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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked to move from relatives house

563 replies

OrangeBlankets · 14/01/2023 09:32

I've been living in a relatives house for more than 2 years. When I moved in the relative was in a care home but the person who had POA for them agreed for me to move in and said it was ok for a short time and that I didn't have to pay rent.

Now the house owner died and so did the POA. The executors want me to move out.

I don't have anywhere to go, can they evict me?

OP posts:
seven201 · 14/01/2023 10:45

If you're not paying rent and seeing as you have a job, if you stay for maybe just one more month and are sensible with money you should be able to save enough for a flat rental deposit? As you have a rental agreement you do have rights I guess so you could contact shelter. You should move out asap though if your relatives want to sell.

WinterFoxes · 14/01/2023 10:45

OP, You've had enough people telling you how lucky you have been. Right now you have a problem and need to solve it. I'm guessing you haven't saved money - maybe because you haven;t earned much. i can quite see how a very low paid or PT job's income can go just on bills and living expenses.

What you could do is reframe what you have been doing as professional housesitting - keeping the property cared for and inhabited in exchange for rent-free accommodation, which is, in effect, what you have been doing. Ask the executors to give you a good reference for having done this. Make sure the house is immaculately clean and tidy and the garden in good nick and take some photos. Then apply to an agency and say you are looking for a long term professional housesitting contract as your current one is about to come to an end.

BliainNua · 14/01/2023 10:46

Something else that has struck me... if your mental health is not too good right now, fighting a losing battle to stay in a house to which you have no legal right would be a disaster for your mental health.

erikbloodaxe · 14/01/2023 10:46

The Op hasn't been well. How cruel some of you are. What happened to being kind.

Op speak to Citizens Advice and your GP.

TheShellBeach · 14/01/2023 10:48

Wow.

TangledWebOfDeception · 14/01/2023 10:50

You must have known that this would happen at some point.

I understand it’s scary, I do. But you need to start looking for workable solutions, instead of wasting your efforts trying to force the world to rearrange itself to your expectations. You can’t stay in the house, so you need to accept that and work on finding a place to live. You do yourself no favours at all by clinging to a housing situation that is no longer viable.

It’s daunting, but you can do it. Start with the smallest step - ask for help/information from relevant bodies.

I agree with pp, try not to take it personally. This is the way it works.

I’m sorry your mental health isn’t good. I hope you can sort things out quickly to find a good living situation for yourself and your dog.

EL8888 · 14/01/2023 10:50

erikbloodaxe · 14/01/2023 10:46

The Op hasn't been well. How cruel some of you are. What happened to being kind.

Op speak to Citizens Advice and your GP.

Probably because she comes across as grabby, apathetic and entitled. It was obviously a short term arrangement. She should have been saving money and planning her next move. Taking responsibility for herself, like we all need to do

I suppose her going to CAB will give them a giggle: “can l stay in a house l don’t own and lm not due to inherit” =NO

knittingaddict · 14/01/2023 10:50

erikbloodaxe · 14/01/2023 10:46

The Op hasn't been well. How cruel some of you are. What happened to being kind.

Op speak to Citizens Advice and your GP.

The op being ill won't make on iota of difference to her legal position. She will still have to leave and presumably the ones asking her to vacate are family members. She needs to leave.

Agree about the GP though if she is that ill.

Rainbow1901 · 14/01/2023 10:50

OP you were probably doing the family a favour when you moved in, albeit rent free as it meant the house was occupied and being kept warm and damp free while the owner was in care.
But it was also advantageous to you as you had somewhere to live and it was a long favour. Over two years? You are being naive if you thought it would go on indefinitely.
All you can do now is negotiate when you will move out, if the executors are hoping to sell - maybe you can continue to live there until the house is sold.
We don't know but the house may even need to be sold to pay for the Grandmothers care which means the care home have a right to insist payment is now made as they fulfilled your grandmothers need for care knowing there was a property in the background.
Whatever the situation - you should be grateful for the reprieve while dealing with your MH but now it's time move on.

alittlebitofspark · 14/01/2023 10:50

Yes they can. You've had two years of rent free accommodation, that's amazing!

Presumably they're looking to sell the house. If that's the case you could offer to pay them rent while the house is on the market/going through sale. If they agree, that'll buy you a bit more time while you look for somewhere else. Alternatively, are you in a position to buy it?

blebbleb · 14/01/2023 10:52

It's not your house and unfortunately you'll have to move. You had a good ride, 2 years rent free. I think it's quite selfish to be awkward about this when they're going through a loss.

Deathbyfluffy · 14/01/2023 10:56

This is the kind of horror story that makes people not want to help - they said you can stay for a short while, and now you’re looking for a way to not leave after 2 years rent free!

