each parent has no right to interfere on the other parents time (barring abuse, obviously).

Derbee · 15/01/2023 14:07

I’d be very concerned if I were him. It’s totally inappropriate to be introducing random boyfriends to your poor children so quickly.

Your ex sounds like he’s looking out for his children, which any good parent should be doing.

None of his business who you are sleeping with.
Totally part of his business who you are introducing his children to

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/01/2023 14:12

Now we get all the people who didn’t realise it’s a reverse!

strumpert · 15/01/2023 15:05

Runningonjammiedodgers · 15/01/2023 13:58

@ClubhouseGift exactly. When it's a dad doing this you should just leave him to get on with it and it won't cause any harm. When it's a mum you are moral corrupting your children and your ex has every right to be concerned.

And fwiw I did and still do feel like I had a right to refuse to let my kids meet gf1 to soon. If he had had his way they would have met her less than four months after we separated. My kids were struggling to process our separation, my job as their mum was to help and support them through it and I did not think it would be beneficial to them to have a new woman thrust on them in the middle of their trauma. My role is not to support my ex in creating a new step family in under 180 days.

You do not have that right.

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 15:05

Runningonjammiedodgers · 15/01/2023 13:58

@ClubhouseGift exactly. When it's a dad doing this you should just leave him to get on with it and it won't cause any harm. When it's a mum you are moral corrupting your children and your ex has every right to be concerned.

And fwiw I did and still do feel like I had a right to refuse to let my kids meet gf1 to soon. If he had had his way they would have met her less than four months after we separated. My kids were struggling to process our separation, my job as their mum was to help and support them through it and I did not think it would be beneficial to them to have a new woman thrust on them in the middle of their trauma. My role is not to support my ex in creating a new step family in under 180 days.

Did you actually post a thread with it tne real way round though or are you just assuming this?

Original poster

Runningonjammiedodgers · 15/01/2023 16:30

@findmybalance
www.mumsnet.com/talk/divorce_separation/4711655-meeting-another-girlfriend-can-i-say-anything

OP posts:

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 17:26

Bloody hell Op
I take it back

DadANDPK · 15/01/2023 19:25

roarfeckingroarr · 15/01/2023 11:12

It's really not great OP. Your kids shouldn't have to meet a string of boyfriends. What's the rush? Why do you need to involve them?

'String'. 2 blokes. Second one for a day out. It's not like she's moved then in FFS or in this case her ex has.

marcopront · 15/01/2023 20:47

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 17:26

Bloody hell Op
I take it back

Yes I agree
Some incredible responses there