To put it frankly, you’re taking the piss and really need to find somewhere to move to ASAP.
You’ll have difficulty with the dog though, a lot of private rents and pretty much all house shares will be a no no.

PupInAPram · 14/01/2023 10:57

WinterFoxes · 14/01/2023 10:45

OP, You've had enough people telling you how lucky you have been. Right now you have a problem and need to solve it. I'm guessing you haven't saved money - maybe because you haven;t earned much. i can quite see how a very low paid or PT job's income can go just on bills and living expenses.

What you could do is reframe what you have been doing as professional housesitting - keeping the property cared for and inhabited in exchange for rent-free accommodation, which is, in effect, what you have been doing. Ask the executors to give you a good reference for having done this. Make sure the house is immaculately clean and tidy and the garden in good nick and take some photos. Then apply to an agency and say you are looking for a long term professional housesitting contract as your current one is about to come to an end.

Fantastic, practical advice @WinterFoxes .

Redlocks28 · 14/01/2023 10:58

BliainNua · 14/01/2023 10:46

Something else that has struck me... if your mental health is not too good right now, fighting a losing battle to stay in a house to which you have no legal right would be a disaster for your mental health.

Exactly.

Whilst simultaneously completely trashing relationship you have with every family member in the process! If you decided to claim you had any rights and squat in this house, do you seriously think they will want anything to do with you in future?!

Unsure33 · 14/01/2023 10:59

you have said you have a tenancy agreement that you must of signed . What does it say in there ?

alittlebitofspark · 14/01/2023 10:59

WinterFoxes · 14/01/2023 10:45

OP, You've had enough people telling you how lucky you have been. Right now you have a problem and need to solve it. I'm guessing you haven't saved money - maybe because you haven;t earned much. i can quite see how a very low paid or PT job's income can go just on bills and living expenses.

What you could do is reframe what you have been doing as professional housesitting - keeping the property cared for and inhabited in exchange for rent-free accommodation, which is, in effect, what you have been doing. Ask the executors to give you a good reference for having done this. Make sure the house is immaculately clean and tidy and the garden in good nick and take some photos. Then apply to an agency and say you are looking for a long term professional housesitting contract as your current one is about to come to an end.

This is a really good idea!

Some replies here have been so harsh and judgemental. 😞

honestlyno · 14/01/2023 10:59

Some of the snipey messages on here gah! She didn't ask for your judgement - why do so many of you feel the need to give it?! Answer the question or move on.

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 14/01/2023 11:02

BMW6 · 14/01/2023 09:47

Come on OP, you've been living rent free for 2 years, you must have saved thousands towards a deposit to buy or at least rent a property.!

You have NO right, morally or legally, to stay in your GM's home. It forms part of her estate and needs to be disposed of according to her will.

The gravy train has reached its final destination. Time to get off.

The OP has already stated that she has mental illness. How is anyone supposed to save thousands on disability benefits?

honestlyno · 14/01/2023 11:02

@WinterFoxes well done Flowers

ivykaty44 · 14/01/2023 11:02

Do you have a copy of the tenancy agreement?

Have you been paying any money for rent and what does the tenancy agreement state about rent?

Is there a gas certificate for the property?

BabyFour2023 · 14/01/2023 11:03

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 14/01/2023 11:02

The OP has already stated that she has mental illness. How is anyone supposed to save thousands on disability benefits?

She should have enough for a rental deposit at the very, very least! She can then apply for housing benefit towards her rent.

GrasstrackGirl · 14/01/2023 11:04

This reply has been deleted

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Mynewhome · 14/01/2023 11:05

@OrangeBlankets

Your posts are not clear did you have type of agreement written up?

What is the situation for you not being able to find somewhere else? Are you work ing? On benefits? do you have children

You need to give more information for people to help

**

SoShallINever · 14/01/2023 11:07

That is a brilliant idea from @WinterFoxes .
We had a similar situation in our own family, where one grandchild effectively took over grans house and then remained there after her death. It caused a huge family split and though no one had the heart to throw her out, no one spoke to her again either.
Is the house being sold to pay for care home fees? or is there likely to be money in a will? if so you could use any inheritance to put towards a mortgage?

Can2022getanyworse · 14/01/2023 11:07

OrangeBlankets · 14/01/2023 10:18

The care home fees are already paid, they don't need to sell the house for that. They won't let me stay here even if I do pay rent though.

I will go to CAB to ask for help

Frankly whether or not you think they 'need' to sell the house its nothing to do with you. They have no obligation to keep housing you, for free.

Even if you were named in the will and some of the house was yours, the other beneficiaries could force a sale to release their share.

You've had zero rent to pay for two years. Even if you haven't been working I assume that you have been receiving benefits, and without rent to pay there should have been something left to keep back as a potential deposit when the time sadly came to move out.

Yabvvvvu.